Tonto Savalas in association with Buddha All-Stars present: I, Crackhead

The Scenic Route lyrics

2009-12-15T02:21:00.002-05:00

So Jeff called me and asked me to send him the track titles to "The Scenic Route". I being a good friend checked for them when I got home. I had them in many places but not really in any good copy and paste settings. So I knew that at one point I had started writing out all the lyrics for the album, I figured I could just send him that file with the lyrics cut-out.

Well I of course looked at the file and decided, heck there's only 5 or 6 songs left to do, I'll finish it and send him the whole thing lyrics and all. Well it's now 5 or 6 hours later. I have 18 different notebooks and folders open all over the place, headphones, and notes galore lying around. I have picture programs open with scans of notes, a media player filled with songs, and Audacity pushing the boundaries of my computer.

All this to finish writing out the lyrics to the last 5 or 6 songs. Well at least I finished (two and half years after the album came out). And because he caused me so much unintentional insanity, I'm not even going to send it to Jeff. I'm going to post it here and force him and the rest of you to behold these words of wisdom and truth. Enjoy

Buddha All-Stars
The Scenic Route

1-On Your Mark

words & vocals scott

On your marks, get set, go!

2-Land Of Milk & Honey

words & vocals-rob
mellotron-jeff
guitar, background vocals-mick

Well I was born in the land of milk & honey
But now I’m left to my own devices
I gotta work for my food
I got to earn a living
And I don’t like the choices left to me

Baby can’t you see
I was born in the land of milk & honey, honey

But now I have to earn my keep, my keep
I got to work, I got to work for a living, for a living that I
That I was amazed at how bad it could be

3-Magic Cake

words & vocals-mick
guitar, background vocals-scott

You know life only sucks so long
And sometimes it’s like
You wanna grasp every minute, every second, every fucking dollar of it man
And just fucking spend it right there and then
You just wanna fucking go to the edge and spit man
Fucking pull out your dick and start pissing of that fucking edge into oblivion
It’s called Pissing Into Oblivion man
It’s just like doing that
It’s just like fucking baking a cake-Mick

Magic Cake
OoooOoooOooo Magic Cake-Scott

4-Pissing Into Oblivion

words & vocals, drums-mick
guitar, background vocal-scott
keys-jeff
bass-rob

Pissing Into Oblivion

To the edge my friend, to the edge
Look on down face the clown at the edge
I know your so high, you are so high
But I also know, that it’s hell below
That your looking down upon

Face the black
Just like Homer faced 3-D
Just like Oprah was in the...face

All the decades that you change
All the holiday gifts
All the blessing that you receive
All the sandwiches you ate
All the movies your afraid

Conversation has run dry
Teachers fucking before your eyes

All the war that’s in your head
All the bloodshed in your bed
All the movies that you slept

Shirley Temple was not dead

All the words that you have said
All the thoughts thats in your head
All the pleasant toys you had
All the time ejaculations bad
All the gunshots in your streets
All the time the dogs in heat
All the hotdogs that you ate
All the kiddies you walk down the beach
All the anger in your fists
All the hands that eye your...aaaaahhhhh

Fucking I don’t know what were doing here-Mick

5-Driving On A Summer Night

words & vocals, backwards guitar-scott
drums, guitar-mick
moog-jeff

Legs and things I look for
Remind me that I’m not old
I watch the summer pass when the wild grass should be mowed
Spotlights in the sky attack the night
Cracked roads lead to trouble don’t be tricked

Driving On A Summer Night
Driving On A Summer Night
Driving On A Summer Night
Driving On A Summer Night

Now you’ve got to run
Now you’ve got to hide

I am sorry that you don’t see what I see
And you don’t believe what I believe
I’ve had enough of your jokes and jests
And all the comments about who’s the best
Today it comes to an end, were through
And I decided I don’t want to be with you

I’m new and your old
I’m hot and your cold
I’m water and your oil
We just don’t mix
And I’ve had enough of this

Get The Fuck Outta Here!!!

6-Fudge

Get the fuck outta here-Jeff
You fucking dickhead-Rob
Fucking asshole-Adam
Fucking batty, fucking batty-Jeff
Mother fuckers-Scott

Yo Mutherfucker goin down the street
Yo Mutherfucker I want some meat
Yo Mutherfucker buy a barbeque
Yo Mutherfucker I kill you-Jeff

Assorted noise and jackasserey-Scott, Adam, Mick, Jeff, Rob

7-Freeway

words & vocals-rob
guitar-adam
keys-mick
bass-scott

I was on the freeway,
just the other night it was so dark blue in the freeway
I lost my way on the freeway
She wore red and blue
Violet eyes and chewed her gum
Living in the slum my hispanic teddy bear

That should end right there,any possible way-Rob
I like the hispanic teddy bear-Scott
Is that what you were singing-Mick
No!-Rob
I thought I heard something about hispanic teddy bear-Adam
I did hear something about hispanic teddy bear man-Scott
I think no matter how many times you listen to that, you’ll still be mistaken-Rob

8-Arkansas

words & vocals, moog-jeff
keys-mick
guitar-scott
bass-rob

Driving down, a dusty street
Passing by, everyone I meet
I ain’t got time to stop
I can’t waste no time
I’ve got rivers to cross
And mountains to climb

Walking down, a dirty road
Passing by every living soul
I can’t fuck around
I have to get somewhere
So don’t talk to me
I don’t really care

Flying down, to Arkansas
Passing by everyone I saw
I didn’t talk to them
I hate their guts
And if they talk to me
I’ll kick em’ in the nuts

Driving down
Driving down
Driving down
Driving down
Driving down

A dusty street
Passing by
Everyone I meet

I ain’t got time to stop
I can’t waste no time
I got rivers to cross
And mountains to climb

Flying down to Arkansas
Arkansas
Arkansas
Arkansas

Constant speed-Mick

9-Been Around The Block

words & vocals, egg-rob
drums, guitar-mick
keys-scott
keys-jeff

Well I’ve been around the block more than once little girl
You can’t fool me with soft brown eyes and a little plaid skirt
Well I’ve been around the block more than once little girl
Can’t fool me with silk stockings and a little plaid skirt

Oh baby don’t ask me to do it
Oh baby don’t ask me to see
Been around the block more than once little girl
You know you can’t fool me

Red lipstick and a high done hair
Fuzzy little sweater and perky’s hiding under there
Nice long legs and a little plaid skirt
No you can’t fool me

I’ll do it

I’ll do it
I’ll do it for you little girl

Just tell me
Just tell me what you want and I’ll do it
Just come around my house little girl
With your soft brown eyes and your little plaid skirt little girl
Just ask and I’ll do it

Can’t believe
Can’t believe I did it
Can’t believe
Can’t believe I did it

That little girl with the soft brown eyes and a little plaid skirt
She fooled me
I can’t believe she fooled me

And I went and did it
Now I’m goin do it
Now I’m goin
Now I’m goin
Now I’m goin
Do it again

10-Oriental Girl

words & vocals, guitar-mick
keys-rob

Oriental girl you look like a pearl
You shine like a bright shiny light
If I was Godzilla, I would I would make you my bride
If I was Godzilla, I would I would make you my bride

11-Hanky Panky

words & vocals, guitar-mick
guitar-jeff
bass-rob
keys-scott

This songs’ dirty-Jeff

She did a hanky panky, yes she did, on her dress
She did a hanky panky, on the flowers
Ohhh the flowers
Yes she did a little hanky panky

Wonderfully
She could suck a face

Under the sea, she did a hanky panky
Under the tree with me
Underneath the stars
The gods were watching us doing hanky panky
By the brook we did the hanky panky

By the fish, I make her stinky

Stinky make

Underneath the trees
Underneath the stars
By the brook
We did a hanky panky
By the tree
By the brook
Under the stars
We did a hanky panky
Oooh it was so many years ago
That we did a hanky panky
That was so many years ago
Ooooooooooooooooooo

12-Naughty Boy

words & vocals, guitar-adam
vocals,harmonica -scott
vocals, keys-mick
vocals, bass-rob

Micks a naughty boy
Micks a naughty naughty boy
Micks a naughty boy
Micks a naughty boy

Micks a naughty boy
Micks a naughty naughty boy
Micks a naughty boy

And he plays his piano
All night long
He plays his funky music
And sings a happy song
He drives to the beach
And takes off his smelly shoe
And pulls out a piano
And sings sings sings the blues

Micks a funky boy
Micks a funky funky boy
Micks a funky boy

Micks a funky boy
Micks a funky boy
Micks a funky boy
Funky funky funky boy

He plays his piano all over town
He takes off his shoes and stomps the fucking ground-Adam

He plays his piano
Plays piano
Plays piano, all night long-Scott

I play my piano
Yeahhhhhhh, for so long
For so long-Mick

Iaaaaaiiiiiaaaaa
I play, play, play piano
Baby piano
I play the piano
Play piano
Lord I play piano
Lord I play my, play my, play my, play my piano
Play a piano
Play the piano
I play piano-Rob

The piano sounds sweet
Like a carnival song
Like a carnival song
He plays his piano through the county fair
He plays his piano in his underwear-Adam

Sir psycho
Sir psycho, yeah-Jeff

13-Buttermelt

words & vocals, guitar-mick
background words & vocals, drums-jeff
bass-rob
backwards guitar-scott

You’re a gorgeous blonde
You make me melt
Your on the frying pan
Like buttermelt

You’re my pancake bitch
You make me cry
You make me scream
You’re my melted girl

I’m playing the drums-Jeff (throughout the rest of the song)

My college girl

You’re my college girl
You make me scream and cry
Your such an easy goodbye

14-July 29th

words & vocals, guitar, kazoo-scott
bass-rob
keys-jeff
guitar-mick

Scott Matthew, Scott Matthew
Why’d you do that to me
Scott Matthew, Scott Matthew
Don’t you take me to the sea-Scott

Saturday July 29th
It’s a crazy day
Not like any other

We all showed up at Anthony’s
I made it there at a quarter to 3
It’s all fucked up
It’s all fucked up

Set up, got it down
Best dam show in the whole fucking town
It’s all fucked up
It’s all fucked up

Play some tunes tonight
Band they sound right
Record an album
Become big stars
Get to fly in jets
And drive in cars

On Saturday, July 29th, 2006

Scotty L has a patch over his right eye-Jeff

15-Sammy Davis’s Glass Eyeball

words & vocals-rob
guitar-jeff
keys-mick
flute-adam
tuning key-scott

I was walking down the street yesterday
Just minding my own dam business
When out the sky something hit me on the head
“Ow dammit!!!” I cried
And I looked around and what did I see
It was Sammy Davis’s Glass Eyeball laying on the floor
It had just fallen out of the sky
And the dam thing hit me on the head
How the hell could’ve that happened

So I went down to Sammy’s house
I said say Sammy your quite a louse
Sammy said boy give me my eyeball back
And come to think of it he looked real funny
With one eyeball, I had the other one in my hand you see

This isn’t going real well
But I think I’ll try
Sammy

If you could see-Jeff
If you can see-Mick
The drive-in-Jeff

16-Mongoose Time

guitar-adam
moog-jeff
keys-mick
bass-rob
tuning key, harmonica, noise-scott

My maracas are just like a snake-Jeff

17-Bird’s Nest

words & vocals, guitar-jeff
drums-mick
bass-rob
keys-scott

Baby I know where there’s a birds nest built
I said baby I know where there’s a birds nest built

18-Pignose

words & vocals, squeak-adam
keys, pig noise-mick
harmonica-scott
background vocals-rob

Pignose stop
Pignose, pignose stop it
Stop it pignose, pignose
Stop it pignose
Pignose
Goddam it pignose, this time I mean it
Pignose stop it
Stop it pignose
Stop it
Stop it pignose

All right my ass is getting tired

Then stop it pignose-Rob

Wax Vulva
Wax Wax Vulva
Wax Vulva
Wax Wax...what?-Jeff

There you go-Scott

19-The Nibler

words & vocals-scott
guitar-adam
keys-mick
bass-rob

Did you get in the car with him?-Scott
I got no words-Jeff
Don’t get in the car with Jamie Victory-Scott
I got no words-Jeff
Don’t get in the car with him-Scott
I got no business dealing with him
Our paths don’t cross ever-Jeff

There was a guy I knew
Called him the Nibler
He had hair growing out of his head
He kinda looked like he was dead
All the ladies looked away
When it was Kenneth Nibler day
Nibler
Nibler
Nibler

Why they called him the Nibler
Was his last name was the Niblett
He didn’t know it
But everyone was afraid of him
Nibler
Nibler

One day he went away
Where to go I don’t know
I guess he had to do some shit
He came back later on
All his hair was gone
It was a labotomy
Labotomy
Labotomy
Labotomy
For the Nibler
Nibler
Nibler
Nibler

“How much is that movie?”

“I gotta get back before my mom get’s home”

Kenny, kenny, kenny

NIBLER!!!

20-Crippled Walrus

words & vocals, keys-rob
guitar-mick
bass-adam
moog-jeff

Tell Big Daddy I’m cripple-Jeff
I see your cripple, I wanna know how you got cripple-Scott
Yeah it was um…-Adam
The Walrus-Scott
The Walrus-Adam

They call him Johnny Gumball

But first, Cornish hens dancing around the pumpernickel thong
Then round and round and round the peppermint poles
Gathered around the guests are moose and squirrel in the espionage game
Around the East German wall that kept the nasty stuff on the other side
Keep them nasty ones round the other side

Don’t go picking, on the old cripple walrus
His big old walrus teeth, will still cripple you
Cause he’s been years, without the circus
Way back since the circus let him down

Don’t go picking, on the old cripple walrus
His big old walrus teeth, he’ll cripple you
Cause he’s been years, without the circus
Way back since the circus let him down

You don’t need to tease, the old cripple walrus
Plenty other fights to pick, without picking on him
Just keep your eyes down, when you walk past him
The look in his eyes is the end of the day

He’s been years, without the circus
Way back since the circus let him down
He’s been years, without the circus
Way back since the circus let him down
He’s been years, without the circus
Way back since the circus let him down

You don’t need to tease, the old cripple walrus
Plenty other fights to pick, without picking on him
He’s been years, without the circus

21-Eggnog

words & vocals, guitar-jeff
background words & vocals-rob
kazoo-mick
keys-scott

Eggnog in the autumn, a very lovely site
Just when it’s getting cold out into the night

You drink it
Yeah you drink it-Rob
Oh you know you drink it
Yes you drink it-Rob

Eggnog in the autumn, around the kitchen table
You know just what to do, drink it if you’re not able
You can drink it all night
You can drink it all day
Even if you don’t want to

Eggnog in the morning, with your cup of coffee-Rob
Eggnog in the afternoon, will make it a little soggy-Rob

You drink it
Yes you drink it-Rob
You know you drink it
Yes got to drink it-Rob

Eggnog in the autumn, eggnog in the night
Out your bathroom window, eggnog’s out of sight
Eggnog is the reason, your holiday comes round
Everybody send one, everybody except those comin round

Drink some eggnog-Rob

Cause you drink it
Yes you drink it-Rob
You know he drinks it
You know he drinks it-Rob
You know he drinks it
You know he drinks it-Rob
Yes he drinks it
Yes he drinks it-Rob
You know he drinks it
You know he drinks it
You know he drinks it
You know he drinks it

Eggnog-Rob

They’re both lactose intolerant if you ask me-Scott

22-Looking Good In Yellow

words & vocals, drums, guitar-mick
background words & vocals, keys-rob
keys-jeff
keys-scott

Oh fucker-Jeff

Oh shit! Double time man.
Rattatatatatatata
You know, it’s like, like a machine gun, you know sometimes you know and you feel it in your toes man
Rattatatatatatata
Like a, like a, like a train man, like a train
Like a little model train underneath the Christmas tree-Mick

Yeah, yeah-Jeff

She’s walking down the corner wearing yellow
She looks so good in yellow
She’s walking down the street wearing a yellow dress
In a yellow day in the summer

She’s looks so good in yellow
She’s looks so good in yellow
She’s looking so good that I want to holler out
You looking so good in yellow

Thank you very much she says
Thank you very much
I kinda like this dress
I like it very much

Your looking pretty hot in yellow
Turn my eyes yellow
Turning me on so on
Your turning me on

She was wearing yellow
Yellow in her dress
She was wearing yellow
Yellow is a mess-Rob

1, 2, 1, 2-Mick
Oh wait, wait, wait, I lost it, its gone now-Scott
Why’d you fuck it up-Mick
I was trying to do this thing…ok-Scott
1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4-Mick

Oowowowwooow
Fuck I shit
Sorry, I’m sorry-Rob

CAAA
CAAA
CAAA-Mick & Scott

Highway Goodbye, Highway Goodbye, Highway Goodbye, Highway Goodbye-Rob

23- The Dark Days Of Solomon Brown

words-Mark Twain
words & vocals, keys-scott
moog-jeff
drums-mick
bass-rob

The Dark Days Of Solomon Brown

It was a soft quiet summer landscape
As lovely as dream, and as lonesome as a Sunday
But then came Solomon Brown

Men fear him for he has the storms and the lightning
And all of the devils that be in hell at his beck and call
And then he said Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
I shall smother the whole world into the death blackness of midnight
I shall blot out the sun and it shall never shine again
Fruits of the earth shall rot from the lack of light and warmth
And the people of earth shall famine and die to the last man

It’s beautiful, the pathos-Jeff

24-Goodnite

words & vocals, alarm clock-mick
background vocals-scott

Goodnite little darling, goodnite
Sleep tight little baby, sleep tight
You know that you’re my princess

Sleep little baby, sleep little darling, sleep little girl
Sleep little princess
Sleep little baby, sleep little girl
Sleep little my little princess
Sleep, Sleep

Sleep little princess
Sleep little girl
Sleep tonite
Tonite my little princess

25-The Steve McQeen Hellride Bus

words & vocals, background vocals, drums-jeff
words & vocals, bass-rob
background vocals, keys-scott
guitar-mick

Steve McQueen Hellride Bus
Steve McQueen Hellride Bus-Jeff

Because I’m ridin’ in my Steve McQueen Hellride Bus
Because I’m ridin’ in my Steve McQueen Hellride Bus-Rob

Steve McQueen…he was a bad mofo
Steve McQueen…died a long time ago-Jeff

Because I’m ridin’ in my Steve McQueen Hellride Bus
Oh lord I’m ridin’ in my Steve McQueen Hellride Bus-Rob

Steve McQueen…he did what he wanted
Steve McQueen…he was the man, Man-Jeff

Because I’m ridin’ in my Steve McQueen Hellride Bus
Because I’m ridin’ in my Steve McQueen Hellride Bus-Rob

Steve McQueen…he was scared of Charles Manson
He kept a gone under his car seat
He wasn’t going to get caught by the Manson family
Oh yeaah
Oh yeaah
Steve McQueen Hellride Bus-Jeff

Steve McQueen Hellride Bus-Rob

Hellride Bus
Hellride Bus
Hellride Bus oh yeaah
Hellride Bus
You got to go home
We got to go home
We got to go home-Jeff
To eat our magic cake-Rob
We got to go home-Jeff
Because my wife says theres a snake-Rob
We got to go home-Jeff
Cause I got a shit I got to take-Rob
We got to go home-Jeff
On my Steve McQueen Hellride Bus-Rob
Steve McQueen-Jeff
On my Steve McQueen Hellride Bus-Rob
He was stronger than Mr. Clean-Jeff
On my Steve McQueen Hellride Bus-Rob
He didn’t have to buy no ticket-Jeff
In my Steve McQueen Hellride Bus-Rob
Because the mofo owns it-Jeff
It’s called the Steve McQueen Hellride Bus-Rob
It’s the ride of your life-Jeff
The Steve McQueen Hellride Bus-Rob
But don’t bring your wife-Jeff
She won’t like the Hellride Bus-Rob
Hell No-Jeff
It’s called the ouchy that was my mouth-Rob
Steve McQueen-Jeff
Hellride Bus-Rob

On the Steve McQueen Hellride-Rob

My car bit the dust-Dave
The race is cashed-Mick

Twice

2009-11-26T19:40:00.004-05:00

Original member of Tonto Savalas and founding member of the Buddha All-Stars, Scott Lozon, has released his second solo album, Twice on 11-25-09. The album is a collection of cover songs including songs by: The Beatles, Bob Dylan, David Bowie, Bob Marley, Jimi Hendrix, Syd Barrett, John Frusciante, The Rolling Stones, Alice Cooper, Beck, The Beach Boys and many more. This is Scotts' first solo album in ten years, when asked about the long wait Scott replied, "I was busy". Check your local Black Friday ads to find it in nearby stores.

End Of An Era

2009-10-24T04:03:00.002-04:00

I've been meaning to do this for weeks, but sometimes you put off dealing with the passing of an old friend. As of Oct. 26, 2009 the main Tonto and Buddha website, the Phantasmagoric one on Geocities, will cease to exist. I suppose I could pay the nominal fee to keep it alive, but why bother when this and many other sites are still free. Still when the end comes it will be a sad day for me, it was my first website, the bands first website, and has been up and running for almost ten years. It hosted band member surveys, band newsletters, the first 7 stories of the aborted Drowning Into Darkness book, song reviews from garageband, album info, pics, links to the many Buddha/Tonto/Archer websites, and much much more.

So I have posted the album list and comments from the site here directly below this post. I have also update the links on this page and added some of the pics from the vault.

As for anything new who knows someday maybe.

RIP Phantasmagoric Website
I love you and will miss you

Album Dates

2009-10-24T03:16:00.003-04:00

Here is a list of all the Tonto, Buddha, Jeff Archer, Scott Lozon, and Mic albums that I know of (Jeff's most recently listed album is 2005 so I'm sure he's put out 7 more since then).

THE BUDDHA ALL-STARS

WALL OF SOUND Jan. 1997
DROWNING INTO DARKNESS Oct. 1998
CRACK BABIES ON PARADE Jan. 1999
PHANTASMAGORIC KALEIDOSCOPE June 2000
TRIPPING THROUGH OBLIVION (4CD's) Aug. 2001
HELLO May 18, 2003
THE SCENIC ROUTE April 21, 2007

TONTO SAVALAS

FAMILY PORTRAIT Sep. 1995
TALES FROM THE BAKERY Aug. 1995
HONEY MUSTARD Nov. 1995
THE CHRISTMAS ALBUM Dec. 1995
CLOSE THE KITCHEN Apr. 1996
SOME MORE HEAVY METAL Apr. 1997
THE BOOK OF TONTO Jan. 1998
MANIFESTO Jan. 1999
HEART OF SAN ANTONIO Jan. 2000
LIVE AT PJ'S Sep. 2000
RUBEN, WHERE ARE YOU? Nov 15, 2002

Jeffrey Archer

A Beautiful Morning 2005
Chock Full of Nuts 1998
Covered Wagon Style 1997
Duets for Synthesizers 2004
Elysium Mons 2003
Experimental Music #1-Moog Music 2005
Mellow Roast 1997
Music For Acid Casualties Vol.1 1997
Music For Gloomy Atmospheres & Conditions 1998
Paradise Tapes Vol.1 2004
Paradise Tapes Vol.2 2005
Spanish Love Songs and Other Party Favorites 1996

Scott Lozon

Black Pizza/Beautiful Noise 1999
Twice 2009

Mic

Silent Tears Of The Melon 2003

Comments from the Phantasmagoric website

2009-10-24T02:42:00.001-04:00

First Name : Rip Van Winkle
URL : http://www.archive.org/index.php
E-mail Address : you know where to find me
Comments & Suggestions : I have lots of comments and suggestions but Ill limit it to one at this time: MORE TONTO, MORE BUDDHA, NOW!!!!!!

First Name : Groogy
URL :
E-mail Address : Oliveoil@Olive.com
Comments & Suggestions : I heard that Tonto Savalas is working on a new album, is this true?

First Name : Thong Thor
URL : frothing@superfreakin.org
E-mail Address : jugjuicemilkin@superfreakin.org
Comments & Suggestions : You guys are my heroes. I cant say enough about how much I love this flaming kraft. You should begin a school to train others to become just like you. We need to laugh at the world more often. Gotta run, my jugjiggers overflowing and theres much work to d

First Name : Harry Johnson
URL :
E-mail Address : Whisper@inmyanalstep
Comments & Suggestions : Tuck me in, Tuck me in, Tuck me in, Deadman.

First Name : Robert S
URL : www.nefarious-web.com
E-mail Address : flipskater0005@yahoo.com
Comments & Suggestions : Found you on the garage band site just checkin out your site later.

First Name : Edgar
URL :
E-mail Address : fweddas@kjaiua.com
Comments & Suggestions : I was just dusting off my mixer and I noticed there was apubic hair caught in one of the knobs. Thats crazy and stuff.

First Name : Walking Tall
URL : twobyfourskickass.com
E-mail Address : bonecrusherwilson@twobyfourskickass.com
Comments & Suggestions : Fuck off man. You aint hip unless youre driving a vintage duster or amc pacer poser. You bon bon boys are fags.

First Name : Bon Vill E.
URL : mybonbonneville.com
E-mail Address : blubonny@mybonbonneville.com
Comments & Suggestions : If you aint drivin Bonneville youre a loser. Besides, all us Bon Bon boys really enjoy trying to run down people who are already injured because were low.

First Name : Ifonna
URL : Ifonnaaxu@axu.com
E-mail Address : ifonnaaxuaquestion@axu.com
Comments & Suggestions : Yo. I fonta ax u just what is yo buznass ho? I had done seent you messin round wit yo cheezedick agein. U crazy damn foo. You bes be checkin yoself now cuz I hat seent you knockin my bitches round, and I aint fon to be takin this bull%$#@ n e mo.

First Name : Slim Jenkins
URL : http://www.slimshimskin.com
E-mail Address : slim@slimshimskin.com
Comments & Suggestions : Tonto: You an dat got damn buddha had done been rompin round my territori gain fuckin wit my bithes. I tol you ten time now not be messin wit my bitches n#@$!a. You bes understan there gon be repercussion round yo hood now. I ant gon ax you gain, an dis t

First Name : stump
URL : http://www.stumpchumpbumpin.edu
E-mail Address : stumpchump1@slamqueen.com
Comments & Suggestions : You should try lying more often. Your illusions are getting you nowhere.

First Name : smackdown
URL : smacking you down
E-mail Address : smacking you up and down for the past 30 years
Comments & Suggestions : to all the lil bitches, SMACK, there is no tonto, no buddha, no tar, no solo, only SMACK

First Name : Angered
URL :
E-mail Address : Imfuckingangry@angry.com
Comments & Suggestions : What is up with these people? What do they do all the time? No New albums in 20 years? DAMN!!

First Name : Confused
URL :
E-mail Address : Imconfused@confusin.com
Comments & Suggestions : What is the story with Tonto/Buddha? Are they broken up or are they recording a new 8 cd album for us fans. I heard Scott Lozon was in a new band called The Plumbers and what is this about T.A.R.?

First Name : Rufus
URL :
E-mail Address : Rufus@gargamel,com
Comments & Suggestions : I think maybe they have broken up. Scott Lozon the bands chief spokesman has been very quiet. Maybe Rueben, Where Are You? was their Abbey Road

First Name : stupid
URL :
E-mail Address : stupid@theboneheads.com
Comments & Suggestions : is it true that the band has broken up??? and that solo projects are abound?? ive heard mention of the TAR project and the J.A. Experience.

First Name :
URL :
E-mail Address :
Comments & Suggestions : ...do you like movies about gladiators???

First Name : tico
URL : man
E-mail Address :
Comments & Suggestions : when are you coming to waco, TX?

First Name :
URL :
E-mail Address :
Comments & Suggestions : MONKEY, MONKEY, MONKEY!!!

First Name : Mr. Skeptical
URL :
E-mail Address : impossible@noway.com
Comments & Suggestions : I dont believe these so-called albums are real! If they they are really real, lets see the cover art for the albums!

First Name : Gomble
URL :
E-mail Address : Oogy@boogy.com
Comments & Suggestions : Well, here I am inside my own head again. There are three naked fairies circling me. I think the blond one likes me, but she is too shy to say so. You wouldnt think naked fairies would be shy, would you? My dog also told me that all people are different,

First Name : Cha Cha Rodriguiz
URL :
E-mail Address : Plastik.com
Comments & Suggestions : I ate Golden Crisp this morning. Then when I peed later on my pee smelled just like Golden Crisp. Thats crazy and stuff.

First Name : Harry
URL : Anus
E-mail Address : Mytaintstinks.org
Comments & Suggestions : Is it true that Tonto Savalas is going to play in Rome at the Vatican next month?

First Name : Buddha
URL : All
E-mail Address : Star
Comments & Suggestions : Some Tips: 1. Don't forget what the Monkey told you 2. Pet the Mongoose he is your friend 3. Children shouldn't play with Aardvarks 4. Protect your balls around the Jacknife Rabbit 5. Watch out for the Spiders

Outer Drive

2009-03-12T01:35:00.002-04:00

In our continuing quest to explore every road in Southeastern Michigan, Michael and I took a drive from one end of Outer Drive to the other. The idea for this came out of an article I read from an August 2004 Metro Times and my own curiousity. We started on the south side at W. Outer Drive and Jefferson in Ecorse. Alas we got horribly lost around the Conner and Gratiot area, and I didn't remember that it turned into Whittier at the end. So side streets ended up leading us to Lakeshore Drive and the end of our route. It was very strange at the end, after having gone through this quite picturesque view of Detroit, to have this big lake staring you in the face.

Here's a map of the route

View Larger Map

Prog Mix

2008-11-23T20:17:00.001-05:00

Music

2008-06-29T02:45:00.003-04:00

Okay so here's everything I have (minus the classical music), I still have visions of transferring my tapes and albums, which should be done by 2047.

A
AC/DC-Back In Black
AC/DC-Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
AC/DC-For Those About To Rock
AC/DC-High Voltage
AC/DC-Highway To Hell
AC/DC-If You Want Blood You've Got It
AC/DC-Let There Be Rock
AC/DC-Powerage
AC/DC-Rarities
AC/DC-74' Jailbreak
AC/DC-Who Made Who
Aerosmith-Greatest Hits
Aerosmith-Toys In The Attic
American Graffiti-Soundtrack
Animals-Best Of Eric Burdon & The Animals 1966-1968
Animals-Every One Of Us
Animals-Greatest Hits
Animals-The Twain Shall Meet
Animals-Winds Of Change
Jeff Archer-A Beautiful Morning
Jeff Archer-A Thread Of Light In The Cloak Of Darkness
Jeff Archer-Chock Full Of Nuts
Jeff Archer-Duets for Synthesizer
Jeff Archer-Elysium Mons
Jeff Archer-MelloW Roast
Jeff Archer-Moog Music
Jeff Archer-Paradise Tapes Vl.1
Jeff Archer-Paradise Tapes Vl.2
Jeff Archer-Plank Road
Jeff Archer-Rare & Unreleased
Jeff Archer-Spanish Love Songs And Other Party Favorites
Jeff Archer/with Spooky Garcia-Molten Gold And Brimstone
Arrested Developement-3 Years, 5 Months & 2 Days In The Life Of
Arzachel-Arzachel
Audioslave-Audioslave

B
Band-Across The Great Divide
Band-The Band
Band-Music From The Big Pink
Syd Barrett-Barrett
Syd Barrett-The Madcap Laughs
Syd Barrett-Opel
Beach Boys-Pet Sounds
Beastie Boys-Check Your Head
Beastie Boys-Ill Communications
Beatles-1
Beatles-A Toot And A Snore In '74
Beatles-Abbey Road
Beatles-Hard Days Night
Beatles-Help!
Beatles-Let It Be
Beatles-Magical Mystery Tour
Beatles-Past Masters Vl.2
Beatles-Please, Please Me
Beatles-Revolver
Beatles-Rubber Soul
Beatles-Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band
Beatles-White Album
Beatles-With The Beatles
Beatles-Yellow Submarine
Beck-The Banjo Story
Beck-Dirty Dirty
Beck-Fresh Meat and Old Slabs
Beck-Golden Feelings
Beck-Guero
Beck-Mellow Gold
Beck-Midnight Vultures
Beck-Mutations
Beck-Odelay
Beck-One Foot In The Grave
Beck-One Of These Days
Beck-Orphan Songs-Vl.1
Beck-Orphan Songs-Vl.2
Beck-Sea Change
Beck-Stereopathetic Soul Manure
Beck-Strange Invitation
Beck-The Information
Beck-A Western Field by Moonlight
Jeff Beck Group-Ola
Jeff Beck Group-Truth
Chris Bell-I Am The Cosmos
Beta Band-The Three E.P.'s
Big Brother & The Holding Company-Big Brother & The Holding Company
Big Brother & The Holding Company-Cheap Thrills
Big Star-#1 Record
Big Star-Live
Big Star-Radio City
Big Star-Third/Sisters Lovers
Big Youth-Dreadlocks Dread
Big Youth-Jamming In The House Of Dread
Big Youth-Natty Universal Dread
Big Youth-Ride Like Lightning
Big Youth-Some Great Big Youth
Black Crowes-Amorica
Black Crowes-By Your Side
Black Crowes-Lions
Black Crowes-Southern Harmony and Musical Companion
Black Sabbath-Black Sabbath
Black Sabbath-Greatest Hits
Black Sabbath-Paranoid
Blind Faith-Blind Faith
Blood Sweat & Tears-Super Hits
John Spencer Blues Explosion-Experimental Remix’s
Boston-Boston
David Bowie-Aladdin Sane
David Bowie-Bowie at the Beeb
David Bowie-Deram Anthology
David Bowie-Hunky Dory
David Bowie-The Man Who Sold The World
David Bowie-Space Oddity
David Bowie-Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars
Bridge School Concerts-Vl. 1
Bubble Puppy-A Gathering Of Promises
Buddha All-Stars-Crack Babies On Parade
Buddha All-Stars-Drowning Into Darkness
Buddha All-Stars-Hello
Buddha All-Stars-Phantasmagoric Kaliedoscope
Buddha All-Stars-The Scenic Route
Buddha All-Stars-Tripping Through Oblivion
Buddha All-Stars-Wall of Sound
Buddha Savalas-Duets
Buddha Savalas-Instrumentals
Buddha Savalas-Jeff
Buddha Savalas-Mick
Buddha Savalas-Recycle Radon
Buddha Savalas-Rob
Buddha Savalas-Rock and Roll
Buddha Savalas-Scott
Buddha Savalas-The Bootleg Series Volume 1-The Scenic Route
Buddha Savalas-The One Day Album
Buffalo Springfield-Buffalo Springfield
Byrds-Dr. Byrds And Mr. Hyde

C
Cable Guy-Soundtrack
Capital Cities-All Thrills
Capitol Cities-M.F.I.C.
Captain Beefheart-Trout Mask Replica
Carpenters-If I Were A Carpenter
Johnny Cash-16 Biggest Hits
Johnny Cash-1955-1983
Johnny Cash-America
Johnny Cash-At Folsom Prison
Johnny Cash-Essential Vl.1
Johnny Cash-Essential Vl.2
Johnny Cash-Give My Love To Rose
Johnny Cash-This Is Johnny Cash
Ray Charles-Best Of The Atlantic Years
Cheech & Chong-Greatest Hit
Alex Chilton-19 Years
Eric Clapton-Time Pieces
Clash-Clash
Clash-Clash On Broadway
Clash-From Here To Eternity
Clash-London Calling
Clash-Sadinista
Jimmy Cliff-The Harder They Come
Patsy Cline-12 Greatest Hits
Joe Cocker-Joe Cocker!
Joe Cocker-Mad Dogs and Englishmen
Joe Cocker-With A Little Help From My Friends
Leonard Cohen-The Best Of Leonard Cohen
Leonard Cohen-Songs Of Leonard Cohen
Coldplay-Parachutes
Coldplay-Rush of Blood to the Head
Sam Cooke-Portrait of a Legend 1951-1964
Alice Cooper-Easy Action
Alice Cooper-Greatest Hits
Alice Cooper-Live At The Whiskey A Go-Go
Alice Cooper-Love It To Death
Alice Cooper-School’s Out
Cream-Very Best Of
Creedence Clearwater Revival-Chronicles
Creedence Clearwater Revival-Willie and the Poorboys
Jim Croce-Photographs & Memories

D
Datsuns-Datsuns
De La Soul-3 Feet High And Rising
De La Soul-Buhloone Mindstate
Dead Presidents-Soundtrack Vl. 1
Derek and the Domino’s-Layla
DGC-Rarities Vol. 1
Donovan-Greatest Hits
Donovan-Summer Day Reflection Songs
Donovan-Troubadour 1964-1976
Doors-The Doors
Doors-L.A. Woman
Doors-Morrison Hotel
Doors-Soft Parade
Doors-Strange Days
Doors-Waiting For The Sun
Dr. Dre-The Chronic
Nick Drake-Five Leaves Left
Nick Drake-Pink Moon
Dramatics-Best of
Bob Dylan-Bob Dylan
Bob Dylan-Another Side Of Bob Dylan
Bob Dylan And The Band-The Basement Tapes
Bob Dylan And The Band-The Genuine Basement Tapes
Bob Dylan-Biography
Bob Dylan-Blonde On Blonde
Bob Dylan-Blood On The Tracks
Bob Dylan-Bootleg Series Vl 1-3
Bob Dylan-Bootleg Series Vl 5-Live 1975 Rolling Thunder
Bob Dylan-Bringing It All Back Home
Bob Dylan-Desire
Bob Dylan-Dylan
Bob Dylan-The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan
Bob Dylan-Greatest Hits
Bob Dylan-Greatest Hits Vl.2
Bob Dylan-Highway 61
Bob Dylan-John Wesley Harding
Bob Dylan-Live At The Alameda County Colisuem
Bob Dylan-Live 1975(2)
Bob Dylan-Nashville Skyline
Bob Dylan-New Morning
Bob Dylan-Self Portrait
Bob Dylan-The Times They Are A-Changin'
Bob Dylan-Time Out Of Mind

E
Electric Six-Fire
Electric Six-Senor Smoke
Emerson, Lake, and Palmer-Brain Salad Surgery
Eminem-8 Mile
Eminem-The Eminem Show
Eminem-The Marshal Mathers LP
Eminem-The Slim Shady LP
Brian Eno-Here Come the Warm Jets
Brian Eno-Taking Tiger Mountain (By Strategy)
Roky Erickson-Demon Angel

F
Faces-A Nod Is As Good As A Wink...To A Blind Horse
Faces-Best of
Faces-First Step
Faces-Long Player
Faces-Ooh-La-La
Fat Boy Slim-You've Come A Long Way, Baby
Flamin Groovies-Supersneakers
Fleetwood Mac-Best Of The Original Fleetwood Mac
Fleetwood Mac-Rumours
Fleetwood Mac-Then Play On
Flickerstick-Welcoming Home The Astronauts
Aretha Franklin-Lady Soul
Franz Ferdinad-Franz Ferdinad
Franz Ferdinad-You Could Have It So Much Better
Friends Of Dennis Wilson-Chrome Universe
Friends Of Dennis Wilson-Live at the Elbow Room 9-1-07
Friends Of Dennis Wilson-Live at the Fiberglass Freakout 6-23-07
John Frusciante-Ataxia-Automatic Writing
John Frusciante-Curtains
John Frusciante-DC EP
John Frusciante-Demo’s
John Frusciante-Demo’s 2
John Frusciante-Inside Of Emptiness
John Frusciante-Niandra Lades
John Frusciante-Shadows Collide With People
John Frusciante-Shadows Collide With People-Acoustic
John Frusciante-Shadows Collide With People-Demo's
John Frusciante-Smile From The Streets You Hold
John Frusciante-Sphere In The Heart Of Silence, A
John Frusciante-To Record Only Water For 10 Days
John Frusciante-Usually Just A T-Shirt
John Frusciante-The Will To Death
Fugazi-The Argument
Funkadelic-Free Your Mind and Your Ass Will Follow
Funkadelic-Maggot Brain
Funkadelic-Music For Your Mother

G
GarageBand-Best Of Garageband
Jerry Garcia-Garcia
Marvin Gaye-Live at the London Palladium
Marvin Gaye-Motown Hits
Marvin Gaye-What's Going On
Grand Funk Railroad-Mix
Grateful Dead-American Beauty
Grateful Dead-Grateful Dead
Grateful Dead-Workingman’s Dead
Al Green-Call Me
Greenhornes-Dual Mono
Guns N’ Roses-Appetite for Destruction
Guns N’ Roses-The Spaghetti Incident
Guns N’ Roses-Use Your Illusion I & II

H
Pete Ham-7 Park Avenue
Hard Rock Cafe-Classic Rock
Ben Harper-Fight For Your Mind
George Harrison-All Things Must Pass
George Harrison-Electronic Sound
Pj Harvey-Dance Hall at Louse Point
Pj Harvey-Dry
Pj Harvey-4-Track Demos
Pj Harvey-Is This Desire
Pj Harvey-Rid Of Me
Pj Harvey-To Bring You My Love
Pj Harvey-Uh Huh Her
Richie Haven-Mixed Bag
Isaac Hayes-Best Of Vl. 1
Isaac Hayes-Hot Buttered Soul
Jimi Hendrix-Are You Experienced
Jimi Hendrix-Axis: Bold As Love
Jimi Hendrix-Electric Ladyland
Jimi Hendrix-First Rays of the New Rising Sun
Jimi Hendrix-South Saturn Delta
Jimi Hendrix-The Ultimate Experience
Hole-Live Through This
Hussalonia-Instant Winner
Hussalonia-Sorry Try Again

I
In Yo' Face-History Of Funk-1/2,1,2,3
Iron & Wine-Our Endless Numbered Days
Iron & Wine-The Creek Drank The Cradle
Iron & Wine-Woman King

J
Jabberjaw-Good To The Last Drop
Jane’s Addiction-Kettle Whistle
Jefferson Airplane-After Bathing At Baxter's
Jefferson Airplane-Surrealistic Pillow
Jefferson Airplane-Volunteers
Jet-Get Born
Elton John-Elton John
Elton John-Empty Sky
Elton John-Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
Elton John-Honky Chateau
Elton John-Madman Across The Water
Elton John-Tumbleweed Connection
Elton John-Your Songs
Janis Joplin-Greatest Hits
Janis Joplin-I Got Dem Ol’ Kozmic Blues Again Mama!
Janis Joplin-Pearl
Just Say Noel-Compilation

K
Carole King-Tapestry
King Harvest-Dancing In The Moonlight
Kings Of Leon-Aha Shake Heartbreak
Kings Of Leon-Because Of The Times
Kings Of Leon-Youth And Young Manhood
Kinks-Are The Village Green Preservation Society
Kinks-Arthur or The Decline and Fall of the British Empire
Kinks-Everybody's In Showbiz
Kinks-Face To Face
Kinks-Kontroversy
Kinks-Kronikles
Kinks-Lola Versus Powerman and The Moneygoround
Kinks-Muswell Hillbillies
Kinks-One For The Road
Kinks-Something Else
Kinks-This Is Where I Belong
Al Kooper-Rare and Well Done
Kooper, Bloomfield, Stills-Super Sessions
Lenny Kravitz-Are You Gonna Go My Way
Lenny Kravitz-Baptism
Lenny Kravitz-Believe
Lenny Kravitz-Circus
Lenny Kravitz-5
Lenny Kravitz-Lenny
Lenny Kravitz-Let Love Rule
Lenny Kravitz-Mama Said
Lenny Kravitz-On A Magic Carpet Ride

L
Led Zeppelin-1
Led Zeppelin-2
Led Zeppelin-3
Led Zeppelin-4
Led Zeppelin-BBC Sessions
Led Zeppelin-Coda
Led Zeppelin-Houses of the Holy
Led Zeppelin-How The West Was Won
Led Zeppelin-In Through The Out Door
Led Zeppelin-Live
Led Zeppelin-Physical Graffiti
Led Zeppelin-Presence
Led Zeppelin-Rare Interviews
Lemonheads-Come On Feel the Lemonheads
Lemonheads-It's A Shame About Ray
Lemonheads-My Drug Buddy
John Lennon-Anthology
John Lennon-Lennon
Love-Love
Love-Da Capo
Love-Forever Changes
Scott Lozon-Beautiful Noise/Black Pizza

M
Bob Marley-Babylon By Bus
Bob Marley-Burnin’
Bob Marley-Catch A Fire
Bob Marley-Confrontation
Bob Marley-Exodus
Bob Marley-Kaya
Bob Marley-Live!
Bob Marley-Natty Dread
Bob Marley-Rastaman Vibration
Bob Marley-Reggea Magic
Bob Marley-Songs of Freedom
Bob Marley-Survival
Bob Marley-Talkin' Blues
Bob Marley-Uprising
Curtis Mayfield-Curtis
Curtis Mayfield-Essential
Curtis Mayfield-Live
Curtis Mayfield-Roots
Curtis Mayfield-Superfly
Paul McCartney-Wingspan
MC5-Kick Out The Jams
Joe Meek & The Blue Men-I Hear A New World
Men-The Men
Metallica-Master Of Puppets
Steve Miller Band-Greatest Hits 74-78
Moby Grape-Crosstalk
Moby Grape-Moby Grape
Mojo Music Guide Vl.2-Roots of Hip-Hop
Money Mark-Change Is Coming
Money Mark-Mark's Keyboard Repair
Money Mark-Push The Button
Bill Monroe-The Essential Bill Monroe
Moody Blues-In Search Of The Lost Chord
Mooney Suzuki-Alive & Amplified
Mooney Suzuki-Electric Sweat
Thurston Moore-Psychic Hearts
Van Morrison-Astral Weeks
Van Morrison-Filmore West 4-26-76
Van Morrison-His Band And The Street Choir
Van Morrison-Moondance
Van Morrison-St. Dominic’s Preview
Van Morrison-T.B. Sheets
Van Morrison-Tupelo Honey
Motown-16 #1 Hits
Mott the Hoople-Super Hits
Move-Great Move! The Best Of The Move
Music-The Music

N
Stevie Nicks-Best Of
Nine Inch Nails-Pretty Hate Machine
Nirvana-Nevermind
Nirvana-Unplugged
No Alternative-Compilation
Nuggets II-Compilation

O
Olivia Tremor Control-Dusk At Cubist Castle
Roy Orbison-Greatest Hits
Outkast-Outkast Greatest Hits

P
Palace Brothers-Days In The Wake
Pavement-Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain
Pavement-Crooked Rain L.A.’s Desert Origins Vol. 1 & 2
Pavement-Slanted & Enchanted
Pavement-Slanted & Enchanted Luxe & Reduxe
Pavement-Terror Twilight
Pavement-Wowee Zowee
Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers-Greatest Hits
Liz Phair-Exile In Guyville
Pink Floyd-Dark Side Of The Moon
Pink Floyd-A Momentary Lapse Of Reason
Pink Floyd-The Piper At The Gates Of Dawn
Pink Floyd-The Wall
Pink Floyd-Wish You Were Here
Police-Outlandos D'Amour
Iggy Pop-The Idiot
Iggy Pop-Lust For Life
Porno For Pyros-Good God’s Urge
Presidents Of The United States Of America-The Presidents...
Elvis Presley-Best of the Artist of the Century
Elvis Presley-The Sun Sessions
Pretty Things-Parachute
Pretty Things-S.F. Sorrow
Prince-1999
Prince-Purple Rain
Psychedelic Microdots of the 60's-Vl.1

Q
Queen-Greatest Hits

R
Raconteurs-Broken Boy Soldiers
Raconteurs-Consolers Of The Lonely
Radiohead-Amnesiac
Radiohead-The Bends
Radiohead-Hail To The Thief
Radiohead-In Rainbows
Radiohead-Kid A
Radiohead-My Iron Lung
Radiohead-OK Computer
Otis Redding-The Dock of the Bay
Otis Redding-Otis Blue/Otis Redding Sings Soul
Otis Redding-Remember Me
Otis Redding-Tell The Truth
Lou Reed-Berlin
Lou Reed-Transformer
R.E.M.-Automatic For The People
R.E.M.-Chronic Town
R.E.M.-Dead Letter Office
R.E.M.-Document
R.E.M.-Eponymous
R.E.M.-Green
R.E.M.-Life's Rich Pageant
R.E.M.-Monster
R.E.M.-Murmur
R.E.M.-Out Of Time
R.E.M.-Reconstruction Of The Fables
Sam Roberts-Chemical City
Sam Roberts-We Were Born In A Flame
Rolling Stones-Acoustic Motherfuckers
Rolling Stones-Aftermath
Rolling Stones-Beggars Banquet
Rolling Stones-Between The Buttons
Rolling Stones-Big Hits (High Tide and Green Grass)
Rolling Stones-Black and Blue
Rolling Stones-December’s Children
Rolling Stones-Emotional Rescue
Rolling Stones-Englands Newest Hitmakers
Rolling Stones-Exile On Main St.
Rolling Stones-Exile Outtakes
Rolling Stones-Flowers
Rolling Stones-It’s Only Rock & Roll
Rolling Stones-Jamming With Edward
Rolling Stones-Let It Bleed
Rolling Stones-Live In NYC
Rolling Stones-Now!
Rolling Stones-Out of Our Heads
Rolling Stones-Rewind
Rolling Stones-Some Girls
Rolling Stones-Sticky Fingers
Rolling Stones-Their Satanic Majesty’s Request
Rolling Stones-12 x 5
Rolling Stones-Xtra Stones
Rooney-Rooney
Roxy Music-For Your Pleasure
Roxy Music-Roxy Music

S
Santana-Greatest Hits
Boz Scaggs-Boz Scaggs
Scorpions-Best Of Rockers 'N' Ballads
Scotland Barr & The Slow Drags-Legionnaires Disease’
Seeds-The Seeds
Seeds-Web of Sound
Bob Seger-Back in 72'
Bob Seger-Beautiful Loser
Bob Seger-Brand New Morning
Bob Seger-Live Bullet
Bob Seger-Mongrel
Bob Seger-Night Moves
Bob Seger-Nine Tonight
Bob Seger-Noah
Bob Seger-Ramblin Gamblin Man
Bob Seger-Seven
Bob Seger-Smoking O.P.s
Bob Seger-Stranger In Town
Bob Seger-Xtra Seger
Michael Senish-Silent Tears Of The Melon
Silver Apples-Contact
Silver Apples-Silver Apples
Paul Simon-Negotiations and Love Songs 71-86
Simon & Garfunkel-Bookends
Simon & Garfunkel-Bridge Over Troubled Waters
Simon & Garfunkel-Greatest Hits
Simon & Garfunkel-Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, And Thyme
Simon & Garfunkel-Sounds Of Silence
Simon & Garfunkel-Wednesday Morning 3 A.M.
Simpsons-Songs In The Key Of Springfield
Singles-Soundtrack
Sly & The Family Stone-Anthology
Sly & The Family Stone-Fresh
Sly & The Family Stone-Life
Sly & The Family Stone-Stand!
Sly & The Family Stone-There's A Riot Goin' On
Small Faces-Ogdens Nut Gone Flake
Small Faces-The Ultimate Collection
Smashing Pumpkins-Lull
Smashing Pumpkins-Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness
Smashing Pumpkins-Siamese Dream
Elliott Smith-Basement Demo's II & More
Elliott Smith-Elliott Smith
Smokin Reggea-Compilation
Snoop Doggy Dogg-Doggystyle
Snoop Doggy Dogg-Tha Doggfather
Sonic Youth-A Thousand Leaves
Sonic Youth-Bad Moon Rising
Sonic Youth-Confusion is Sex/Kill Yr. Idols
Sonic Youth-Daydream Nation
Sonic Youth-Dirty
Sonic Youth-Dirty (Bonus Disc)
Sonic Youth-EVOL
Sonic Youth-Experimental Jet Set, Trash, And No Star
Sonic Youth-Goo
Sonic Youth-Made In The USA
Sonic Youth-Murray Street
Sonic Youth-NYC Ghosts and Flowers
Sonic Youth-Sister
Sonic Youth-Sonic Death
Sonic Youth-Sonic Nurse
Sonic Youth-Sonic Youth
Sonic Youth-SYR 2
Sonic Youth-SYR 4 Goodbye 20th Century
Sonic Youth-SYR 5
Sonic Youth-The Whitey Album
Sonic Youth-TV Shit
Sonic Youth-Washing Machine
Sounds Of The Seventies-1970
Sounds Of The Seventies-1971
Sounds Of The Seventies-1972
Sounds Of The Eighties-1985
Soundtrack Of Our Lives-Behind The Music
Soundtrack Of Our Lives-Origin
Soundtrack Of Our Lives-Welcome to the Infant Freebase
Specials-The Singles Collection
Alexander “Skip” Spence-Oar
Spirit-Spirit
Spirit-The Family That Plays Together
Spirit-Twelve Dreams of Dr. Sardonicus
Bruce Springsteen-Before the Fame
Bruce Springsteen-Born To Run
Bruce Springsteen-Darkness On The Edge Of Town
Bruce Springsteen-Greetings From Asbury Park, NJ
Bruce Springsteen-Hammersmith Odeon London '75
Bruce Springsteen-Nebraska
Bruce Springsteen-The River
Bruce Springsteen-The Wild, The Innocent, & The E Street Shuffle
Squeeze-Singles-45's and Under
Cat Stevens-Greatest Hits
Stew-The Naked Dutch Painter
Rod Stewart-Every Picture Tells A Story
Rod Stewart-Gasoline Alley
Rod Stewart-The Rod Stewart Album
Stephen Stills-Manassas
Stone Temple Pilots-Core
Stooges-The Stooges
Stooges-Fun House
Stooges-Raw Power
Stooges-Raw Power(Remix)
Izzy Stradlin-And The Ju Ju Hounds
Strokes-Is This It?
Strokes-Live At Alexandria Palace
Strokes-Room On Fire
Suburbia-Soundtrack
Supertramp-Classics Volume 9
Supremes-The Ultimate Collection
Sweet Sounds Of Detroit-Vl.1

T
Temptations-All Directions
Temptations-Xtra Temtations
Temptations-Psychedelic Shack
Tenacious D-Tenacious D
Tenacious D-Tenacious D Live
13th Floor Elevators-Easter Everywhere
13th Floor Elevators-The Psychedelic Sounds of The 13th Floor Elevators
Mayo Thompson-Corky's Debt To His Father
Thunderclap Newman-Hollywood Dreams
Tibetan Freedom Concert-Compilation
Tonto Savalas-Book of Tonto
Tonto Savalas-The Christmas Album
Tonto Savalas-Close The Kitchen
Tonto Savalas-Family Portrait
Tonto Savalas-The Heart of San Antonio
Tonto Savalas-Honey Mustard
Tonto Savalas-Live at PJ’s
Tonto Savalas-Manifesto
Tonto Savalas-Ruben, Where Are You?
Tonto Savalas-Some More Heavy Metal
Tonto Savalas-Tales From The Bakery
Peter Tosh-The Toughest
Traffic-Traffic
Traffic-Heaven Is In Your Mind
Traffic-John Barleycorn Must Die
Traffic-The Low Spark Of High Heeled Boys
Traffic-When the Eagle Flies
T. Rex-T. Rex
T. Rex-Beard of Stars
T. Rex-Electric Boogie
T. Rex-Electric Warrior(Bonus)
T. Rex-Greatest Hits 1972-1977 The A-Sides
T. Rex-Marc Bolan & T. Rex Greatest Hits
T. Rex-My People Were Fair And...
T. Rex-Prophets, Seers, & Sages
T. Rex-Slider
T. Rex-Unicorn
Tumbleweed-Weedseed
Ike & Tina Turner-Greatest Hits Vl.1

U
U2-Achtung Baby

V
Van Halen-Van Halen
Van Halen-Diver Down
Van Halen-For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge
Vanilla Fudge-The Best Of
Various Artists-Various Artists
Velvet Underground-The Best Of
Velvet Underground-Demo’s
Velvet Underground-Live
Velvet Underground-Loaded
Velvet Underground-Peel Slowly and See
Velvet Underground-Velvet Underground
Velvet Underground-Velvet Underground & Nico
Velvet Underground-White Light/White Heat
Violent Femmes-Add It Up (1981-1993)
Violent Femmes-Violent Femmes
Violent Femmes-Why Do Birds Sing?

W
War-War
Eric Burdon & War-The Black-Man's Burdon
Eric Burdon-Declares "WAR"
Weezer-Weezer(Blue)
Weezer-Weezer(Green)
Weezer-Maladroit
Weezer-Pinkerton
White Noise-Electric Storm
White Stripes-De Stijl
White Stripes-Elephant
White Stripes-Get Behind Me Satan
White Stripes-Icky Thump
White Stripes-White Blood Cells
White Stripes-The White Stripes
Who-A Quick One
Who-Fillmore East, April 6th, 1968
Who-Live at Leeds
Who-My Generation(Bonus)
Who-Quadrophenia
Who-Tommy
Who-The Who Sell Out
Who-Who's Next
Wilco-Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
Stevie Wonder-The Definitive Collection
Stevie Wonder-Songs In The Key Of Life, Vol. 1 & 2
Woodstock-The Best Of
Charlies Wright & The Watts 103rd Street Rhythm Band-Express Yourself
Charlies Wright & The Watts 103rd Street Rhythm Band-In The Jungle, Babe

Y
Yardbirds-BBC Sessions
Yardbirds-Roger The Engineer
Yes-Fragile
Neil Young-After The Gold Rush
Neil Young-Decade
Neil Young-Demo's
Neil Young-Everybody Knows This Nowhere
Neil Young-Harvest
Neil Young-Neil Young
Neil Young-On The Beach
Neil Young-Sleeps With Angels
Neil Young-Time Fades Away
Neil Young-Tonights The Night

Z
Frank Zappa-Apostrophe
Frank Zappa-Lumpy Gravy
Frank Zappa-Overnight Sensation
Frank Zappa-We're Only In It For The Money
Zwan-Mary Star Of The Sea

Rock Star Skin Mask

2008-06-25T02:12:00.006-04:00

In celebration of the soon to be released Tonto Savalas album, Rock Star Skin Mask, we here at the Tonto Savalas blog have decided to celebrate the "live fast, die young" lifestyle of musicians, with a list of musicians who didn't make it past 45. Enjoy and feel free to let us know if we missed anyone.

Love Tonto

G.G. Allin (56-93)
AC/DC-Bon Scott (46-80)
Johnny Ace (29-54)
Allman Brothers-Duane Allman (46-71), Berry Oakley (48-72), Lamar Williams (49-83)
Albert Ayler (36-70)
Badfinger-Pete Ham (47-75), Tom Evans (47-83)
Band-Richard Manuel (43-86)
Bar-Kays-Jimmy King (49-67), Ronnie Caldwell (48-67), Phalon Jones (48-67), Carl Cunningham (49-67)
Beach Boys-Dennis Wilson (44-83)
Beatles-John Lennon (40-80)
Jesse Belvin (32-60)
B-52's-Ricky Wilson (53-85)
Big Bopper (30-59)
Big Star-Chris Bell (51-78)
Blind Melon-Shannon Hoon (67-95)
Mike Bloomfield (43-81)
Blues Brothers-John Belushi (49-82)
Graham Bond (37-74)
Boogie Down Productions-DJ Scott La Rock (62-87)
James Booker (39-83)
Tim Buckley (47-75)
Johnny Burnette (34-64)
Canned Heat-Al Wilson (43-70), Bob Hite (45-81)
Karen Carpenter (50-83)
Harry Chapin (42-81)
Charlie Christian (16-42)
Patsy Cline (32-63)
Eddie Cochran (38-60)
Nat King Cole (19-65)
John Coltrane (26-67)
Sam Cooke (31-64)
Jim Croce (43-73)
Bobby Darin (36-73)
Dead Boys-Stiv Bators (56-90)
Sandy Denny (47-78)
Eric Dolphy (28-64)
Doors-Jim Morrison (43-71)
Nick Drake (48-74)
Drifters-Rudy Lewis (36-64), Walter Adams (?-53)
Eazy-E (64-95)
Free-Paul Kossoff (50-76)
Bobby Fuller (42-66)
Marvin Gaye (39-84)
Great White-Ty Longley (71-03)
Guitar Slim (26-59)
Tim Hardin (41-80)
Jeff Healey (66-08)
Jimi Hendrix (42-70)
Billie Holliday (15-59)
Buddy Holly (36-59)
Johnny Horton (25-60)
Ink Spots-Orville James (02-44)
INXS-Michael Hutchence (60-97)
Elmore James (18-63)
Blind Lemon Jefferson (93-29)
Little Willie John (37-68)
Robert Johnson (11-38)
Janis Joplin (43-70)
Joy Division-Ian Curtis (56-80)
Kentucky Colonels-Clarence White (44-73)
Freddie King (34-76)
Led Zeppelin-John Bonham (48-80)
Frankie Lymon (42-68)
Lynyrd Skynyrd-Ronnie Van Zant (49-77), Steve Gaines (49-77), Cassie Gaines (48-77), Allen Collins (52-90)
Mama Cass (41-74)
Bob Marley (45-81)
MC5-Fred "Sonic" Smith (49-94)
Clyde McPhatter (32-72)
Metallica-Cliff Burton (62-84)
Milli Vanilli-Rob Pilatus (65-98)
Minutemen-D. Boon (58-85)
Wes Montgomery (25-68)
Bennie Moten (94-35)
Mountain-Felix Pappalardi (39-83)
Rick Nelson (40-85)
Nirvana-Kurt Cobain (67-94)
Phil Ochs (40-76)
Pantera-Dimebag Darrell (66-04)
Charlie Parker (20-55)
Junior Parker (32-71)
Gram Parsons (46-73)
Elvis Presley (35-77)
Pretenders-James Honeyman-Scott (57-82), Pete Farndon (53-83)
Queen-Freddie Mercury (46-91)
Otis Redding (41-67)
Red Hot Chili Peppers-Hillel Slovak (62-88)
Jim Reeves (23-64)
Replacements-Bob Stinson (59-95)
Residents-Phil "Snakefinger" Lithman (49-87)
Randy Rhoads (56-82)
Jimmie Rodgers (97-33)
Rolling Stones-Brian Jones (42-69)
Run DMC-Jam Master Jay (65-02)
Sex Pistols-Sid Vicious (57-79)
Tupac Shakur (71-96)
Shep & The Limelights-James "Shep" Sheppard (35-70)
Small Faces-Steve Marrioutt (47-91)
Bessie Smith (94-37)
Elliott Smith (69-03)
Otis Spann (30-70)
Spirit-Randy California (51-97)
Stooges-Dave Alexander (47-75)
Supremes-Florence Ballard (43-76)
Temptations-Paul Williams (39-73)
Thin Lizzy-Phil Lynott (49-86)
Thunderclap Newman-Jimmy McCulloch (53-79)
Johnny Thunders (52-91)
Peter Tosh (44-87)
Traffic-Chris Wood (44-83), Rick Grech (46-90)
T. Rex-Marc Bolan (47-77), Steve Peregrine Took (49-80), Steve Currie (47-81)
Ritchie Valens (41-59)
Stevie Ray Vaughan (54-90)
Gene Vincent (35-71)
Fats Waller (04-43)
Dinah Washington (24-63)
Who-Keith Moon (47-78)
Hank Williams (23-53)
Larry Williams (35-80)
Sonny Boy Williamson (14-48)
Chuck Willis (28-58)
Yardbirds-Keith Relf (43-76)
Neil Young and Crazy Horse-Danny Whitten (43-72)

www.says-it.com

2007-05-06T11:14:00.000-04:00

This is a great site for making fake records, cassettes, church signs, whatever.

The Scenic Route

2007-04-23T01:41:00.000-04:00

The Buddha All-Stars released their 7th album, "The Scenic Route", on April 21st, 2007. New albums are expected to be released soon by Tonto Savalas and Buddha Savalas.

A Lot Of Rumors Floating About

2007-02-14T15:32:00.000-05:00

There are a lot of rumors floating through the music industry that The Buddha All- Stars are busy recording their first new album in several years. Are these rumors true????? Could be.

All Hail Skeletor!

2006-10-14T01:18:00.000-04:00

Congratulations Jeff and Jackie

"Be advised, hemorrhoid cream not for the face"

2006-10-07T00:52:00.000-04:00

GO TIGERS!

2006-10-03T19:30:00.000-04:00

Just wanted to say GO TIGERS!
Kick some Yankee ass.

stupendous!!!

2006-08-03T22:49:00.000-04:00

7/29 stupendous!!!
stupendous!!!

JULY 29th, Be There Or Be Square

2006-07-10T18:50:00.000-04:00

Okay the Day is July 29th, the time is 2:00 P.M. until we end. The members of Tonto/Buddha/T.A.R./Orea Spider/Children of The Mirror/ and all other affilated bands will gather at the home of our gracious benefactor Bosco. Jeff has requested that we arrange our efforts on who's bringing what instruments and equipement, so drop him an email or leave a comment on this blog letting him know what you plan on bringing. Any other problems, questions, or concerns should be forwarded to Mic...just kidding just let me know if anybody needs anything.

Poop

2006-07-09T13:25:00.000-04:00

I found this story a while ago, and I thought you may find it interesting.

PRAGUE, Czech Republic - A Czech tractor driver died under eight tons of manure in a bizarre accident that has baffled his employers, local media reported.

The 34-year old man, identified only as Martin T., suffocated after the load fell on him while he was dumping it in a field near the western Czech city of Karlovy Vary, news Web Site www.novinky.cz reported on Sunday. “It absolutely beats me how this could happen,” said Vladimir Erps, chief of the company employing the victim.

“The truck is operated from the tractor cabin, using hydraulics. There was nothing for him to do under the truck, but it’s tough to blame him now that he is dead,” the news site quoted him as saying.

Police are investigating the death as a work-related accident.

Calling All Members Of Tonto Savalas, Buddha All-Star, T.A.R., Oreo Spider, and all other affiliated bands

2006-07-01T12:29:00.000-04:00

The gods have called down from on high and informed me that on Saturday July 22nd at 2:00 P.M. at Casa Bosco we shall resume our attempts to take over the world through our music. It's jam time bitches. The Children of the Mirror and the Monster Truck will gather, so clear your calender, write some lyrics, write some music, and be there or be square.

Ummm.....Bosco, Can we jam at your place on the 22nd of July?

The Monster Mash, or the scariest songs in the world.

2006-06-15T02:10:00.000-04:00

So I was looking the other day and noticed that it's been over 6 months since I (TONTO SAVALAS) have posted anything on this blog, and it's been over 12 years since I posted anything relevant.

So I decided to do some extensive polling and research to find the "5 SCARIEST SONGS EVER!!!", my final method for determining the scary factor used voting, online research, and playing the music in a pitch black room at the stroke of midnight and seeing if it left me crying on the floor in the fetal position, so after months of grueling work here they are in no particular order:

Revolution #9 by the Beatles
Season Of The Witch by Vanilla Fudge
Something In The Way/Secret Song by Nirvana
Strawberry Fields Forever by the Beatles
Any song by the Silver Apples

So those are the "5 SCARIEST SONGS EVER!!!"
You may notice that there are no Tonto Savalas or Buddha All-Stars songs included in the list, I felt that it would be unfair to include our songs, but you may find it interesting to know that if included they would have taken up 16 of the 20 SCARIEST SONGS EVER!!!

Hello From Archerland

2006-03-26T12:02:00.000-05:00

I just thought I would say Hi to everyone. So Hi.

Merry Christmas

2005-12-23T12:19:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of you from J.A. May your Kraken be released.

XXX-mas

2005-12-08T21:54:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to give you all a little of the holiday spirit. Go listen to the Christmas Album on dmusic.com. I gots about a million things that I want to write about for all of u's, but I'm really much to lazy to do it, so go listen to the Christmas Album in the meantime. Merry Christmas!!!

Happy Thanksgiving

2005-11-23T11:58:00.000-05:00

I would just like to say on behalf of the whole Tonto Savalas/Buddha All-Stars Organization, Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. Hope your turkey treats you right.

A Great Big Howdy to the World

2005-09-19T21:11:00.000-04:00

No links, no updates and no announcements large or small. I'm just sitting here enjoying the dulcet, yet rocking tones of Olivia Tremor Control, having a smoke and drinking my (product placement alert) Dr. Pepper. Earlier, I took a walk up to the store to get the aforementioned soda. On my way into the store, I see this guy who looks like a very old Robert Duvall mumbling to himself and doing some crazy dance as he gets out of his car. As I pass by him, he says, "Goddamn. Stupid! Motherfucker."

What's the point of all this, you might ask yourself. Well, the point is this: there's not many good summer nights left. So, if you've been meaning to take a walk, better do it soon.

This is Alan Almond and you've been listening to Pillow Talk.

09-07-05-The Book of Tonto

2005-09-07T00:44:00.000-04:00

Scott's side of the Book of Tonto is now up on DMusic, check it out. This is the final side of Book of Tonto, it has taken about 6 months for me to post all of it, feel free to leave a comment with your next album pick.

The Grande Ballroom

2005-08-23T09:53:00.000-04:00

Hey everyone. I thought I would post a link here about the now abandoned Grande Ballroom in Detroit. Back in the 1960's and 70's the Grande was one of the premier concert venues in Detroit. Among the artists who appeared there were The Who, Led Zeppelin, Cream, Frank Zappa and Pink Floyd. I got a chance last winter to visit the Grande and I got some pretty cool pictures. Check out the Grande site here.

"Effector 13" Effects Pedals

2005-07-16T13:52:00.000-04:00

Hey Peoples, I just thought I would do my part to end the recent lull in posting activity here on the blog page by posting the link to a cool effects pedal manufacturer's website - http://effector13.com/. They make some really cool effects and the site has sound samples as well that you can check out. I almost feel as if I am plugging them but I'm really not. I just couldn't think of anything else to post unless you all wanted to hear about my terrible sunburn and root canal problems.

Funky Tummy

2005-07-05T22:44:00.000-04:00

Greetings and salutations,
In our continuing series of songs being reviewed on GarageBand.com, we have made our way through the review cycle of "Funky Tummy" here is all the info about the song and the reviews that it received. Reviewers are also able to give extra credit to certain elements of a song, a list of the extra credit awards will be shown after all the reviews. See you next time with, "My Face(In The Beaver)".

Funky Tummy(4:38)

Score 2.4 out of 5.0
#82 of 90 in Current Comedy
#378 of 452 in All-Time Comedy

History
This song appears on the hit Buddha All-Stars album, Wall of Sound. Scott sings and plays keys, Mick plays guitar and percussion. This song is about a guy I used to work with at the video store. We'll call him J. There was this cute 18-20 year old girl who would come in all the time and flirt with him. One day she came in with a belly shirt on and that's when we noticed the Funky Tummy. He kinda tried blowing her off after that, but the thing was she didn't want to leave him alone. So I wrote this song about their relationship.

Lyrics
I got a lady, who's after me
Not really pretty, but she ain't ugly
She always comes to see me, never wants to leave
I think I'd do her, but she's got a funky tummy

Funky Tummy
The girl scares the hell out of me
Funky Tummy
She justs wants to screw till a quarter to three
Funky Tummy
You want me

She sent out a letter, came after me
I leaped in the car, put in the key
Smashed in the window, threw her fists at me

Finally I got away from the funky tummy
ahhh
ahhhh

Funky Tummy I won't take you to bed
Funky Tummy don't stick that knife in my head
Funky Tummy please don't make me dead

She came after me, every day and night
It came to the point, to fight or take flight
So we had a meeting, I was filled with fright
After that she became my regular Saturday night

Funky Tummy the sight of your stomach makes me want to vomit
Funky Tummy you have entangled me in your funky shit
Funky Tummy oaghosaigoiangoisdng
Funky Tummy, Funky, Funky Tummy iihiihiaiaii

Funky Tummy, Funky Tummy, Funky Tummy
She's got a funky tummy
Bitch she got a funky tummy

Reviews
is that in tune?
Not that it has to be or anything. I guess the out of tune thing is part of the song, goes well with the vocals, cause they are also off key. The vocals seem muffled. Might want to add some highend in the eq. woah, the vocals just got loud for a min, also normalize. It's it very lucky for you that the song before this was the worst song i've ever heard. The ending gave you an extra point for sounding like the pod race in star wars.
- Aukey from Los Angeles, California on 20Jun2005

Horrible
wasn't funny at all. THey should just give up. Because the production sucked. The lyrics sucked. The music sucked. The singing sucked.It just made me mad.
- HendrixBlink182 from Davenport, Iowa on 19Jun2005

when does?
the song never starts and your voice is really bad. This song is just irritating and not funny. I don't know what it's about cause i can't hear the lyrics.
- speakeazy from Unspecified on 18Jun2005

what the..
It'd be my guess that the key to a good comedy song would be to make sure that the words are heard. Not here. Maybe got 10 words total clearly. Everything was off key and time, and not in a funny way. This IS a joke, but not for the right reasons.
- daveskull from Adelaide, South Australia, Australia on 18Jun2005

The devil has a banjo and its out of tune.
Tune in fellas but I think you will tell me it is the way god intended. They are playing into a small 4 track recorder maybe. Excellent, truly excellent it ounds like the velvet underground but cooler. Lou Reed would donate all his worldy wealth to sound as good as these robots. What a tune! I love things that sound like Lou Reed and The Velvets. They changed the world but didnt have a guitar tuner!
- vontrapp from Abergele, Conwy, United Kingdom on 18Jun2005

Production is lacking
Production is lacking. I cannot understand the lyrics. Band is too loose. Vocals are not very good. Poor mix. Can't find any comedy here.
- ILoveEggsNToast from A City Dump In, Texas on 17Jun2005

sounds like a dying giraffe taking a poop and..
horrible vocals, the guitars get annoying, can't understand the vocals at all. your drummer is either retarded or having a seizure back there, because he's just having a hitting frenzy. This makes me wanna shit
- Cinos from Murray, Kentucky on 15Jun2005

out of tune?
this is pretty crappy. the vocals are hurtin. if it is comedy it is pretty funny
- Braintoggle33 from Gardner, Massachusetts on 15Jun2005

Sounds like the who
in the beginning anyway. I can't make out the humor in the song as the lyrics are unintelligible. They need to be recorded better and enunciated clearly. The guitars are out of tune with the bass.
- Prometheus_Ex from San Clemente, California on 15Jun2005

Noncomformity
Out of key and bad. No musicality. Not much creativity. Not even punk creativity which does not ask much. Straighten up boys and take the hair out of your eyes and look at me. "Conform"
You may go to your room now.
- BreezyVibe from Charlotte, North Carolina on 14Jun2005

nope
the guitars were good.. i like the tunnel effect on the track.. very distorted playing, sounded good,but didnt seem to change pace much.. the singer was an ok singer, but could use some work on keeping his mouth near the mic so he didnt fade out so much.. as far as being a comedy song,i cant really call this funny because i couldnt understand what was being said through most of it
- violentflesh from Augusta, Maine on 14Jun2005

Comedy? No
Musically this has an early Ween feel. A little quite. I would definately work on your recording skills...and your singing skills. I have no idea what you are singing about, nor do I care at this point. Sorry, I think arrangement wise it's alright but everything else needs some polishing. Why is this in comedy?
- Gilliad from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada on 14Jun2005

sonic youth meets hangover
i don't consider this comedy as much as just crazy. not that its not cool, i'm just not laughing-or even smiling. however, i do really like the raw feel of the mix while retaining instrument clarity. this could be cool live. and what the hell happened at about 3:50 or so? that was killer. i'd like to know what that sound is and how you got it. nice twist.
- saint_paul_slim from Minneapolis, Minnesota on 14Jun2005

what
was that it was in the comedy and im waiting to laugh that was awful try again somewhere else
- rickdavisrrt from Indian Harbor Be, Florida on 14Jun2005

?
i couldnt understand a word u said. the guitar part coveered it up. but when i could hear u u were really off key. not very funny.
- nateisgreat2308 from Abilene, Texas on 14Jun2005

Yeah this is funny all right
I think the guitar out of tune is supposed to add to the hilariousness, but im not sure. cant really understand what is going on. There is absolutely no reason to this song. ouch
- johnboy0521 from Apopka, Florida on 14Jun2005

Fuck this!
I chose variety show... and what I got was a comedy pair, and this was the first of the two.
First I didn't notice that it's was comedy; and I thought it was total crap... who the hell submit such a song for open critisism. When I realised it was just for fun... it didn't get funny. I don't see the humor in this shit is... you play crappy, so fucking crappy and boring, where's the fun in that? Crappy could be fun if you played something wicked or what ever. This is totally unfun... maybe the lyrics could be funny, but who makes an effort to listen to the lyrics when the music screams; "Boring!" I don't get it, maybe it is funny in your 4th grade class.
- Dangerous_kalle from Bolln�s, Sweden on 14Jun2005

???
i really dont know what to think of this song, its in the comedy genre so i assume the lyrics are supposed to be funny but i cant really understand them very well so i dont know if they are or not, but, however, the way the guy is singing is hilarious, get a better recording and dont stop the rock
- Jeff_Brown from Cuba, New York on 14Jun2005

oh my god
if funny is painstakingly bad, then you win. I couldn't even hear or understand any of the lyrics.
- samhill2 from Cornwall, Ontario, Canada on 14Jun2005

review
goodness. well, it wasn't without charm. I liked the stab at dada music, willy-nilly art for arts sake. It was nice to listen to once to experience the emotion and sonic experimentation of the song. however, I wouldn't play this one constantly, it is over my head and I do believe my mind would melt. I couldn't understand what was being said, so ill just pretend the singer was singing about puppies, tulips, and ballet dancing. all of which im sure you enjoy.
- argylefist from Tinkertown, Kentucky on 14Jun2005

damn...
interesting. couldnt understand a damn thing. there is this thing called a tuner....nevermind. but interesting.
- johnnyfaber from Unspecified on 14Jun2005

my computer speakers are terrible
i had to turn up my computer speakers in order to hear this song (and they're always turned fairly high up). i don't know where it was recorded, but don't ever go there again. even after the volume boost, i still couldn't hear/understand a majority of this song. periodically everything would get loud enough to know that there were vocals, but they were so muddy i have to wonder whether or not they were complete gibberish. i'm hoping that they were. the music was sloppy and uninteresting and i've already addressed the vocals. perhaps after some practice and a better recording i could write a review that addressed more specifics in the song, but as of now, this is all i've got.
- Johnny3Legs from Ducktown, Virginia on 14Jun2005

Admirably Rough But Hard To Listen To
It's a great reminder that playing music can be fun even if you absolutely no idea what you're doing. Any suggestions here would probably be useless and I won't make any unwanted comments that hint that you need to "conform" to some kind of radio standard. It sounds like you're having fun which is way more important then anything someone here might have to say. I actually am really interested in finding out what other people have to say about this.
- milsean from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania on 14Jun2005

Stop
Please, please, please there is nothing funny about playing a guitar that far out of tune. I had to stop the song at 1:33 seconds.
- eduby from Stamford, Connecticut on 14Jun2005

Headline!
The intro could a been a little shorter. Definitly some timing issues. Keep working on your skills. The mix in the vocals could've been better. Just keep at it and it'll get better.
- etribe from Amber, Oklahoma on 14Jun2005

oh welll
this was holy moly roly poly well i dont know but flow the go home chicken well ok im gone
- onpoint1 from Old Bridge, New Jersey on 14Jun2005

what in hell is this
Ok this is more a heavy, metal bash the christ out of louise type medley. Holy moley...I don't see the humor in this at all except maybe the tune itself is a joke. Don't know about this one.
- RiggyGiggy from Na, Alberta, Canada on 14Jun2005

santana
The vokal work on this song is just awsome, you should be right next to whitney houston and celine dion. you rock, and those guitars, is it carlos santana?
- Knutsen from Tananger, Norway on 14Jun2005

Points for strangeness though.
This song kinda rocks. Occasionally it finds the groove. At least in the beginning, I was diggin' it. When the voice came in is when I started going "Ehhh...." What up with the vocals. I won't complain about not being able to understand them (I rarely can on these things). However, they're loud and quiet and in parts. Because this is a comedy song, I'm thinking (or maybe hoping) some of the defaults of the song were done on purpose. The humor is lost on me. Weirdness can be funny and I could see this maybe being funny live (anti-rock) but just listening to myself, it's not a great listen.
- gargiulov from San Francisco, California on 14Jun2005

get rid of the boring intro
get rid of the boring intro, its like a minute long and isnt funny? seems pointless, the vocals are really fuzzy and hard to hear in the mix as well so i cant even tell if they are funny. the mix is horrible, the vocals go from not being able to hear them, to extremely loud ,sour and out of place. this song isnt funny. the only funny part is that someone actually wasted time making this.
- riznich from Manitowoc, Wisconsin on 14Jun2005

sound quality is horrid
intro was too long then when singer came on was the worst cat crying ive heard in my time. Quality is bad and so is this song
- Shortyo from Lansdowne, Pennsylvania on 13Jun2005

Review
Soory but the mix is so bad I can't hear the garbled funny lyrics. and your ending is just to weird.
- LarDog011665 from Long Beach, California on 13Jun2005

Extra Credit Awards
Stupidest Song Ever-5
Originality-3
Guitars-3
Male Vocals-2
Drums-2
Production-1
Bass-1
Lyrics-1
Most Rocking Track-1
Smoochiest Love Song-1

Funky Tummy was awarded Track of the Day in Comedy on 6-16-05. It was also awarded Stupidest Song and Best Guitars in Comedy for the week of 6-20-05.

Crackhead Stew

2005-07-05T21:45:00.000-04:00

Hey mother f'ers,
In our continuing blah blah blah, this time on GarageBand we decided to make a new song, or more accurately we reconfigured a few old songs. I made up a list of our songs that were shorter than two minutes, separated it by singer and sent it out to Rob, Jeff, and Mick, and asked them to pick one of their own songs. Rob picked Hong Kong Monkey, Jeff picked Song for the Working Girl, Mick picked So High, and I picked Mr. Potatoehead. Then I picked some bits to go before and after the songs, Rob mixed it all together, and whammo you got Crackhead Stew. It was only our second of about 12 songs to get Track of the Day in Experimental Rock. So sit back and read more about the song and what people thought of it. See you next time with, "Funky Tummy".

Crackhead Stew(6:25)

Score 3.0 out of 5.0
#116 of 185 in Current Experimental Rock
#747 of 1505 in All-Time Experimental Rock

History
Well this is going to be tricky, we'll do this one piece at a time.
The Greatest Show-this is all Mick, it is track 2 on the Buddha album Hello, it lasts about 12 seconds.
Mr. Potatoehead-Mick plays the awesome key track on this, Scott sings and does the other noise, it goes to about the 1:45 mark, and originally appeared on the Tonto album Close the Kitchen.
Time and Space-this is a cut from Reefer Madness, it appears on the Buddha album Drowning Into Darkness, it lasts until 1:53.
Song for the Working Girl-Jeff singing and playing guitar, with Mick playing Keys, and Scott providing some background woooo's, it appeared on Tonto's Ruben, Where Are You? album, it lasts until 3:17.
*uck You-another track from the Buddha album Hello, this features Jeff, Scott, and Mick, it lasts until 3:35.
Hong Kong Monkey-appears on the Buddha album Tripping Through Oblivion (Disc 3), Rob sings, Mick plays Keys, Scott plays flute, it lasts until 4:27.
Bakin Like Betty Crocker-Scott talking from the Buddha album Tripping Through Oblivion (Disc 1), it lasts until 4:34.
So High-this is from the Tonto album Manifesto, Mick sings and plays guitar?, Jeff plays bass, it goes until 6:18.
Establishment-this is from the Buddha album Wall of Sound, Scott talking, it lasts until 6:25 or the end depending on how you want to look at it.

Lyrics
Yeah Rob (robarmor@hotmail.com) said that he was going to write them, send him an email reminding him.

Reviews
bad
the sound was bouncing around from right to left back and forth and i couldnt concentrate and then there was this angry talking with some organ sound int he bak, it was dreadful. this really isnt a song in the sense there is not a note sung, and i have no idea what the hell yer talking about or saying. this was really a disgusting display, bad.
- z0180 from Rochester, New York on 21Jun2005

Funny Intro
Too muffled for my taste, I think the beginning would be a lot better if you could differinciate between the instruments. Cool breakdown with the guitars at 1;40. Interesting!
- PettyMusic from Northwest, Florida on 20Jun2005

go intro
I have no idea what the intro was but its cool. This is sounding more like techno than it is rock, could be that I cant distinguish the intruments well...the recording is dreadfull. Kinda sounds like bad hip hop. I like the organ or whatever though. Try not to be so abrasive with the vocals and get a better recording.
- Volta_Minor from Fort Collins, Colorado on 19Jun2005

Where do the ears go?
Zappatas. I would maybe stand a little back from the mic next time. Lay off the beer for a while. Mick Jagger madness in mid red hot chilli fest eating tequila worm. Keep watchin the detectives tho.
- SnrBoaby from Encinadda, Catalunia, Spain on 18Jun2005

1000 f**ks
Intro starts of with a very angry guy shouting, and a musician playing with the pan-effect. The melody is very aggressive, sounds a bit like Atari teenage riot (although you need a crazy 1000bpm beat). Weird lyrics though. Then at about 2:00 something happens. A singer song-writer singing a bit false starts singing about panties. this goes on for about 1:30. It stops and a voice starts speaking and a flute freaks out in the foreground. It sounds like someone has pressed play on tape, at a party where everybody's f*cked up on drugs. I'm not really convinced
- danhen from Odense, Fyn, Denmark on 17Jun2005

Way off focus
Interesting indeed. There is definitely an element of hip-hop here, however I do not understand where the song is heading. Despite my fascination with the originality I get the impression that the awkwardness of the song is simple an excuse for the song to be labelled experimental. The lyrics are a bit lousy as are the vocals. To be honest, this song lacks puspose, focus, is ultimately distracting. I.m not sure if I would really call this music.
- Post_Pleasure from Sydney, New South Wales, Australia on 17Jun2005

what in the he....
The term 'Experimental Rock' obviously draws all sorts of strange concepts, but I can imagine few reviewers going to this category and actually allowing themselves to be subjected to the entirety of this piece. Fortunately, I'm a bit of a masochist. The first segment involved an vastly overdriven barrage of tonal excess. This was broken, uneasily, by a strangely weak section with a gtr and flute that were out of tune with each other, and a vocalist who may have been sincere, but was hopelessly outmatched by the instruments. The next section was dedicated to one Hong Kong Monkey. Long a monkey afficianado, I listened with rapt attention, and was once again disappointed. The final segment was just more of the same. These sections were linked by snatches of 'found' dialogue which only served to re-enforce the opinion that the artist(s) may be more familiar with alternative medications than their parents probably would like. The overall effect is that of a drug-induced attempt at a mock rock opera that needs more polish than Johnson Wax can provide. Please be aware that I am practicing inordinate restraint at having my time wasted like this. If this was an actual sincere attempt, I apologize for my abrasiveness, but the whole idea needs to be refined, re-recorded and put into a context that at least a segment of the audience might be able to relat to, otherwise, you're just committing musical masturbation.
- srm1138 from Wichita Falls, Texas on 16Jun2005

I put your song on
People talking at the beggining...sounds lie it was from a movie or something...I like the distortion on the vocals...and the sund fx..the paaning effects are good..."i put your shoes on"....cool man, cool...The lyrics are hilarious...id consider putting this in the comedy section...lmao...POTATOHEAD....HA. I like the part where he says marijuana...then the song just tottaly changes...ah this is great, 5 out of 5....lol...I truly love it...funny as hell too!
- nosemint from Glen Rock, Pennsylvania on 16Jun2005

Is this Mr T playing the video game zelda
I think the Mr T with rabies voice needs to go and stop playing zelda on crack. Now this is a complete twist after the spawn of satan now we have a whiny cowboy who needs to check if he has schizoprhenia. This is terrifying I cannot express myself enough to say how
much this is a waste of music.
- tornadoofpetals from Glen Riddle Lima, Pennsylvania on 15Jun2005

On/Off/On/Off. Still - No Further Forward
Ping-ponging between one ear and another before some scuzzy faux-scary circus clown on the keyboard tries to put me off reviewing it beyond the obligatory 90-second mark. Yeah, yeah I'll pull your teeth out you, you, you...Oh, there's the tune. Nice and lo-fi, probably recorded on some scrubber's back doorstep, surrounded by cats. Oh, lordy. Cack samples again. How will you try my patience? Or is the tune coming back? Hmm? There he is! bass player as well this time. Good bass riff, guitar likewise. Vocalist could do with a certain something...kick up the arse maybe. "Giving a finger to the establishment" - there is nothing so passe as the avant-garde, mate.
- wmerrowsmith from Oxford, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom on 14Jun2005

Glasses
Right off the bat, the mixx sounds verry horrid. The "vocals" sound very hot in the mix and are incoherent. The bass is too overpowering and clips in a few areas, giving back a distorted feel. All the tracks sound out of sync with each other and it resembles one giant mess. Needs severe work.
- Karma_Diver from Tallahassee, Florida on 14Jun2005

Where'd you get these samples?
I like the heavy throbbing distortion in the intro. The second part is less exciting. The strumming guitar is annoying and the lyrics aren't funny enough to carry it. This song is so schizophrenic I'm having trouble reviewing it. As soon as I complete a sentence the song has completely changed. That's always a good thing. Again the singing part at the end, isn't enough to carry the song for as long as it lasts. Maybe you could cut these parts shorter. Overall I like the Mothers of INvention/ Stereopathic Soul Manure feel to it.
- UnnecessaryEvil from Los Angeles, California, Antarctica on 14Jun2005

Shotgun Shack Partytime
"Potatoe headed Bobby was a friend of mine". Truly bizarre and hilarious. Quite satisfactory in the laughter department. The little known WWF sponsor of a child's toy. The music here was very anally expulsive, very free and flowing. Definitely inspired by the influences of some kind of opiate sandwiched between some sort of other narcotic then ingested somehow. I kept hoping you'd get back to potatoe-headed Bobby. I couldn't tell if you were making fun of stoners or agrandizing them. Maybe it could be a little clearer what you're going for. Over-all, I enjoyed the experimentation. The intonation was obviously deliberate and worked well on the peice of canvas that this was. Better recordings of SOME of the parts might be useful in tempering this one. -Marshmallow Man
- splendorlex from Chicago, Illinois on 13Jun2005

Did you really intend for people to hear this..
Sounds like a recording off the board at a live show. Major distortion, uneven mix. Funny lyrics however. Total change at 2 minutes....Again, major distortion and uneven mix, with funny lyrics. Ok, another change around 3 minutes.(insert above comments here)
- W_S_Bridge from Hendersonville, North Carolina on 13Jun2005

arty
i get the instant feeling that yall listen to buckethead. cool lyrics. interesting feel, wuold be perfect as part of a piece of performance art. really dig the vibe.
- mu5ik16 from Los Angeles, California on 13Jun2005

Funny, bizarre
Impressions at the beginning of this song: It seems like quite a funny idea but how can it possibly go on for 6:25? Of course, the answer came around 1:45 when it changed to an almost completely different song. It's like we have a mini-operetta here. I like the experimental form--all of the amusing lyrics have their effect and the sections are short enough to not wear out their welcome. Of course, this isn't the kind of music I'd listen to multiple times. It has that air of novelty music. That being said, it was very amusing to hear this once and I think you'd be very entertaining live. The sound quality is awful, but that almost lends to the charm. You made me laugh.
- DrunkenChopin from Buffalo, New York on 13Jun2005

Truly bizarre
This is genuinely strange, like six minutes of various sounds and conversations and silences and finally a bit of a song thrown in there. It is not remotely enjoybable, but it is vaguely intriguing at times. Feels like the sound of snippets taken from a camcorder tape that's been repeatedly recorded over to leave fagments of what was there before.
- VascoJ from Dublin, Ireland on 13Jun2005

Lengthy Intro
The mix is fair to partly cloudy. Not sure about the lyrics kinda sounds creepy. This seems like a very experimental piece. Not sure what is trying to be accomplished here. Personally the piece to me is not artistic it's garbage. Goood luck.
- monkeyplaydrums from Sheridan, Wyoming on 12Jun2005

Intro was cool
The intro was cool, even though I don't know what it was. I thought the vocals, production, and arragnment were bold, original, cool...I liked it.
- FUNCH from Everytown, New Jersey on 12Jun2005

howdy
this is funny. potato head. I like this - very effective. The marijuana thing is a mistake. This needs to end with the last potato head at 1:35 or so... If it had ended there, I would have given this a 5. Instead, you guys force upon me a whole bunch of mistakes starting with the obvious and uninteresting marijuana thing. The profanity just feels like "hey look at us we're saying dirty words." In the current media landscape, you have to be very careful about the use of profanity. Because you run the risk of being dismissed as stupid. The fly so high part of the song? Just terrible. you guys must be really young. 19? 20? I'll prolly join your fan list. I'm interested in seeing how y'all develop. You obviously have some good instincts. But you can't make so many mistakes.
- mrstrauss from Temple City, California on 12Jun2005

cool
this is wierd but different so its ok potato head not too much to say about this tho except to keep saying potato head
- JoeWitch from Ft Lauderdale, Florida on 11Jun2005

screaming lord beefheart
First 2:00 were great what with the ? and the Mysterians keyboard action and the totally psychotic vocals. The next part was sort of early Flaming Lip type action. Didn't really like the last part -seemed a little too RHCP or something. Interesting mix of styles though. A fairly disturbing number which I'm pretty sure is the intention here - so an excellent job overall.
- harrysson from Hagerstown, Maryland on 11Jun2005

funny. very funny.
Well, the intro is kind of interesting. Crazily panning shouting and stuff. Then a creepy keyboard riff comes in, and then some strange vocals come in about...being a Mr. Potatohead doll? What the hell? I pull your legs off, I pull your eyes. This is by far the stupidest song I thing I've ever heard. But I love it! It's pure chaos and noise! POTATOHEAD! Then around 1:45, the yelling about potatohead stops, and then...what? Strummed acoustic guitar chords? That's definitely a mood shift. Then you start singing about something that seems vaguely sexual...wait, is this about looking at a girl changing through her window? Man, that's just a little bit creepy. But it's funny, especially over the nice ballad-like guitar riff. Then it stops and you here the work fuck over and over. This is quite possibly one of the most unpredictable songs. Then a bunch of random squeaking comes in and starts talking about humping a monkey? THere hand's too big? Wow...this is really funny. Usually, I would hate this and tell you to quit being so immature. Then it goes into a riff that reminds me of the red hot chili peppers, only not quite as good. I'm really not sure what to say about this. Is it genius? Or is it just simply retarded. I really can't tell. All I know is that I like the potatohead part...
- applesandvodka from Misplaced Commas, Are Fun on 11Jun2005

Extra Credit Awards
Originality-5
Stupidest Song Ever-4
Lyrics-3
Keys-2
Bass-1
Mood-1
Male Vocals-1
Programming-1

Crackhead Stew was awarded Track of the Day in Experimental Rock on 6-23-05.

Britney Spears NAKED!!!

2005-06-30T20:44:00.000-04:00

Who wants a new album up on Dmusic? I do! I do! So what are we going to do about it? Put your choice in the comments, first post wins!

Now on to a more serious note, Britney Spears will not be appearing naked on this site, but if you really want to see her naked you can go here. Now that I have your attention, I would like to direct you to the right hand side of this page, below the links and above the first picture box. You will notice and may have already heard, an MP3 player sitting there. It contains all of our songs that have been posted on GarageBand, along with the most recent Tonto Savalas album, Ruben, Where Are You?, if you don't feel like hearing it play, press pause, if you want to change the song, press menu. Pretty simple stuff, just thought I'd formally let you all know about it. God Speed.

Manifesto Pt. 2

2005-06-27T01:02:00.000-04:00

Okay considering nothing else is being done in the Tonto/Buddha universe, I thought that I would post the second half of Manifesto on Dmusic. So click here if you wanna listen or click here if you want to go to the site, read some beautiful words by Jeffrey A, and download the songs so that you can listen to them anytime that you want to. Have fun.

On This Day in Tonto History

2005-06-23T14:45:00.000-04:00

For the first time since Tonto Savalas and the Buddha All-Stars began releasing music on Garageband, there are no songs currently active in the charts. Now, go back to your lives.

Squirrel Cat

2005-06-20T20:58:00.000-04:00

Hiddy-Ho,
In our continuing series of songs being reviewed on GarageBand.com, we have made our way through the review cycle of "Squirrel Cat" here is all the info about the song and the reviews that it received. Reviewers are also able to give extra credit to certain elements of a song, a list of the extra credit awards will be shown after all the reviews. See you next time with, "Crackhead Stew".

Squirrel Cat(2:31)

Score 2.9 out of 5.0
#131 of 195 in Current Experimental Rock
#826 of 1483 in All-Time Experimental Rock

History
One day we were headed up north to a camper. The ride was long and arduous, so much was needed. As the day turned to dusk a ferocious beast jumped into the road and blocked our path. He demanded a toll be payed for crossing into his territory. So we took him to the camper and paid him the only way we could, with this song. Mic sings backup, Scott sings lead and plays the guitars, and the Squirrel Cat lent some backing vocals. This is the third song on the Buddha All-Stars landmark first album, Wall of Sound.

Lyrics
There's a Squirrel Cat, now my bowl is getting flat
I saw him on the road
At first I thought he was a toad
My headlights were in his face
But he was winning the race

Squirrel Cat don't bite me
Squirrel Cat don't fight me
I just wanna be your friend
I just wanna be your friend
Squirrel Cat don't bite me
Squirrel Cat don't fight me
I just wanna be your friend
I just wanna be your friend

Squirrel Cat in the road, lookin at me like a toad
Squirrel Cat in the road, lookin at me like a toad
Squirrel Cat but he was winning, he was winning
Headlights were in his face

Squirrel Cat don't bite me
Squirrel Cat don't fight me
I just wanna be your friend
I just wanna be your friend
Squirrel Cat don't bite me
Squirrel Cat don't fight me
I just wanna be your friend
I just wanna be your friend

The Squirrel Cat was smoking down
He had the bowl in his armhand
It was smoking
He burnt his handpaw
Everything went crazy
The place was going on and on
The bowl was blowing and the smoke was flowing
But the place...was stoned

Squirrel Cat don't bite me
Squirrel Cat don't fight me
Squirrel Cat don't bite me
Squirrel Cat don't fight me
I just wanna be your friend
I just wanna be your friend

There's a Squirrel Cat in the road

Reviews
interesting sounds, but overall stupid.
interesting sounds, but overall stupid.
- patrick_walker527 from Melbourne, Vic, Australia on 14Jun2005

hitting a bunch of buttons
first few seconds is totally worthless... at 30 seconds i start to hear something that resembles music. ok im really not impressed at this yoko ono wanna be composition. im all for experimental music and avant garde art but this is just a person hitting a bunch of random buttons in the studio and singing "i just want to be your friend" you put not a bit of creative energy into this... if you could only be this experimental with music and not electronics and other stuff in the studio( that will only get outdated) you might have something.
- DevinDevin from Soggytown, Monkeyville on 13Jun2005

Experimental at it's best!!!
Atmospheric Captain Beefhart. Awesome! The mix is fascinating and intoxicating. Etheral spirits jumping out of the speakers to mess with your head. What an amazing composistion. Truly original and captivating.
- americanrust from Stanchfield, Minnesota on 12Jun2005

energizer bunny....
backwards intro...?...?...ok, not working at all. hope the whole thing isnt like this. Still going...and going. Your like the energizer bunny of bad song making, if you can call that a song. This track shouldnt evan be in the contest for reveiw. Sorry if I sound harsh, but sheesh!
- pleasemachine from Seattle, Washington on 12Jun2005

Mr. Bungle
Have you ever heard of the bungals. Well you have acomplished their annoying screwd up sound, wich is in a way a compliment. On the other hand there are, as I'm sure you have allready encountered, people who would say this is crap. I think psychadellics are the inspiration for this, STUFF, this is not music. I'm sure this stuff would be quite cool if I ate about an oz of shrooms but unfortunately for you I don't do that anymore. I don't understand why you would put this on knowing full well that the reviews are not going to be too good, on the other hand that may be what you are going for. In that case I give you props for having big balls, no one ever made it anywhere without taking risks.
- tekkid12052 from Cheyenne, Wyoming on 12Jun2005

focus daniel-san
I like the individual layers I just wish it went somewhere. The vocals are singing and have their own rhythm so maybe use this as a "drum" track and build the ambient noise to reflect that. Overall it's just too abstract, the only thing I could really grasp was the vocal.
- UnnecessaryEvil from Los Angeles, California, Antarctica on 12Jun2005

The big experiment
So how do we make these sounds? This certainly was and experiment. The last song I heard was 1970's rock, not experimental at all. Now this. Distorted not in a pleasing to the ear way. I was wanting this to make me think, or leave me with something enduring. Maybe it went over my head cos I just got distorted sound effects and some dialogue. But it was brave and definitely original so full marks for that and it gets my vote over the widdly guitar solo's.
- sirhcjacks from Manchester, United Kingdom on 11Jun2005

Capt. Beefheart lives!
Experimental... Wild-sounding. Trippin, man...I liked what most people probably overlook. Keep up the awesome stuff... It takes balls and dedication, so best of luck
- SonicM from Tucker, Georgia on 11Jun2005

hi
well this is pretty silly. I don't know how to respond to this exactly...I wish I could understand the words better. Obviously it's biggest failure is that it is totally arbitrary. I mean , musically, it has no redeeming qualities. And as art? Well what do you think it accomplishes as art? Does it make meaningful commentary on the medium? I'd say no. Does it make me smile? A little bit at points. Is it easy on the ears? No. Is it groundbreaking? No. Is it original? Not really, though it isn't wholly unoriginal. Overall? 2.
- mrstrauss from Temple City, California on 9Jun2005

Very strange
The mix sounded very fuzzy. No idea what the vocalist was saying. I appreciate the spirit of experimentation, but I would add an element of melody in there to draw the listener or better yet new listener of experimental rock. I would focus on some percussion to help along the production and clear up the vocals in order to get your statement across. All in all trying to be different is difficult after so many years of rock before us. I have to give you credit for making an offering into this genre. Best of luck.
- redline from Redford, Michigan on 9Jun2005

Say What?
This is super cool. I mean, sure I don't know what's going on, but I don't care. it's like a mix of life. it's not a song, it's a movement.
- imonfireburn from Calgary, Alberta, Canada on 8Jun2005

Noise rock Yes
Very nice this is right up my alley enjoyed it very much. liked the bell sound the way the spoken word was broken up 2:31 seconds well spent production was nice to. I am guessing your a patton fan or atleast i am hoping however if you are not i suggest checking him out also check out some of my own projects on here they will soon be uplaoded check them out as i will be looking into more of your stuff look forward to hearing more thank you
- Tones757 from Pinckney, Michigan on 8Jun2005

vocals
Loving those vocals. Is taht a uke going on there in the background? NOt much song structure gong on here, but i like it, an interesting listen. I'd love to see this live, man it owuld be hard to pull off. Some crazy sounds going on in there. This would be great in a movie scene if the lead character started having flashbacks.
- nilsprotractor from Canada on 8Jun2005

a fine line
There's experimental and then there's just plain obnoxious. I don't know if this is an earnest effort or not. I think the worst thing is that some of that feedback is actually kind of cool and would have been put to good use in a better written piece.
- mrpersonthing from Canberra, Act, Australia on 7Jun2005

What
What do you call this? I call it noise. No offense.
- Lucidus from Apex, North Carolina on 7Jun2005

Sparse ditty and wierd vocal
Residential like, off wall quark and roll over. Pleasantly grating, creates a definate reaction. Nice and wierd, if you cant be an individual than you cant be a person. Wierd it out, its better than self mutilation.
- gnosticguy from Timberlake, Virginia on 6Jun2005

Sweeter than sweet love
Reversed, hmm, shrill voices, reversed again. I hear some nice mudded guitars, tapped, plucked, hit. Distorted and crooked all the way and he "just wanna be my friend". Well, you can be my friend for sure and i love to invite you to our next schwan-session. You'd be perfect!
- bluerat from Malmoe, Skane, Sweden on 6Jun2005

Return to the pod
Definitely experimental- no chance of you being in the wrong category. The guitar tone and spoken word style remind me of Ween's The pod. I would really like to hear this after a long night of self abuse with a pair of headphones- you have successfully trancended the mainstream plane- good job!
- freshpants from Carrollton, Georgia on 6Jun2005

cool exsperm
what are they saying? well its original but i dont know how many times i might listebn to this it is a good experimentatio nand u hare going in a good direction.
- acidpunk from Pinckney, Michigan on 6Jun2005

Love this
definitely insane. Laughed my ass off. stimulated and want to go back and play this while on acid. Were you on it when you recorded this. What do I comment on... nice space noises, distorted morphed slowed down demon voice? Experimental fo sho
- UVeez from Piedmont, California on 5Jun2005

No
Is the objective here to confuse? Why? Horrible production. Experimenting with irritable bowel? Damn man I'm sorry, but why?
- symbioticsimian from Miami, Florida on 4Jun2005

I like crazyness.
I'm kind of partial to the chaotic, loud, crazyness sound in general, so, I like this on a certain level. It's recorded way too loud, and none of the instruments come through, but, who cares. It's obviously intended to be abrasive and it works for me. So, there.
- Allen_White from Austin, Texas on 4Jun2005

very irritating 2
whats that? un-understandable vocals. no melody. irritating electrosound. making my headache come back... very irritating
- schlechterdrummer from Gmunden, Upper Austria, Austria on 4Jun2005

Needs work
This mix of odd vocal and music samples, interested me at first. However, it shows no arrangement or structure at all; thus, I have a hard time saying anything good about it. Needs work.
- undoingofdavidw from Dallas, Texas on 3Jun2005

???
Somthing weird is about to happen. Souuds like weird hillbilly techno or somthing..overall its very distracting and also a little irritating. It sounds like an episode of dr whoe or somthing.
- CraZyPickleZ from Edmonton, Alberta on 2Jun2005

Scrambled and spooky
There is too much noise and fuzziness to this tune, for me this just becomes annoying.
Not much to hold on to in this tune, everthing sounds very overdriven and distorted.
Sorry I dont catch this..
- Julianscave from Oslo, Norway on 2Jun2005

Extra Credit Awards
Originality-9
Stupidest Song Ever-5
Guitars-3
Mood-3
Programming-3
Production-3
Male Vocals-2
Lyrics-2
Female Vocals-1
Beat-1
Most Rocking Track-1

Squirrel Cat was awarded Stupidest Song in Experimental Rock for the week of 6-13-05. It was also awarded Most Original Song in Experimental Rock for the week of 6-13-05.

I Need You

2005-06-20T20:35:00.000-04:00

Hi there,
In our continuing series of songs being reviewed on GarageBand.com, we have made our way through the review cycle of "I Need You" here is all the info about the song and the reviews that it received. Reviewers are also able to give extra credit to certain elements of a song, a list of the extra credit awards will be shown after all the reviews. See you next time with, "Squirrel Cat".

I Need You(2:49)

Score 1.8 out of 5.0
#624 of 670 in Current Alternative Rock
#15057 of 15493 in All-Time Alternative Rock

History
Mick does everything.
This song appears on the hit Buddha All-Stars album, Wall of Sound. There is also a live version that appears on the hit Tonto Savalas album, Some More Heavy Metal.

Lyrics
Something about taking a pee.

Reviews
This is bloodsport
Here I am, standing on the street, watching a trainwreck before my eyes. Destruction everywhere. Blood, guts, brains and bone. I would feel bad about flaming this song, except I really can't believe even this band could think they've done something good. Something listenable. With bands like the White Stripes defining a new sound - 'garage', perhaps there are a few folks out there that need to define the bottom delineation of the genre. The detective in me has decerned the following: Recorded on a boombox with the built-in mic. Guitar plugged into a fuzz box, then into the home stereo. Everyone got high and drunk. A song spontaneously broke out. Screaming ensued. I'll probably hear this on the radio next month.
- frozensmile from San Mateo, California on 14Jun2005

Excellent
This is great. Its very good rhythm. The story and the lyrics really say a lot. The guitar is very expressive. The bass is subtle and compliments the story and the feeling very well. The recording is adiquate. You could use a boost of about 3 or 4 db at the 30hrz. overall to brighten the whole song. very nice guys.
- justindr660 from Tuebingen, California, Germany on 14Jun2005

wasting you time
practise a bit more
stay off the booze
right better songs
find better musician
or just give up playing all together
can't think of anything else at the moment to improve you band
- grant77 from Wales on 14Jun2005

Not much hear
Very amaturish. Bad sound, bad vocals, simple guitar, not much here to like. Hope you had fun making it.
- leokennedy from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania on 14Jun2005

This must be the worst I´ve ever heard
Sorry sorry sorry! This is not to offend you or anything. First of all exactly what drug had you taken when you recorded this? I don´t know what to say about the "production" else then this is not a production at all. It sounds like You´ve mixed everything in my old samic 12W Guitar amp. And the vocals are the fucking worst i have ever heard! He cant´t even keep one tone! The drums are totally out of rythm all the time. If there is a band that stand for tightness, you are the band that stands for untightness. The song chords have been used 100 million times and are popular among rookie guitar players. Well thats about it right? Finally if this was just a joke, then it´s a totally faboulous joke cuz i laughed the entire song trough. :-)
- volodjamakarov from Unspecified on 12Jun2005

bad mix good song
Get out there and get a professional mix. This is for the rough cut garage band but you're ready for a professional mix. Sounds like you're squealing the vocals and cracking for a cool sloppy effect but it's not cool, pull back on that a little. Love the style though, just a little, little cleaner but keep the sloppy style.
- rivianprods from Hollywood, California on 11Jun2005

Badly recorded 50s slow dance song.
Poorly recorded. Horrible lyrics. Drums are too much louder than guitar. Some of the worste singing I have heard on this site.
- Fetuchinial from Foley, Minnesota on 11Jun2005

Alright
Vocals really aren't very punchy. There's nothing about this song that sounds professional or tight. Really now, come on. Do you really need a review for this. You should know this is crap.
- NewSamsin from Calgary, Alberta, Canada on 11Jun2005

df
i'm glad you can play all the instruments yourself. now learn to write better lyrics and sing.
- dougclutter from Nashville, Tennessee on 10Jun2005

This goes beyonds words, so I will try to exp..
The playing was not very tight. The recording is poor. The vocals go out of key. The lyrics are stupid. It has a feel as a sappy 50�s tune, done very poorly. The hook is sung so out of key that I start to lose consciousness. The vocals could use some ambience. The singer could use better microphone control. This is torture. COMPLETE TORTURE. Playing this for a 24 hour period to any one would get them to confess to any crime. I try to see the best in everything. But you have assaulted me sonically and I kind not be kind in return for your horrible job. I will not nominate this for the stupidest song ever, as you are probably hoping because I would develop bad Karma for putting other people through this torture. Good points, you all appear to be able to play and sing in a mediocre fashion. You have a lot of guts.
- 12GaugeFuse from Portland, Oregon on 10Jun2005

swampy
I'm afraid it was very hard to hear this song for several reasons: one is that it needs to be mastered louder, the other is that the vocals were almost indescernible in the mix. Vocalist needs to seriously work on intonation and clearly communicating his lyrics. The vocals distort on several occassions.
- TheEndless from Los Angeles, California on 10Jun2005

Original
Neat song! Like a classic 60's love song, but played in a clunky, clangy way. I like the singer's voice. This song might be neat in a movie soundtrack. It's funny, the vocal/instrumental harmony reminds me at times of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars (Bowie). Good song, keep it up.
- J_D_Abram from Quadra Island, British Columbia, Canada on 10Jun2005

Bandwidth is HI here?
Horrible sound. I thought my bandwidth was low... Vocals are out of tune, what's wrong with the sound? This is not alternative rock.
- MPDMUSIC from Miami, Florida on 9Jun2005

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO...
say. Experience taught me a lot of things. As it does for most people. Also, most people look back on their lives and usually with some disdain, can find atleast one or two things which they grow to regret purely and simply, because it's the 'right' thing to do. You guys should look at the 2:49 second catastrophe I just heard, and start the 'regretting process' tomarrow. I get leery when I hear things this ill-concieved because there's always a chance, this is a hoax. You are a singular example of why GB should screen uploads.
- dosolso from Jamestown, New York on 9Jun2005

Blunt
This is a demo made by yourself. But thats ok. I don't judge production. It is very hard to hear the instruments, however i can feel the music. The music reminds me of an old 60's song. I like the singers honesty and blunt lyrics. With a little better production this song would be cool.
The screams of the singer are intersting too. I like the laughing at the end of the track. Not taking yourselves too serously is cool.
- zelazowa from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania on 9Jun2005

not so clear
I think at some point this song could work but it has a really long way to go. It is really unclear, the singer misses a lot of notes, and the drums sound like crap.
- mderksen from Ann Arbor, Michigan on 8Jun2005

This song is gonna take you to the top
What the friar is going on here? This is incredible - I'm surprised you guys haven't been snapped up by Song or Geffen yet. Nice lyric 'without me you'll drown in your pee' - incredible use of rhyme there. The guitar playing and singing is exquisite. By the sounds of it you ate a few too many magic mushrooms and then simply pressed play on your tape player. You guys certainly made me smile - although you may have anger management issues. Nice one.
- ElectraMatt from London, United Kingdom on 8Jun2005

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Hissssss!!!!!!!!
I have to write a lot of stuff about this song to get a good reviewer rating, and it is unfair. This is the worst song I have ever heard. I hate everything going on and even having to type this much on this piece of horrible crap angers me. There is nothing in tune. There is nothing that is played in time. The vocal line is ripped off from everyone. The drums must have been recorded with a Fisher Price Microphone. the guitars suck, horribly horribly suck. there is a black hole in this website being taken up by this affront to humanity. If you think I am being cruel or intentionally vicious please listen to this waste of 3 minutes of my life and see if you agree with me. To whoever made this, YOU SUCK!!!!
- Channelonepage from Sherman Oaks, California on 8Jun2005

Thinking 50s
Instantly I was reminded of 50s type music. Maybe it's just garageband's built in sound player, but the sound quality isn't that great. For a demo, this isn't too bad. The music sounds pretty well put together. The only part that annoyed me was when the singer was screaming/trying to reach high notes. Otherwise, sounds like you've got something decent to work with.
- Dumbayash from Riverside, Ohio on 7Jun2005

HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH MY GOD - ELVIS MEETS THE WEDDING SINGER!
PURE GENIUS!
Best song I've heard all day.
Thank you!
- kwilson from United Kingdom on 7Jun2005

Could be...
...re-recorded. After getting the bass player a tuner and the rest of the band some lessons. Sorry guys, my humble opinions is that this was a mistake that no one had the balls to tell you about.
- symbioticsimian from Miami, Florida on 4Jun2005

Extra Credit Awards
Stupidest Song Ever-5
Originality-4
Male Vocals-3
Most Bitter Break Up Song-2
Guitars-1
Drums-1
Mood-1

I Need You was awarded Stupidest Song in Alternative Rock for the week of 6-13-05. It was also awarded Most Bitter Break Up Song in Alternative Rock and Overall for the week of 6-13-05.

Manifesto

2005-06-19T12:40:00.000-04:00

The first half of the landmark Tonto Savalas album, Manifesto, is now available for listening or downloading. So we asked producer Jeff Archer to tell us a little about the making of the album:

I started the mixing and organizing of the "Manifesto" album in the fall of 1998. I can't remember exactly how it came to be that I produced this album but I'm pretty sure that it boiled down to Scott just not wanting to do it. He probably asked me if I wanted to do it and I said yes.

"Manifesto" as an album was put together from a variety of 4-track tapes from different sources. As I recall I was given a large bag of cassettes with the instructions to figure it all out. I'm sure I had some suggestions from the others as far as certain songs that they wanted on the album but I assembled most of it by myself. This way of working on the album was really liberating for me but as a result I placed some songs on the album which were never intended to be heard by their writers. A good example was the song "Feel So Screwed". When I heard the 4-track master tapes I thought it was one of the best things Mick had ever done. I mixed it and thought it was great but when Mick heard it he was fairly annoyed.

I had mixed the first 17 songs of the album and put them together on a master cassette that I was adding to as I went along. They were great mixes but I lost the tape soon after that so I had to remix the 17 songs over again and they weren't half as good. When the original cassette version of "Manifesto" came out it consisted of those inferior re-mixes. About 2 years later I found the original master cassette containing the first mixes and those were substituted on the compact disc version of the album.

Most of the songs for "Manifesto" were recorded at Mick and Rob's house on Kingsville in Detroit which really was the groups "clubhouse" at the time. At some point in the production of the album Mick gave me a cassette tape of tracks that he and Rob had recorded for me to overdub onto. I recorded these additional tracks at my home in St. Clair Shores. "Josephine" and "Otis Chasing Dots" came from this tape. "Nico's Dead, Nico's Dead" and "Children Of The Dark" were songs that I had written during the sessions. "Bastille Day" dated back to the "Close The Kitchen" days.

I think when we recorded this batch of songs and the ones that made up the following album "The Heart Of San Antonio" it was the last time that the group shared the strong bond that we had in those days. We pretty much saw each other constantly as we had for years before that and it showed in our music. We knew each other musically very well and we were as tight as we would ever be.

I have great memories of the actual sessions for "Manifesto". Scott Lozon locking himself in Mick and Rob's basement cellar to record his vocals on "Frenchy Lloyd". The famous upstairs session that resulted in "Corporate America" and "Run Johnny Run". The ass kicking basement session that produced "Back In January", "Revival", and "If I Had A Penny".

The title for the album came from Rob Armitage. I didn't like that title at the time but in retrospect I think it is very fitting of the music contained on this album. It was a very "organic" musical statement coming from 4 people who were basically living together (Mick and Rob really were) and creating music almost daily with each other. It was a manifesto or proclamation of where we were at at that point in our lives.

Overall it didn't win a Grammy but I dug it.

So there you have it straight from the man who did it. This ain't no party, this ain't no disco, this ain't no messin' around, this is Rock and Roll, Tonto style. If you can't ride on this train get the hell outta here. As a side note, the album was originally supposed to be produced by Jeff and Rob, but somewhere along the way Rob relinquished his duties to Jeff. Enough talk, go and listen to it.

Back From Nebraska

2005-06-14T01:57:00.000-04:00

Hello,
In our continuing series of songs being reviewed on GarageBand.com, we have made our way through the review cycle of "Back From Nebraska" here is all the info about the song and the reviews that it received. Reviewers are also able to give extra credit to certain elements of a song, a list of the extra credit awards will be shown after all the reviews. See you next time with, "Squirrel Cat".

Back From Nebraska(3:37)

Score 1.5 out of 5.0
#442 of 453 in Current Indie Rock
#1245 of 1467 in All-Time Indie Rock

History
Scott-Vocals and Background Vocals.
Mick-Guitar and Background Vocals.
Jeff-Keys.
Adam-Background Vocals.
This song appears on the hit Tonto Savalas album, Ruben, Where Are You?.

Lyrics
Something about Nebraska.

Reviews
Go Back to Nebraska
Tune your guitar, first off. You are obviously trying to play something that sounds awful on purpose. Why subject people trying to post their band's work to this noise? Try incorporating some of the elements of music like melody and harmony and pretend to try.
- SunnKing from Unspecified on 12Jun2005

No thanks
This is a song I would never listen to it was so hard to listen to cause it is one of the worst songs i have ever heard.
- natedawgs13 from Conyers, Georgia on 11Jun2005

experimental
This is a very interesting tune. It is hard for me to get into because of the out of tune vocals and general wierdness but it is interesting. It defenitely sets a scene. I bet most probably don't get it. do what you feel.
- mingarp from New Orleans, Louisiana on 10Jun2005

floyd?
production is very poor..LIke the idea of the mellowness. Think the vox and the efx on them need a lot of work.Guitar paying is competent but could do with more practice and better mic placement...The weird sound efx BIRDS? are a tad distressing . All in all keep on playing and one day there will be something publicly pleaseable
- spacecadet1975 from Lowestoft, United Kingdom on 10Jun2005

props
Wow this song is very original. Diggin it, total indi flavour to it. Songs like this i really respect. Not caring about what others think just doing your own thang, kudos to you for that my friend. I like all those noises going on in the background.
Not sure how long i can listen to this, but i respect it all the way.
- nilsprotractor from Canada on 8Jun2005

really out of tune
the guitar is really out of tune. The lyrics don't really flow and they don't have a melody. If that's all intentional good job. I don't personally find this very entertaining. The song just repeats.
- onepointstar from Eugene, Oregon on 7Jun2005

hmmm....
this song was made me feel like i was having a peanut butter enema. very uncomfortable the whole time. please dont make this music anymore.
- sabonisthresh from Mesa, Arizona on 7Jun2005

dark song
it starts out sort of cool, although the vocals dont sound great. i like the effects on it but they just sound a bit too melodramatic and a bit off key. i like how the music and vocals build up throughout the song but i think at some poitn it really needs to explode into some sort of loud chorus for the song to have any real power. also i think the vocals are weak in general, they sort of drone throughout the song and the off key notes get a bit annoying. its a good start but there are a lot of things i would chagne about this song.
- Jason_Winter from Unspecified on 7Jun2005

hmm... interesting
not sure this song was entirly suited to this genre. maybe experimental rock? Lyrically I thought it was spooky. reminded me alittle of ween in parts and those vocals in the background started to freak me out alittle. Very moody track, alot of energy but perhaps alittle bit out of place in indie rock. Kept my interest right the way through though.
Overall a really creepy song. :)
- The_Minors from Brisbane, Queensland, Australia on 6Jun2005

hrmm
I hate the acoustic tone... its not very tasty at all...the everything actually sounds quite out of tune, and mishapen. As if you were writing the song while recording it. I really can't stand it. Don't think you were trying very hard to create this...
- Shadow16nh from Cheney, Washington on 6Jun2005

Latte please... with a tab of acid
Freaky man. I can't say that I'd have an attention span worthy of your album, but I'm sure you've got a diverse collection of songs to throw out there. The vocal gets its job done. The guitar gets its job done. Everything gets its job done. If I were to be in a culinary academy, I would be the guy trying to talk you out of using PCP as an ingredient in a meat pie, while thinking to myself "Man, I hope he does it. That'd be cool, I just don't want to take responsibility for it."
- cheddarfreak from San Francisco, California on 4Jun2005 .

:
Did you ever hear Juvenilia, Liz Phair's collection of early recordings? It was released by her label as a stopgap between Exile in Guyville and Whip-Smart. The intent, presumeably, was to give the fans a raw, unadulterated glimpse into Phair's pre-popstar life- sort of like 4-Track Demos did for P.J. Harvey.

Unfortunately, Juvenilia sucked. If Guyville hadn't been such an over-the-top left-field success, these songs never would've seen the light of day- and with good reason. Each track is as saturated with take-it-or-leave-it-cause-i-don&# solopsism as Guyville is accessible.

Anyway, I borrowed my sister's car the other day, and Juvenilia was in the tape deck. Your song reminds me of "South Dakota", the third track. In fact, it's uncannily similar. Both songs are almost obsenely uncatchy. They both have the sort of meandering, atonal vocal melodies that make them almost memorably forgettable. Both songs have a tacit "crow" theme, although yours, to its advantage, actually has someone cawing in the backround. Both songs repeat a single, vaguely interesting line- your "back from Nebraska", her "born in South Dakota"- enough times to obliterate whatever metaphor might've been intended.

Nice vocal fx, though.
- sajak from Atlanta, Georgia on 4Jun2005

out of tune
modest mouse on more crack and with a really bad guitar
the crow/ dogs dont work for this song its kinda dumb.
- joeywilson from Unspecified on 3Jun2005

if you go down to the woods today...
this is a wonderfully depressive sound, that sturs conatations of willy mason's song writing without faith. it is the kind of thing everyone would listen to if there were no prozac. the music altough arguably simple needs nothing extra as it is simply eerie. supurb concept of with the cresendo of twisted and disturbing sounds, including the eeire guitar and the backing 'vocals' perhaps there could be more veriation in the lyrics, although the repation does add to the neurotic sound. simply eerie.
- everyoneelse from London, England, United Kingdom on 3Jun2005

Cool
I like th lo-fi, shitty quality you guys got going on here. But the guitar sounds a little too shitty. A little less reverb. I'm all set.
- the_living_sea from Beverly, Massachusetts on 2Jun2005

too loose
the song does not have much structure, the vocal effect is not working well, i can't hear a word of the lyrics, I think you should start over on this one make it more structured and spend some time on pruduction
- tmk19782000 from Pensacola, Florida on 2Jun2005

review
sorry, this diddnt appeal to me at all. everyone sounds very depressed, and im sure this is what you were trying to go for. everyone sounds out of tune, the guitar gets repetative, and it just doesnt change. Im sure there are people who like this kind of song, but I am not one of them.
- E_Phoenix from Guernsey Ci, Uk, United Kingdom on 1Jun2005

Nebraska
this song is proof that just about anyone can record a song nowadays. i am trying to imagine you booking some studio time to record this but its hard to do. with this vibe it reminds me of early beck, "one foot in the grave". this background noises are cool, something creepy must of happened in Nebraska, i like your approach and if i was on acid i def. wouldnt want to listen to this...or maybe i would?
- sethron from San Buenaventura, California on 31May2005

Awful
Straight away I have one tip for you..... tune your guitar. Thats all you can hear....that one dodgy string! The effect on the voice is well to prominent. This song is far to repetitive and you cant make out the vocals let alone the actual lyrics. Its a terrible mix and the production sucks. Back to the drawing board Im afraid
- luigi69 from Staines, United Kingdom on 30May2005

No no no
It's a sombre start but the vocal isn't really strong enough to hold atmosphere - in fact it's a bit tuneless and gets irritating after a while, like a constant whine. I don't like this song, I can see what it was trying to aim at and it missed the mark by a long way.
- adzach2 from Unspecified on 29May2005

Why?
The production quality on this track was that of a tape recorder, and no amount of flanger and effects can help that voice, it was out of tune and squeaky. And maybe next time before you record you could splurge some on a tuner.
- ludofortuna from San Antonio, Texas on 29May2005

Dissonant and disturbing
Sorry if this is too blunt, but your song is really hard to listen to. Guitar playing is very dissonant, and not very skillfully played. To have it repeating the same progression through almost the entire song is unnerving. The singing voice doesn't quite hold a tune, the highly effected crows are very disturbing/annoying...I can't help but wonder if this is really a serious attempt at a song, or just fishing for negative reviews for ammusement. Sorry if I'm off the mark, but it doesn't seem like very much effort was put into the track...
If disturbing and unnerving was your goal, then you succeeded.
- 3leggedbrain from Unspecified on 27May2005

This review will hurt my rating.
Your guitar is out of tune, and so is your singing. But I like the mponkey noises in the background.
- Ripchord from Las Vegas, Nevada on 27May2005

i feel haunted now
firstly, i don't know if this is purposeful or not, but the guitar seriously needs tuning. at times, i'm sadly tempted to say the same of the vocals. a somewhat haunting melody gives a solid concept to this song, but the execution is very weak. i enjoy the background noises, they add to the ambience and elevate mood, but i feel like i can't really get over the naked guitar, sitting in a lonely spotlight. i have a hard time understanding the singer, possibly due to the odd filter / effect on his voice. around 2:10, a daring attempt at a key change takes place, but i'm afraid it's a bit beyond my ken. all in all, this is either too indie or too poorly done for me to really dig it. find a suitable chord progression and vocal melody, keep your mood and the tension.
- efeuer from Colts Neck, New Jersey on 26May2005

...
vocals sound dizzy, almost like a joke, it's not a bad song, but it does scare me
- Sick_Bob from Buckhannon, West Virginia on 25May2005

ummm????
i really dont think that the off key guitar is any good, the vocals are way off also, i would work on that if i were you.
- StopOnGreen from Unspecified on 24May2005

do yr thang
The vocals are a bit crazy, however, I think that might be what you are looking for. Not sure if I like the effect you have going on the vocals. It's definetly and interesting tuning that you have going on with this song. Not sure if the tuning or the way your fingering some of the notes acually work. I dig what you are trying to do, however, I'm not sure I like it. At 2:28 the cat noises come in too loud and kind of get a bit annoying. It's cool that you are doing your thing so cudos to you for that, keep it up we need people like you out there "keeping it real". Was the guitar straight into the board? It kind of sounds like that, maybe try a track that's mike trough an amp and play it quietly on a left to right speaker in the final mix.
- telvist from Unspecified on 24May2005

Bad, As In Not Good
Tune the guitar, please. This song is absolutely horrible. The melody is horrible. I don't have anything good to say about this. Guitar tuners are relatively cheap. I can't get past the out of tune guitars, the bad uncreative melody notwithstanding. My night has suddenly taken a turn for the worse. Damn it.
- BumpkinStrikes from Irving, Texas on 23May2005

Strange
Guitar sounds a bit out of tune and the vocals are a bit weedy-hidden behind lots of effects. The performance is Alright, but kinda self indulgent-Very strange and repetitive.Can't hardly understand any words and the cat fight in the background is odd at best- very strange.
- tonerodent from Webster Groves, Missouri on 23May2005

Uhhh....
Are the guitars supposed to be out of tune? How about the vocals? I dont quite understand the direction with this song, other than it is most definately unique. However, uniqueness doesn't really qualify if it's credible or worth listening to. This song reaches a level of lo-fi and off-the-wall ability higher than most. I feel like I'm listening to a horrible Edgar Allen Poe recording. If music be the tool to effect your mood, this wouldn't be the best to listen to. I think it might send one to the insane asylum. The recording quality, the lyrics, and every other element of it is frightening. I think one should look beyond merely trying to be unique, and also look forth on honing their technical ability as a musician before anything else at this point.
- Shawnethegirl from Chicago, Illinois on 22May2005

Guitar
Well the guitar sounds out of tune and the vocals can get out of tune as well. I can tell that you can sing better, but you just need to pratice more. I like the backround noises-
- juineaux from Tiffin, Ohio on 22May2005

come on
trying to be interestin but not.
- theunknowns from Los Angeles, California on 20May2005

what were you thinking?
ok... no offense, but i don't know what you had in mind when you started this. the chords are very repetative and not interesting enough to repeat that often.... vocals... you need alot of work, or you shouldn't sing.... and i have no idea what the background noise is..... ok, this sucks
- jaredjstulen from Minneapolis, Minnesota on 19May2005

Tune up!
The guitars are seriously out of tune, the vocals seem to follow suit. The guitar part and vocals dont go anywhere at all. I dont know what to say man. Its pretty rough.
- jordanalexander from Charleston, South Carolina on 18May2005

That wacky Nebraska
The dissonant chord progression is cool, definitely different. The vocals have a very raw quality. While they're following the dissonance path, they seem to be doing so in their own randomly chosen keys. Not sure if that's what you were going for, but it kinda works. Nice "caws", not sure what they're representative of, but I'm all for random quirky sounds in recordings. While I don't ever see this attaining any sort of great commercial success, I can definitely see a small market for it. Mainly for the freaks that're looking for something completely different to listen to. Good Luck!
- ARMSOFTHESUN from Phoenix/Tempe, Arizona on 18May2005

When words aren't enough
A harmonic start to the song with some faint touch of spanish guitarplaying... enchating! The mood is unfortunately somewhat destroyed once the vocals join in. No matter how much chorus, echo or other effects are used, it's simply impossible to hide it if no correct notes are hit during a song. Sorry, but it's just... like a very drunken karaoke singer with absolutely no ear for melody or notes. Sorry... averu potential song, but the vocals just kill it off right from the start.
- Samu2 from Helsinki, Finland on 18May2005

Ouch.
The intro strikes me as out of tune. The vocals kick in and confirm my intitial reaction. Two wrong keys definatly don't make a right here. The lyrics are incoherant. And it just goes on like that. Experimental and disturbing, so, I'll give you some credit for that. Overall, this just strikes me as torture to listen to. Sorry.
- Allen_White from Austin, Texas on 17May2005

totally unexpected!!
this is why i love the indie rock genre. you are going along, listening to very traditional sounds, and then...BAM!!! something hits you like a train...this inticing song for instance!!
wonderful originality. i know the sound you are going for so i won't criticize a thing. i'm sure you might be getting some reviews that don't sit too well because this song takes so much risk. the looseness (is that a word? shit, whatever) of the whole track is incredible. it lets me slip in and out of all that's going on, getting a full veiw of each element. keep it up, PLEASE!!! music needs you!
- daleylauren from Dade City, Florida on 17May2005

Out of tune
Out of tune. I can't get past it. Flanger or chorus on the vocals isn't working. Buddy, you might need to get a new guitar. Then take some lessons, and start over. This music is pretty scary. Those farm animals in the background are freakin me out. Well, it made for an interesting 3 minutes. Take care
- District from Orlando, Florida on 17May2005

tuning, intonation.
this is the hit of my summer! love the background noise. like a dead corpse of your family in the corn fields of Nebraska...where I'm from.
- Austin_Vice from Oakland, California on 17May2005

intentionaly bad?
Production needs work. I guess the vocals are supposed to be out of tune like that. It seems like the singser is doing it on purpose. I suppose it adds to the mood of the song. The idea of guitar and vocals and background noises is good, but this needs more work. I think it sounds too rough though. I don't know what to say. It sounds as if you want it to be weird and discomforting. Well, you achieved your goal. It sounds wierd. It is not something I could listen to. Apparently I don't like indie music. Um, If I did this song, I would want the vocals cleaned up alot.
The guitar sounds good. That can stay. The childlike sounds in the background are disturbing. They need to be cleaned as well though. They get distorted and stuff. Well, I think I am over my head on this review. I am not too familiar with this style of music. In the indie genre, this may be a great song. But, by my standards, it is a very poor song. It doesn't really capture the listener. There is no real thing to bring me back for more.
- always_a_rhythm from Mullica Hill, New Jersey on 17May2005

Spooky
The dissonance gives this song a hauntingly spooky feel. The background sounds (is it kids in a playground?) are downright scary. Unfortunately I miss the lyrics with the vocals being so buried in effects. If there's a cool story in there this could be an interesting song, otherwise it's just noise.
- rjl from Somerville, Massachusetts on 17May2005

Screaming children save something, but not mu..
Ok, ok. Let's say this is very wicked, the vocals are indeed out of tune. Reminds me of that gang leader in Policy Academy, that crappy comedy from the 80's - the voice is as enjoyable, minus the humor. Guitars, hmm, minimalism might be nice, but this simply is just annoying. My apologies, but your art doesn't really get me. The samples of screaming children is probably the best that this song has to offer.
- mnsk13 from Helsinki, Finland on 17May2005

Intergalactic Faux-Pas
The good news is, nestled in a heaping pile of cheesy -sounding effects I can see a talented songwriter just begging to come out. The opening guitar lines were dangerously dischordant, in a way that is more alienating than interesting. The notes just don't mesh well, but with a little tweaking it could be good dischord. The vocals are too effects laden on top of the cleaner sounding guitars. At first, I thought that it was a live recording because of the noise in the background, but then I realized it was another ill placed effect. I give you credit for a stab at an original arrangement but this song would sound a lot more convincing if it was cleaned up.
- finestdearest from San Francisco, California on 16May2005

I vomitted all over my computer, you owe me ..
Yeah, that guitar is clearly WAY out of tune. The vocals are out of tune as well, but relative pitch is non existant hear since nothing seems to be on key. PRoduction is absolutely atrocious, I can't imagine how you got this to sound so dissonant and boomy. Is this a live recording? Those bird voices in the background are truly haunting, that might be the only positive here. Other than that, lyrics are whiney, progression is simple and laggy, and the whole thing drags on and on and on, disonnantly. Reviewing this song is a waste of my time and anyone else who has to fabricate good things to say about it. This is a joke, stupidest song i've ever heard, F-
- RadiocureA from Somerville, Massachusetts on 16May2005

IN your face
guys...this is the weirdiest song I've heard in a while now...it rocks.
please give me your address, I'll send you a guitar tuner...no, just kidding. I like those weird out of tune guitars and feel. all original chords. nice effects on the vocals (is that what this is?) and the lyrics are way different. you guys are onto something. when is your next show?
this should be the anthem of all the states in the world
- MothersAnger from San Francisco, California on 16May2005

different...
the strange yelping samples in the middle of the song may be the only redeeming component of this composition. perhaps this is not exactly indie rock. this sounds more like avant-garde folk. having said that, the guitars are appropriately out of tune and edgy, and the vocals are recorded in a meloncholy, low-fi way that is fitting with the guitars. pristine production was obviously not a goal you were striving for. this music is painfully honest.
- arbor from Jackson Heights, New York on 16May2005

tuning
I think your tuning is off. You may be trying for that, but until you get that baby tuned up with a tuner, you have no chance at hitting the key. Now, if you want the dissonant nightmarish feel, then you did quite well.
- Distraction from San Diego, California on 16May2005

YOU CAN GET A TUNER CHEAP...
THE GUITAR DESTROYED THIS TRACK. A LITTLE OUT OF TUNE MIGHT SOUND "INDIE", BUT THIS IS UN-BEARABLE. THE MUPPETS IN THE BACKGROUND WERE A LITTLE FREAKY. PEOPLE ARE REALLY TAKING THE TERM "INDIE ROCK" A LITTLE TOO SERIOUSLY. THAT'S IT FOR ME, I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE.
- Sola from Stratford, New Jersey on 16May2005

Dr. Strange
I thought this was very strange as I am sure was the intent. The guitarist's use of the same notes over and over bring an air of instability and uneasiness. Children's voices sampled over the song add to it. I couldn't tell a whole lot about this song except the mood is very eerie. Vocals are equally full of effects which round the general intent.
- kickipena from Knoxville, Tennessee on 16May2005

Interesting
This song is quite powerful in the message it is sending out. I feel a better vocal performance and a better guitar sound (ie, in tune) would make the song more enjoyable to listen to.
Unfortunately, I don't believe that this song will make too much radio play in its current state.
I do like the sound effects, cant quite tell what they are, but they remind me of the effects on Tomorrow Never Knows by The Beatles. The songs ending is quite abrupt, I wasnt quite expecting it to be this way! The line "Back from Nebraska" is actually quite memorable, I would definitely keep this like and develop it further as a hook.
- matthewrodgers from Belfast, Down, Northern Ireland on 16May2005

You're class
Great out of tune guitar and out of tune vocals warbling mindlessly. I'm going to give you a 5 for being class, you're class.
- jonny_panda from Belfast, Ni, United Kingdom on 16May2005

Extra Credit Awards
Originality-8
Stupidest Song Ever-4
Male Vocals-3
Mood-2
Guitars-1
Drums-1
Programming-1
Production-1

Back From Nebraska was awarded Stupidest Song in Indie Rock for the week of 5-30-05.

WALL OF SOUND part 2

2005-06-14T01:47:00.000-04:00

The second half of Wall of Sound is now available for listening or downloading. Go here to find out more info about the album.

Hark! Hark! The Newsboys Dead

2005-06-11T21:28:00.000-04:00

Hullo,
In our continuing series of songs being reviewed on GarageBand.com, we have made our way through the review cycle of "Hark! Hark! The Newsboys Dead" here is all the info about the song and the reviews that it received. Reviewers are also able to give extra credit to certain elements of a song, a list of the extra credit awards will be shown after all the reviews. See you next time with, "Back From Nebraska".

Hark! Hark! The Newsboys Dead(6:30)

Score 2.4 out of 5.0
#176 of 192 in Current Experimental Rock
#1245 of 1467 in All-Time Experimental Rock

History
Jeff-Vocals, Lyrics, Guitar Mick-Drums Scott-Keys
Hark! Hark! The Newsboy's Dead-A lazy man's song for the animal rights activist in you? Or an honest man's anguished soul searching in a crushing world of information overload and moral ambiguity?

I'm just a man of virtue
I'm just a victim of circumstance
cirmcumstance
Not circumcision
got them all in this condition
The cattle all have guilty consciences
trapped themselves in a razor wire fence

This song starts on quiet drums and a guitar line that quickly changes up to put some of the wet and sideways into the groove. Everything else comes right along with it. The Buddha All-Stars fill up your ears and settle in at the top of your spine for the rest of this track; a straight ahead rock groove, not afraid to get down and invite you to play in the dirt.

Lyrics
Look to the eastern skies
Of the west
And throw it all away
The cattle all came down today
We didn't have a word to say
I'm just a man of virtue
I'm just a victim of circumstance
Circumstance, not circumcision
Got them all in this condition
The cattle all have guilty consciences
Trapped themselves in a razor wire fence

So Hark! Hark! The Newsboys Dead
The cadillac ran over his head
And no one got their papers today
Some other day we'll get the news
And read through it and choose
Which of the cattle we want to save
Because a razor wire fence is hard to climb
Besides I just don't have the time
The cattle are my friends
Yes cattle are my friends
Yes cattle are my friends to the end

Reviews
wow long
didn't catch me immediately, definitely out there. With this kind of stuff I look for where melodies are innovative, sounds are ground breaking, or just plain - does this hold me? I didn't get into this. Vocals and story line too slow and too long.
- UVeez from Piedmont, California on 5Jun2005

messy
I think the opening rough guitar mix is not really effective. I really think you should try and remix this and put it back up. The constant guitar solo is very distracting. The bass drum is non-existant. This seems like hard rock to me; not really alternative. I am not finding structure to hold on to. Good luck.
- spiriteq from Royal Oak, Michigan on 5Jun2005

garbage
fuck this is weird music.. i dont really like it at all..the singing throws it off...im sorry but I find it hard to say anything good about this..sorry
- KayGee from Espanola, Ontario, Canada on 5Jun2005

rhythm and/or melody makes a song
Do I seriously have to review this? I pray you guys aren't serious about this. I'm sorry, but this is just terrible. No offense, just my tastes. The recording is awful. The guitars sound you've been playing for about half a day. Drums are rarely on beat, if at all. Singing (talking) is both boring and annoying at the same time. All that being said, you sound like you're having fun jamming so I like that, but I don't understand putting it on garageband. If you're serious, at least get a halfway decent recording and try to come up with some kind of rhythm or melody. Yeah, rhythm and melody sounds good. Best of luck.
- tylerjakes from Minneapolis, Minnesota on 4Jun2005

Not my style.
I like the atonal guitar intro, good start. I can't pin my finger on what bothers me about the rest of the song, possibly the guitar tone, or the bland vocals. It's not bad at all, but I can't get into it.
- undoingofdavidw from Dallas, Texas on 3Jun2005

classic rock goes way out
Atonal chromatic classic rock guitar sound random-riff-searching gets us started. Enter noise and stock rhythm section doing a 1/2 step mideast/indian chordal modulation vibe under wordless wolfy whine of falsetto lead vocal, (warming up). Guitar continues strong noodling, then drops back to noteless chunka rhythm, making room for the high vocal evolution down into crooney Sinatraesque slooow bluesy rappish melodic improv. Victim of virtue in uncircumsized circumstance? Next, guitar works back in with strong King Crimson m6 riffing, and the wolf returns for a bit. Frank croons some more, largely unrelated to key of music, but smooth, real smooth. Let's jam, at and over the edge.... you never know what we might discover...
- MikeOso from Atlanta, Georgia on 3Jun2005

Not for everyone
Not for everyone but I kinda liked it. It had a primal energy to it. Parts of it were really powerful and emotive and then other sections lost that energy. The hight vocal notes were reminisant of those old 50's horror movies. The whole song gave me a bit of a chill. I'm giving it 5 stars cause it scared me.
- The_Minors from Brisbane, Queensland, Australia on 2Jun2005

Beer anyone?
guitar and drums...is that a casio? Little wandering at the moment... Anything gonna happen? Guitar sounds a bit out of tune. Sounds like the guitar is laying the foundation, it should be the drums and or bass. Vocals drone, not into it. Sounds like a drunken jam caught on tape. Very drunken.
- remydelamora from Hollywood, California on 2Jun2005

finally, some experimental
this is actually a bit experimental unlike alot of other songs posted in this genre, i appreciate experimenting with music however i dont really like the screeching and vocals all that much.
- riznich from Manitowoc, Wisconsin on 1Jun2005

Uh, I dont call that anything
Said Frankie Lee with a smile. Frankenstein was an experiment, this is just really bad. But if you cant play or sing, well, you still shouldnt do this.
- gnosticguy from Timberlake, Virginia on 1Jun2005

Can on Prozac
A very feeble attempt at making krautrock, this was more funny than it was good.( But quite funny though) The vocals remind me a little of Jim Morrison, when he was very drunk, and played in half tempo.
- Julianscave from Oslo, Norway on 1Jun2005

review
interesting. i like the weird cultural thing that you have going here with the guitar slash...sitar? i like the drums. whatever it is that comes in at about 1:00 scared the hell out of me. its a tad loud. i like the guitar when he starts singing. Im not totally digging the lyrics but the music and the way he sings is cool. he sounds under the influence of something. but thats not always a bad thing. i like it. nice job.
- goodtimes7eleven from Brooklyn Park, Minnesota on 31May2005

Off-Period
It sounds like you're purposefully fucking up here at the beginning, let's hope so--now the drums are catching on, and there's a strange metallic ambiance rising in the background. Okay, I liked all that, I'm glad that was method and not madness, or stupidity for that matter. I like the vocals too: unpredictable, experimental, yet somehow broken-in, very bassy. Of course, this is not listenable in case you couldn't figure that out for yourself, but music doesn't have to be, it just must keep expanding--Sonic Youth should've taught everyone that by now. Of course, they know how to put out marketable albums that allow them to fuck around for off-periods, you know, noise phases. The sloppiness is good in my book but I often feel alone in that respect, so good luck on garageband. I like alot of the guitar, it maintains originality throughout, a little Neil Youngish if you wanna go overboard, but overall this is incoherent to the casual listener (and plus you're paired with a totally badass song).
- Middies from Chattanooga, Tennessee on 31May2005

Back to the drawing board (or sanatorium).
Lo-fi garage type sound at the beginning. The ominious din in the backround kept my interest for a while, but when the vocals kicked in, I could no longer take this song seriously. Maybe that's the point, but this is a difficult feat to perform if a musician doesn't want to alienate a mainstream audience (this is my generous interpretation). Mostly this tune came off as grating and incomprehensible. I usually force myself to listen to an entire tune at least once. But not in this case.
- squidpool from New York on 31May2005

Hmmm...
I think there is a difference between exerimental and non-musical. But the fuzz bass is the shit. AAAAAhhhhh.
- Wevans from Austin, Texas on 30May2005

rulers of darkness
Very good vocals but way too high in the mix.The guitars were okay but you might wanna add a chorus pedal or something to flesh it out. Overall , a pretty cool song - reminds me of Nikki Sudden with maybe some Birthday Party thrown in. The mix was a little off but no big deal.
- harrysson from Hagerstown, Maryland on 30May2005

Too soon to see the light of day
The song seems to ramble and meander aimlessly. It sounds like a rehearsal room recording.
There are some raw, out of tune vocals. There doesn't seem to be any unity between the words and music. As a writer, I would probably count this as one part of an incomplete song concept.
- LoveIsReal from Cyberspace, Canada on 29May2005

??
What the hell. That is the most nonsensical trumpet playing is ever heard, hopefully its a just an intro to somthing good. not really...I do like how u create an excellent mood for a bout thirty seconds with that weird ghost sounding section at about 120. Thats pretty much the only part of the song that i liked. The singing was bad and the music was totally out of sink. It has potential, if u just decided to make it less ridiculas and more technically sound
- CraZyPickleZ from Edmonton, Alberta on 29May2005

Wow
Wow that was bizzare, at first i didnt knwo weather i hated it or loved it, and then i liked it. I cant really say anything, im speechless.
- ludofortuna from San Antonio, Texas on 28May2005

are we all together?
OK we are in the experimental section not the local guitar shop. The sound quality is not good. It's a bit unfortunate that you can get realistic sounds with vst instruments but I'm afraid it's the way of the world and people just go off what they hear. Loved the vocal very Jim Morrison complete with poetic lyrics. I can't hear the bass very well. The vocal really is the only clear quality sound. Sorry guys experimentation for me is about breaking new ground. I felt you were all doing different things that didn't have too much to do with eachother. Brave though, you are looking to break new ground, but you still need a hook.
- sirhcjacks from Manchester, United Kingdom on 28May2005

is good
i really like the dirty sound in the begining. it's like i'm right there. a little too loose on the whole thing. but there is defenatly something there. and the singer should do less drugs a drink less booze. anyway keep it up guys
- moscas from Los Angeles, California on 26May2005

about awareness
I'm not sure if there is any awareness behind the makings of this and why it has been shared with us. But sometimes it can be a good thing to step back to make an objective observation of what we do and why we do it. If a black hole of chaotic, isolated angst is what was intended to be shared here, it has been a success!
- ninaswan from Oslo, Norway on 25May2005

Fun!
I'm liking this stuff. It's chaotic, has moments where I think it's going to become perfectly coherent, then it goes off into times where it's got sort of an insane melody going. That extremely low tone is reminding me of some of the music from the early Star Trek movies, sounds like this is the bass line! It's cool, has a very ominous thing going. This is like Primus mixed with Yes, very intriguing sound. The lyrics are very bizarre, but still interesting. The song has a pretty nifty groove to it, seems like it has a consistent flow amongst the chaos. The guitarist really draws out some notes, making for some really cool expression. The drums are solid and played nicely. Nice outro too... Good work.
- bhodges01 from Stillwater, Oklahoma on 25May2005

Drunken jazz jam
Some strange sounds on this one. The guitar sounds very horn like which kinda fits the freeform jazz feel. Sounds like when me and my buddies get all lit up and start banging around on our instruments. This song is all over the place and not very listenable but it holds attention on the novelty of strangeness.
- ApocalypseCow from Toms River, New Jersey on 25May2005

Yuck
Those opening notes for the singer hurt. You could tell. Sing in your range man! The guitar seems okay, but you are playing by yourself. You are supposed to be a member of the band and are not playing like one. It seems that every element of this song is acting as if unattached to eachother. Yuck
- silenceistreason from L.A., California on 24May2005

Hmm...
I don't like the strained-sounding vocals at all, although I do like it when the guy sings in the higher pitch voice.... musically this song could beneifit from better production and some of the guitar parts almost sound like someone just playing around.
- thevillin1 from Warr Acres, Oklahoma on 24May2005

Extra Credit Awards
Originality-6
Stupidest Song Ever-3
Drums-2
Male Vocals-1
Guitars-1
Mood-1
Melody-1
Lyrics-1
Grooviest Rhythm-1
Most Bitter Break-Up Song-1

Hark! Hark! The Newsboys Dead was awarded Stupidest Song in Experimental Rock for the week of 6-06-05.

WALL OF SOUND

2005-06-04T01:29:00.000-04:00

You all knew the time would come when I would post the Buddha All-Stars landmark debut album, Wall of Sound, well nigh the time has arrived. Be the first on your block to own a free copy of this tour de force of human insanity. To give you a little back ground we once again speak to Scott "Tokyo" Lozon:

The Wall of Sound, were to start. Tonto Savalas were finishing up on their fifth album when the seeds of the Buddha All-Stars had started rising in my head. I wanted to go a different direction with things, get a little crazier if you know what I mean. So we started working on some material for the album while on a camping trip, we got back with the first four songs completed. Toss in a liberal amount of old tracks that were headed for the garbage and a couple of sessions in the basement, and poof theres an album lying in front of me.

Now this like all the Buddha All-Stars albums is a concept album about a character named J. The Jim in Taco Jim stands for J and the song is about a couple of kids seeing J walking the street looking like some crazed bum, which he was, the rest of the album explores how J got there. You see he was once just a young man playing music In The Garage (which turned out to be his first big hit), but then some bad drugs, bad women, and bad memories lead him down a path of self destruction. He lost his mind somewhere along the way. This is his story, from the starstruck teen idol beginnings to the crazy guy wandering the streets talking to himself end. This is crazy music, about crazy people, made by crazy people, for crazy people. Enjoy

The first half of the album is available for listening or downloading on DMusic.com. The second half will be available next weekend. And give me some dam feedback on the album. You can post in the comments your choice for the next album to go up. Thanks

Josephine

2005-06-03T01:28:00.000-04:00

Howdy
In our continuing series of songs being reviewed on GarageBand.com, we have made our way through the review cycle of "Josephine" here is all the info about the song and the reviews that it received. Reviewers are also able to give extra credit to certain elements of a song, a list of the extra credit awards will be shown after all the reviews. See you next time with, "Back From Nebraska".

Josephine(3:47)

Score 2.7 out of 5.0
#159 of 201 in Current Experimental Rock
#999 of 1455 in All-Time Experimental Rock

History
This song was written by Mick. It is either about Napolean and his wife or Mick's love for Anthony's Mom. Mick sings and plays the keys, Rob does some wonderful work on the violin, and Jeff is truly majestic with the moog. This song appears on the 1999 Tonto Savalas hit album, Manifesto.

Lyrics
Oh Josephine you're magnifique
I'll conquer countries for your love
Come Josephine you'll be my queen
We'll have the world and all of us
I may look short but babe I am not just a wart that grows on you
That lovely you
My Josephine you'll be my queen
Josephine you'll make my heart steam
Queen Josephine
Josephine
Josephine
Josephine
Josephine
Josephine

Reviews
Enough noise
Enough noise on the recording...I don't get the feeling for the"bad sung" vocals. I know that this man can do better than that. This improvisation would be superb in a club at 02.00 AM but not at a home studio. Lyrics are not tightening me to my chair. Josephine well has got too much of Morphine... Some VERY loud/compressed drums would do the miracle here. Try it! The idea with piano is OK, the synth also, but try to be a little less annoying.
- Pinbackfreak from Kerkrade, Limburg, Netherlands on 1Jun2005

Not bad!
I like this intro. Hard panning on the vocals? that's different. but not bad. Cool synth sound. Gets a little distracting after a while though. I think if it wasn't stuck in that left speaker it would be a little more effective. Good job on the ending. All in all, a pretty enjoyable listen.
- Ukeegold from Ucluelet, British Columbia, Canada on 29May2005

i like th eviolin? in the intro
the piano was really sad sounding but fit the song well. this reminds me of a buddy of mine, the electronic synth was cool but i would have liked to have it pan back and forth to both channels. are you a john frusciante fan? if not you should be and you should check niandra le des and usually just a t shirt plus any others you can get your hand s on. cool experimental track, keep it up
- rawkasaurusrex from Spokane, Washington on 28May2005

joseph...eeeeeeeeeee,nnnnnnnn?
creepy intro. the singer sucks most of the time, some hints here and there that are really good. Maybe sing well most of the time and throw some of those voice inflections in for spice. As a whole peice... it's lame.
- pleasemachine from Seattle, Washington on 27May2005

Hehe...this is a weird menu of tastes
Josephine's ode eh? I feel weird about this...I like the neat effects that complement the vocals...i.e. the warp out effect that whistles right with vocal changes...Another WEEN wannabe I would have to say...what is it with WEEn these days are they that wanted?? Pretty original besides that though...Pinao and phasers are coolish...
- damien_lucas from Valliant, Oklahoma on 27May2005

nice sound
i like the sound production so far. very haunting, and off kilter. nice sounds though. almost like a radiohead quality. i know bands hate when you say they sound like somebody, but hey at least i did'nt say garth brooks or something. good job guys
- moscas from Los Angeles, California on 26May2005

She doesn't love you anymore?
Me, myself and Josephine doesn't make a very great couple. Piano without any real touch, a dissonant violin and a stoned singer along with some orgastic ringmods - that is what this song consists of. The ambition is here allright, the improvs and some feeling but the craftmanship is terrible. The playing is lousy all the way and the singin' isn't even worth mentioning. Better luck next time.
- bluerat from Malmoe, Skane, Sweden on 25May2005

odd
This is quite odd to say the least... I like the contrast between the piano and the muted chaos that surrounds it. This is great, hope I can download it.
- MiltonPark from London, United Kingdom on 25May2005

tickled black
nice dark and moody arrangement, very fitting vocals as well. I liked this a lot its well balanced and keeps up interest through out making you want to listen. good effort!
- rraistrick from Germany on 25May2005

waterloo sunset
Simple , spooky , and evocative. Fairly haunting arrangement - love just the piano and sparse synth. The "twilight zone" theme was a nice touch (intentional or not) around the 2:00 mark or so when the song intensifies. The vocal style was appropriate although it seemed slightly contrived. Overall , a nice ride...
- harrysson from Hagerstown, Maryland on 24May2005

cool mix
this song sort of grew on me as it progressed. i dig the mix and vibe. feels like dark radio head. the vocals could be "fine tuned" slightly,but overall i like the mood
- saint_paul_slim from Minneapolis, Minnesota on 23May2005

No thanks.
Ooh, i love that out of tune string in the beginning! It is so ghostly. The piano is distant and sad, but I really have to critique the lyrics. They're effectively sad, but they are so difficult to swallow because of its deliberate out of tune melody. The directionless monophonic synth sound is so much more present than anything else, that I'm irritated more than enjoying it. Even if it's conceptual art, this is tough to really get into, because it's merely pushing away its audience. If that be the intention of the artist, then that was effective in its process. I would have been happy if it was just piano alone and nothing else.
- Shawnethegirl from Chicago, Illinois on 23May2005

creative
Initially, the instrumental beginning, piano and violin(?) reminds me of a NY band called the Books, neat sound effect during the second half of the first verse reminds me of an old Belle and Sebastian song. Love the manic sped up tempo midway through the song. Some may say the vocals are a little whiny, but to me they are heartfelt. If I heard this song with vocals and a typical guitar strum, I'd turn it off, but I really dig the instrumentation. The song never gets boring as the piano shifts and twists its way through the song. Good job.
- millerrocks from Unspecified on 23May2005

Haunting...
The piano at the beginning and even the vocals are haunting. Haunting yet very intriguing. Good lyrics here. And the keyboard effect is a bit trippy, but it really fits the song. Good to listen to, relaxing and dream-like. A lot of though went into this arrangement i think. well done!
- tanya_candler from London, Ontario, Canada on 23May2005

Interesting - like Tom Waits on helium
or the Eels - not quite sure which. It sure could use some kind of rhythm track - the moog stuff is probably the only thing that qualifies it as Experimental though...
- amigoboomer from Maple Valley, Washington on 23May2005

ok
Soft opening, nice piano sound. Vocals sound ok. The guy is pretty out of key though. The melody is alright. I don't particularly think the vocal melody meshes well with the piano line. I guess this experimental because of the weird sound effects over the chaotic piano towards the end. Otherwise it is more like a contemporary ballad. Not a bad song though.
- CraZyPickleZ from Edmonton, Alberta on 21May2005

vibe-full
I really enjoyed the whole vibe and feel that this track had going for it. the piano melody was really reflectfull, and even tense i would say sometimes. The production was top notch throughout the song, as well as the mix. The vocals were good with what sounded like perhaps a slight effect on them. I liked the electronic element to the song, which sounded like it was from another era- the electronic element really created some originality and gave the song a modern feel. The song had a lot of dynamics and atmosphere i felt, being quite tense sometimes, the ending though was a good 'complete' note. The whole song sounded very slow, especially with the vocal style, it certainly created a strong mood withing the song.
Nice work
- metal_martian from Bedford, Pennsylvania on 21May2005

what are you on can I have some?
what the hell it sounds like you fell asleep on your keyboard and were talking in your sleep
- syndicate19 from Unspecified on 21May2005

Clever by half
Nice piano. I'd like to sample it.
Love the synth sound not necessarily its use. It's always nice to dig up key historical figures and image how they would "serenade" their loves. Kudos on the cleverness of the idea
but the song is not so clever it self. I going to be a somebodies dad now and say it's a little lazy and not in a good way. I think the artist has more pontential than this it would be nice to see him live up to it. Start wood shedding.
- sam75 from Raleigh, North Carolina on 21May2005

lullaby/joke/???
So far this song is really relaxing and soft.. I can't tell if this is serious, like some guy screwed up and is now kissing some ass... or if its a joke... It could really do without that electronic noise...enough already with that noise, I'm only still listening to this out of sheer curiosity....maybe it'll go somewhere... maybe not.. that poor girl lol
- thevillin1 from Warr Acres, Oklahoma on 20May2005

Piano Meanderings
The simple piano line that begins this track blends itself with the a-tonal violin in the background, making for a slightly warm and admittedly autumn-esque kind of feel, like leaves falling out of the trees in the cool of evening. The vocals that enter into play could be a little more mapped out, however, and the singer sounds mildly intoxicated(however this works for other musicians at times). By the midway point, the digital dentist's drill that sounded nice upon entering the fray was beginning to become gratuitous, and the repeated cry of "josephine" was starting to seem slightly redundant, however i see the intended idea. The breakdown/piano freak-out towards the end also lent itself to becoming a little misplaced, however it was strange and spacious as well. All in all, the track needs to be cleaned up (there's a good bit of hiss in the mix), and the vox need to be revised, but listenable and fairly original.
- rburnam from Austin, Texas on 19May2005

ARE YOU KIDDIN?
OH JOSEPHINE, THIS IS HORRIBLE. CONQUER YOUR MUSIC BEFORE ANYTHING. THIS IS HORRID. PIANO IS DRAB.. THIS COULD BE A PORTISHEAD KIND OF SONG IF YOU BROUGHT SOME BEATS INTO THE MIX....THE MIDDLE PART IS ATROCIOUS. THAT PITCH BENDER IS RIPPIN MY HEAD IN TWO. MATURE IN YOUR MUSIC AND STAY OFF THE DOWNERS.
- TREYILDERTON from Charleston, West Virginia on 19May2005

Awful
I think somebody lied to this guy, told him he could sing. Awful lyrics, terrible voice, desperately ridiculous song. It sounds like it's been made up as it's went along, and then his mates uploaded it to garageband to embarass him. If you're scoring this review, do me a favour, hit PLAY and listen for 20 seconds. That's all you'll need, it's like that all the way through. Then score me.
- Simey from Belfast, United Kingdom on 19May2005

Great piano
I suppose the voice is totally out of tune on purpose, especially because of the quality of the recording and the song. The out of tune vocals may have something attractive for some people, but there's also people who like eating worms. The voice being out of tune irritates me even more because I really like the keys, both the synth and the piano, it's a great mix. I love when the piano goes nuts, changing rhythms and using discordant harmonies. It could have been the perfect song! The originality of the song makes me want to hear more of this band nonetheless, it really makes you curious, because they can't just do this, they must do other surprising things too.
- Adult_Life from Madrid, Spain on 19May2005

and so i came to pass...
i like the piano, sounding well rustique and played nice. The singer on the other hand is a bit TOO out of tune... when i say "too" i intend it to be understood as is its neat (and fit for the track) that he IS out of tune, but hes overdoing it. then at 0.46 enters a horrible pad in L channel - this is WAY WAY too loud in mix, and hurts my ears (only the left one obviously). what the pad is PLAYING is ok and fits nice with the song - its just that it is playing way too loud. Another thing is that when you have so few intruments it is never good to constrain them to ONE channel only - it gives a very unbalanced soundpicture, try making the track stereo and give them L-C or C-R to even the landscape while retatining the stereo feeling. Obviouslys this could be an ok song, but it will take som remixing/producing to get there, have fun =)
- AsgerH from Aarhus, Denmark on 19May2005

Extra Credit Awards
Keyboards-8
Originality-6
Mood-6
Stupidest Song Ever-3
Production-2
Male Vocals-1
Programming-1
Most Bitter Break-Up Song-1

Josephine was awarded Best Keyboards in Experimental Rock for the week of 5-23-05 and 5-30-05, it was also awarded Stupidest Song in Experimental Rock, for the week of 5-23-05.

Downloads and Ruben, Where Are You?

2005-05-28T10:55:00.000-04:00

Cello,
Ok we've been putting our albums up for download on DMusic.com, it's been a rewarding experience, we've been getting many nice comments and the statistics show that a lot of people have been checking out our music there.

On IC-Musicmedia we have a Tonto Savalas page and a Buddha All-Stars page, with 10 songs available on each, and starting next week they are going to have statistics for us. So keep checking out those sites for new music.

But we now have a new way for you to download songs and albums, go to our newsletter on GarageBand.com. You will be able to listen and download all of the songs we have put on GarageBand through here and I have the most recent Tonto Savalas album, Ruben, Where Are You?, available for listening and downloading.

Now I would like some feedback from any of you downloading our stuff to let me know which site works the best, quickest, and has the best sound quality. I plan on continuing to use all 3 sources, but all of them have their positives and negatives from my end. The newsletter is the easiest and possibly the quickest, but there are no statistics and I find them useful and interesting. As for Dmusic, the site isn't the easiest for changing songs often, but it does provide valuable stats and I think were getting a large audience of new people checking out our music that we wouldn't be getting on the other sites. IC is somewhat useless until the stats start and then I'll be able to see how often people are going there.

So just a little update on our downloading and listening capabilities, please give me some feedback, and again make sure to check out Ruben, Where Are You?, where the entire album is available for download as a single file or individual files.

Thank You, White Boy

2005-05-28T03:12:00.000-04:00

Hi,
In our continuing series of songs being reviewed on GarageBand.com, we have made our way through the review cycle of "Thank You, White Boy" here is all the info about the song and the reviews that it received. Reviewers are also able to give extra credit to certain elements of a song, a list of the extra credit awards will be shown after all the reviews. See you next time with, "Back From Nebraska or Josephine".

Thank You, White Boy(2:50)

Score 1.3 out of 5.0
#58 of 58 in Current Power Pop
#1525 of 1528 in All-Time Power Pop

History
This song was recorded the 2nd Mick and Rob were at the Kingsville house. All songs that night were recorded with some heavy effects and this song doesn't disappoint. Featuring the soulful singing and poignant lyrics of Rob, some beautiful bass playing by Jayfry, Mickey banging on his drums, and me laying down some heavy guitar. This song leads off the epic Tonto Savalas album, Book of Tonto, and was produced by Rob.

Lyrics
These lyrics are being held in a top secret lab of the pentagon, if interested go to www.cia.com.

Reviews
Incomprehensibly Distorted Vocals, Muddy Mix
I can't understand a word this guy is saying. The distortion on his voice is beyond overkill. Muddy mix overall. Drums and bass are played ok, but the song is going nowhere. What the hell is he saying? Don't you wanna gulrble num grimmle with me? There has got to be more to this song than that? Right? Wait . . . its over. Apparently not. I hope you guys didn't have a lot riding on this song. I have no choice but to give it a bad review. Sorry.
- Skepticus from San Antonio, Texas on 24May2005

OOOOHHH
This is not good guys. You need to remix this piece in a professional studio. Start over and rework the melody. The vocals should be clear..they become annoying after awhile. A bit more effort guys. Keep trucking, good luck.
- ToddMicheals from Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada on 24May2005

lessen the effects...
This is an example of when one part of a song distracts from the rest. Effects on vocals are common place today, but effects that thick throughout the entire song really distract from the rest of the song. Lyrics are impossible to understand. Are the effects compensating for something??? That's for you to determine. The rest of the song was uneventful. Make a few changes to the song (ie, make the chorus and verses distinct and maybe add a break or solo), and lessen the effects on the vocals.
- thecosmonauts from Little Rock, Arkansas on 24May2005

In the Garage
The vocals are way too distorted, even for a garage demo. Because of the distortion, I can hardly make out the lyrics. The vox are too high in the mix; drums and bass need to come up. It sounds like this was recorded off one mic. You need to have a mic on each instrument to control the balance. And watch your recording levels. Give it another try.
- maluko from Gastonia, North Carolina on 24May2005

???
???
- snowhite29 from Long Beach, California on 24May2005

Comedy
I don't know what to say about this. I guess some people have dreams to run to the top of the charts. This is 100 percent garbage.
- Mordicai from Unspecified on 23May2005

Mic in mouth
I don't understand the purpose of the song since it sounds like a bunch of kids who drank too much alcohol one night and decided to record a song. It's the worst song I've reviewed here and among the worst I've ever heard in my life. The only words I hear, since it sounds like the guy is eating up the microphone, is "thank you". I could say "thank you" right back if you would stop doing music and got another job.
- chrille from Stockholm, Sweden on 23May2005

odd intro
Where's that intro from? I'm curious. To be honest it was the best thing about the song, it's just all very odd to say the least, there was no distinct melody. I can't quite make out whether you are taking the piss or what, if you are then fair enough, if your not then you need to have a serious think as to what your actually trying to transmit. I can't hear any guitars, the production is really bad, and the drums are extremely sloppy. As for the vocals, what sound are you aiming for, it sounds like youre on dope.
- theroyle4 from United Kingdom on 23May2005

awful
ridiculous;awful;waste of good hard disk space;
- Hall from Unspecified on 23May2005 Distracting
The vocal effects are entirely too distracting and way too loud in the mix. They cover up the drums and other instruments. Not my cup of tea but for what it is, it is quite interesting.
- WeaponXman from Waco, Texas on 22May2005

unintelligible.
i like the sample at the start. i can't understand a bloody word this person is saying. how is this power pop, or even music. no offense, but don't quit your day job. this gave me a headache. if it was an attempt to be artsy, they failed miserably.
- tanya_candler from Canada on 20May2005

Too samey
I know the point is to make the vocal sound messed up - but it's swamping anything else. Even a small reduction in volume (without losing the distortion) would make a lot of difference. The backing sounds swampy and works nicely with the vocal, but this is far too repetitive - at least move around with the vocal to hold on to interest.
- maceo_ from Manchester, Lancashire, United Kingdom on 20May2005

stop
using weird effects on vocals that make the whole thing unbearable. If you can't sing let someone else do the job. Singing is about expressing yourself but there is a need that you have something to tell and that it has a chance to reach your audience. You've got a wall of effects between you and your audience that won't help at all. The Band isn't very experienced I guess but is going for a nice mood with a decent groove not too bad at all. Maybe a change to a second chord would help to keep it interesting. The way it is it is a one chord jam that isn't very impressing. Could be a decent lofi underground thingy if only...You get rid of this singer
Put some more ideas in your song structure
Good Luck
- benhigher from Berlin, Germany on 20May2005

Get Real
What in the world??? I'm not sure how I'm supposed to be constructive about this considering the fact that it doesn't even sound like you tried to make a legible peice of music. Sounds like somebody helped themselves to the bands instruments at a drunken party. The song doesn't go anywhere, the vocals have so much distortion on them,you can't hear a word,the same boring drum and bass line is being played through the entire song,you can hear people talking and laughing in the background.I'm sure you didn't expect to much from this. I hope.
- bubbsta_31 from Fort Wayne, Indiana on 19May2005

its garageband!
………Song:Trashy low-fi garageband!
………Technical/Production:
I was going to say terrible…but I listened again…it’s trashy, but it’s suppose to be? Did I get it? The drums are out of time, and the vocals are distorted. The loop in the intro sets the mood, but goes on for quite a while .20 seconds?
………Band asked for comments on: Nothing
………Vocals
Very distorted and drunken sounding. Flanging/modulated sound thoughout.
………Drums
Finds it hard to keep timing…no impact of passion in playing.
………My Summary:
This was in the pop/rock mix. This doesn’t fit is, as it’s very trashy, but that could be a good thing if your going for it. If you are? Then top marks to you as it really is a true ‘gargeband’ song in the truest sense!
I don’t know why, but as its so bad id listen to this again. ?? werid eh.
- ontheborderline from Www.Ontheborderline.Com on 19May2005

Not working fellas
Hmm, the vocal effect is a joke. Not only can I not understand what your saying, I have a sneaking suspicion you're not saying anything at all. You're clearly trying to be funny, as this isn't a very serious attempt at a song, so perhaps you should have posted this in "comedy". It's not working, in fact it's annoying beyond all words.
- BillyReid from Victoria, Canada on 19May2005

omg.
well, this was a weird experience. it was artistic, but not my kind of music. experimental can be good, but i dont know if i liked this too much. sounds like it was recorded in a trashcan.
- mouf from Ume�, Sweden on 19May2005

Interesting... maybe.
Blue velvet...no not the song, but the movie. Nice sample from it to start your song.
Very distorted vocals and whiny/snarly vocals. I have no idea what the singer is saying. Drums and guitar sound like something from an unreleased Beck song.
The melody isn't that engaging to me, or might be more inclined to listen to the inaudible singing.
There's a definite groove here that might be cool if I was drunk on a 7 day bender of Jack Daniels and Jager shots. I'm sure there's an audience for this, unfortunately it might only be the members of the band. But I applaud your effort to try something expermimental, at least.
- DonaldDarko from Middlesex, Virginia on 18May2005

Daniel Johnston?
Whats hits me is the Daniel J feeling, homemade and a little bit brilliant. Can't say I get the lyrics, but that probably the way it should be. The beats and mood a cool. The bassline works with the mood and with the beat of the drums.
- Declined from Oslo, Norway on 18May2005

WOW !!!!!
something, something, WHITE BOY !!! I don't know how this comedy tune got into the "power pop" but this is funny stuff! drums sure have a "live" feel to them although bass sounds like loops (lol)...
- ShallowCreek from Breezy Point, New York on 18May2005

Why?
I really don't know what to say. A part of me would honestly like to beleive that this is only a way of expressing one self in an extremely artistic manner, but I can't bring myself to do that. The recording quality is terrible, but has just enough clarity to hear the uncertain and wawering playing of the bass and drums... as they stagger to keep the song going, the "vocalis" mumbles something quite unexplanable in a voice put through such a distortion it might just as well be a bagpipe. It's hard to say whether there is actual tallent there or not, as the band doesn't even try.
And the beginning... shouting "let's fuck" to the beginning of this kind of a song is just awfull.
- Samu2 from Helsinki, Finland on 18May2005

Extra Credit Awards
Stupidest Song Ever-2
Originality-2
Guitars-1
Mood-1
Bass-1
Beat-1

Thank You, White Boy was awarded the Stupidest Song in Power Pop for the week of, 5-30-05.

I also failed to mention that Thank You, White Boy was Track of the Day in Power Pop on May 21st, 2005.

Nico's Dead, Nico's Dead

2005-05-26T00:26:00.000-04:00

How ya doin?
In our continuing series of songs being reviewed on GarageBand.com, we have made our way through the review cycle of "Nico's Dead, Nico's Dead" here is all the info about the song and the reviews that it received. Reviewers are also able to give extra credit to certain elements of a song, a list of the extra credit awards will be shown after all the reviews. See you next time with, "Back From Nebraska or Thank You, White Boy or Josephine".

Nico's Dead, Nico's Dead(4:14)

Score 2.4 out of 5.0
#178 of 197 in Current Experimental Rock
#1212 of 1437 in All-Time Experimental Rock

History
Nico's Dead, Nico's Dead is a song written, played (guitar), and produced by Jeff Archer with a little help from Mick-Drums, Rob-Vocals, Scott-Bass. It appeared on the hit Tonto Savalas album, Manifesto, and was an instant classic. Contact Jeff Archer at sonicworkshop@comcast.net for more info.

Lyrics
Contact Jeff Archer at sonicworkshop@comcast.net for more info.

Reviews
song review
take everything you own as a band and go to your local pawn shop and get as much of your money back as you can you guys suck and i have never said that to a band before
- MalakiShawn from Tampa, Florida on 19May2005

I'm scared!
Well, THIS is experimental. As with most experimental rock songs, there are things I like more than others. I like how the lyrics go with the overall feeling of the song. I think the beginning is pretty good, with the banshee guitar and the bass. The guitar in the back at the end of the song is for me the best part of this song, very rocking. The song would be much better with some production. The drummer is original. Now some things I dig less: the guitar solo is a little uncompensated for my taste. The song structure doesn't build up, there's not much progression.
- Adult_Life from Madrid, Spain on 19May2005

Hmm...
For the first minutes this sounds more like someone just playing around on a guitar than a song.. The vocals need to be much clearer, I really don't like this song much at all, The solo-ish thing that starts about 2:00 is probably the best thing this song has going for it.. Mostly its the vocals that turn me off of this song, Its not horrible but its not good either..
- thevillin1 from Warr Acres, Oklahoma on 18May2005

Pink Fairies Tribute
Nice fucking feedback there at the beginning--humable! Odd as hell, but I love the bass and drums behind it, like a really trippy march, and it builds. Now it's like some down and dirty Pink Fairies shit; it's great. Samples or vocalist? Good effect at any rate but I think you could do so much more. Like the progressions by the lead guitarist, not too standard but could use a little more psychotic tension. Great back beat, good rhythm riff, but again, the vocals are a little weak, you need to experiment a little more with that. Great fucking drums and feedback, I could listen to that shit all night!
- Middies from Chattanooga, Tennessee on 18May2005

Gooseflesh!
Feedback ! yes! What a guitar! thats the way to treat that instrument! the drums are cool played. Sounds like its improvised. I like the toughness in the voice. This is very original, very fresh and openminded music.
- jomkka from Stockholm, Sweden on 18May2005

Bubbling Bass, Distorted Amp Face, Killer Ech..
Uh...this starts out a little monotonous...Feedback is pretty cool but this get's old after over a minute of nothing but feedback from the amp...Weird vocals. Reminds me of Charles Manson's song "Feelings Begin To Growing". This helps because I like Manson's stuff...Cool guitar licks in the middle of the track. Bass is thumping pretty smooth on my system...After all of the feedback, the song is better... If I were you, I'd try to at least get a little bit of change or dynamics going on with this. Experimental is ok but really experiment. Get creative. Playing the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and ov er is not experimental, it's annoying. You have potential though... I'll be watching for newer material inthe future...
OK...2 outta 5
- damien_lucas from Valliant, Oklahoma on 17May2005

Fun
cool. want to hear the screaming guiatrs closer in front of the mix. like the echoey barely inteligible voice. Everything sounds very far away - like I am listening to it through a floor or a door. Wow, guitar lead is old school, some serious talent there. Sounds like you guys are having fun just wacking around.
- smallshot from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania on 17May2005

so I�m suppossed to go where?
Interesting intro, feels like being thrown into a battle-field sometime after a huge chaotic duel between good and evil. Ha, then you suddenly throw in a metal-riff...strange...but could work, with a little more time in the studio, some production adjustments and stuff. hmm, Ok..this was a strange experience, experimental?..yes, but I never really found what you guys were trying to say, somehow the message drowned in lack of coherence and an overall smack-in-the-face-musical expression.
- mkkkL from Odense, Fyn, Denmark on 17May2005

production
A nice intro. But the production is kind of so-so. I love the drum and the noisy guitar. The bass is kind of hard to hear, and there's some clipping. It's kind of mixed really badly. when the song really kicks in (at about 1 min) everything is blurred and nothing is really listenable. We hear the vocals and the guitar solo but that's it. The production is totally horrible. Need a lot more work, since it's really hard to hear the song as it is.
- desertedparking from Quebec, Canada on 16May2005

This has been a long time coming
I've got to appraise this song for what it is: a flat-out, raw, guitar-laiden jam tune that Mr. Hendrix himself might have been proud of. Unfortunately, the vocals weren't clear enough for me to get a picture of what was trying to be conveyed there. Nonetheless, thanks to the fun and viruosity that the guitar parts exuded, backed up by some nice drumming (was there a bass guitar anywhere here?) this is a tune that just keeps giving.
- mhe from Syracuse, New York on 16May2005

unique
effortless stoner rock. interesting story...although some lyrics are hard to hear because of production. the lead guitar work is explosive and melodic. very interesting effect work with around the 3: 45 mark. this is a good jam altogether. since this is under experimental i would prefer to recommend this rather than critique. its very cool when you're in that pink floyd mode. like it!
- plasticpeople from Portland, Oregon on 15May2005

Hmmm....interesting
This seems like it was a very creative idea that got kind of got muddled in production. It had some great parts like the guitar and the sample or spoken word in the middle, but they were muddy and in the background compared to the random noises and beat. Also somewhat repetitive towards the end.
- LennonTheBand from Northville, Michigan on 15May2005

Hot guitar in the center of my brain
Hey some feedback, where's Jimi Hendrix? Nice control of the feedback, maybe it could have been a tad more interesting. Maybe its a tad too well controlled. I like the approach. It is quite unique. I really like the jazzy drumming. Hey, I'm digging the guitars too. There is nothing boring about this. The guitars are very overheated and in the center of my brain while the the vocals are very cool and floating in the upper left, which makes a unique contrast. I expect this performer would always manage to surprize me.
- MostlyBlues from Hamtramck, Michigan on 15May2005

lackluster at best
I thought the feedback and wammie bar intro went a little long, almost to the point of stopping the song. Once the song kicked in, I did enjoy the guitar riff and the tone. The drums are pretty solid throughout. The vocals are wayyyy too loud and just don't sound like any effort was put into them; no emotion or thought to the lyrics. I dig experimental stuff, but, overall, I feel like you didn't really put any effort into this song.
- Allen_White from Austin, Texas on 14May2005

Shower of Abandoned Drive-ins
Go see a movie all by yourself. At night. With grandma's afghan over your head. You peer out of the holes at the light projected onto the screen. Its a bit cold, getting even more so. No popcorn, nor soda. This song describes exactly the feeling building up inside your mind as the frames chatter by. A building anticipation for anything to happen. Nor are there witnesses. Your in on this one all by yourself. The melody prescribed in this song has many moods lying in layers beneath. The longer you listen, the more of them rise up and fill you with the dark image.
I was expecting a lyrical cataclysm to finally erupt the cascading wall of sound, but it never came. I finished this song with my nails dug into my chair side, released back into a somewhat normal world. The trip was quite introspective but somewhere I feel I should have been raped back there, but wasnt.
- cbiemeck from Racine, Wisconsin on 14May2005

Not really
Hey guys, intro is too long, and what follows is really too simplistic to my taste. Sounds like 70's, revisited but a basement practice with anything goes. Couldn't get into into this.
And I love the 70's, but somthing that sounds like work was put into it...not this! Yes for 70's but work at it!!
- axworth from Montreal, Quebec, Canada on 14May2005

Nice ideas, poor performance and sound
Nice ideas, interesting and dynamic. Performance is not that tight, drum fills are weak, bass really needs to do much more. Rhythm guitar is lacking power in both sound and playing, and after a couple of minutes the lead is just wandering around and loosing my interest. Needs a tighter performance, less muddy sound. It got my interest at the start and I was expecting it to really go places but it just stayed around the same theme.
- Simey from Belfast, United Kingdom on 14May2005

Rumbling
Another home recording from some guys trying to make it in the biz. Someone gave this guy a whammy bar for christmas and he sure loves to use it. Common, gimme something to listen to. Oh, now, a guy talks to me, through a dozen of reverbs and fx-pedals. Drummer seems very non-confident with his playing and the performance is sloppy and stiff. Guitarist knows how to play many notes at once. This could be a funny song if it was decent recorded and that's what i advice you guys to do: get yourself some proper gear!
- bluerat from Malmoe, Skane, Sweden on 14May2005

Your experimenting
Ok so you got some great pan work down with the left to center in the begining of this track..I would just recomend to make it a bit more subtle or hit me with a wave of violent noise when you pan back to center....When I say violent, what I mean is hard...like the hard tones you have on that lead and all that crunchy distortion on the guitar. That was nice...Wammy bar and all. Sounds like a drug induced jam session. At the 3:37 mark you have somthing special going on and its to bad you had to end the song with it, the distorted electric guitar struming that came in on the left side of my headphones sounded like eirly "Sonic Youth" work. You see this element was so good I think you should expand on that through the whole song...try switching up from that distortion to a weird clean or weird empty hallow sound with feed back or somthing and it would be even more progressive.
- slowminded from Park Row, Texas on 13May2005

Oops!
I little too experimental. A bit annoying. Change the drum rhythm to something a little harder and bring the spoken word part in much earlier. Tone that whirring sound down just a notch and give the peice more of an overall format. This could become something, but I think it just sounds like some warm up at this point.
- DaddyOmega from Pawtucket, Rhode Island on 13May2005

intro is likey
i really liked the guitar intro on this. i think it should have gone somewhere other than that noise a lot sooner than it did or else this would have been much more enjoyable especially without the vocals
- rawkasaurusrex from Spokane, Washington on 7May2005

Noise Rock
The beginning reminds me of Noise Rockers like Sonic Youth but with shades of Hendrix's improvs from Woodstock in moments in the soloing. Interesting darkness in the vocal tone, sounds like he's speaking Geman. The drummer keeps the groove pretty well too. Nice uptempo solo work on the guitar. Brooding track here. I'd like to hear it produced slightly bettered, perhaps mastered, because there are several intersting elements hear that could shine better if polished.
- Alcibiades from New Haven, Connecticut on 7May2005

Dont Get It
The metal influence with distorted rapping and flanged solo elude to appeal but do attempt to compile several distinct eras in which some ways works. The lo-fi recording helps with the presentation. Interesting.
- hairshow from Unspecified on 4May2005

Extra Credit Awards
Originality-8
Guitars-7
Mood-6
Drums-4
Production-3
Male Vocals-2
Beat-1
Stupidest Song Ever-1

Synch Floyd

2005-05-22T11:26:00.000-04:00

Have you ever heard of the ironic, strange, and some would say imaginary relationship between Pink Floyd's "Dark Side Of The Moon" and "The Wizard Of Oz". Have you ever thought to yourself, "I wonder what other Pink Floyd music can be synch'ed with films?" Well here is the answer to your question.

Phantasmagoric Kaleidoscope Part 2

2005-05-21T14:02:00.000-04:00

The second half of the Buddha All-Stars album, Phantasmagoric Kaleidoscope, tracks 25-39, is now available for listening or downloading. Check here to learn about the story behind the album. The Tonto Savalas album, Ruben, Where Are You?, will be available next weekend.

Who Loves Ya, Baby?

2005-05-18T22:07:00.000-04:00

First let me state that this is truly for members of the band who tend to get a little down after a few bad reviews, or should I say a few hundred bad reviews, but all are welcome to check it out. What it is, is a collection of reviews by people who truly seemed to enjoy our music. We all know that our music isn't really intended for a mass audience, so we must seek out a devoted following of weirdos like us. I will be adding to this regularly so check the link on our hub site regularly, and now for the reviews (as of 7-05-05):

Funky Tummy
The devil has a banjo and its out of tune.
Tune in fellas but I think you will tell me it is the way god intended. They are playing into a small 4 track recorder maybe. Excellent, truly excellent it sounds like the velvet underground but cooler. Lou Reed would donate all his worldy wealth to sound as good as these robots. What a tune! I love things that sound like Lou Reed and The Velvets. They changed the world but didnt have a guitar tuner!
- vontrapp from Abergele, Conwy, United Kingdom on 18Jun2005

sonic youth meets hangover
i don't consider this comedy as much as just crazy. not that its not cool, i'm just not laughing-or even smiling. however, i do really like the raw feel of the mix while retaining instrument clarity. this could be cool live. and what the hell happened at about 3:50 or so? that was killer. i'd like to know what that sound is and how you got it. nice twist.
- saint_paul_slim from Minneapolis, Minnesota on 14Jun2005

Crackhead Stew
I put your song on
People talking at the beggining...sounds lie it was from a movie or something...I like the distortion on the vocals...and the sund fx..the paaning effects are good..."i put your shoes on"....cool man, cool...The lyrics are hilarious...id consider putting this in the comedy section...lmao...POTATOHEAD....HA
I like the part where he says marijuana...then the song just tottaly changes...ah this is great, 5 out of 5....lol...I truly love it...funny as hell too!
- nosemint from Glen Rock, Pennsylvania on 16Jun2005

Shotgun Shack Partytime
"Potatoe headed Bobby was a friend of mine". Truly bizarre and hilarious. Quite satisfactory in the laughter department. The little known WWF sponsor of a child's toy. The music here was very anally expulsive, very free and flowing. Definitely inspired by the influences of some kind of opiate sandwiched between some sort of other narcotic then ingested somehow. I kept hoping you'd get back to potatoe-headed Bobby. I couldn't tell if you were making fun of stoners or agrandizing them. Maybe it could be a little clearer what you're going for. Over-all, I enjoyed the experimentation. The intonation was obviously deliberate and worked well on the peice of canvas that this was. Better recordings of SOME of the parts might be useful in tempering this one.
-Marshmallow Man
- splendorlex from Chicago, Illinois on 13Jun2005

screaming lord beefheart
First 2:00 were great what with the ? and the Mysterians keyboard action and the totally psychotic vocals. The next part was sort of early Flaming Lip type action. Didn't really like the last part -seemed a little too RHCP or something. Interesting mix of styles though. A fairly disturbing number which I'm pretty sure is the intention here - so an excellent job overall.
- harrysson from Hagerstown, Maryland on 11Jun2005

funny. very funny.
Well, the intro is kind of interesting. Crazily panning shouting and stuff. Then a creepy keyboard riff comes in, and then some strange vocals come in about...being a Mr. Potatohead doll? What the hell? I pull your legs off, I pull your eyes. This is by far the stupidest song I thing I've ever heard. But I love it! It's pure chaos and noise! POTATOHEAD! Then around 1:45, the yelling about potatohead stops, and then...what? Strummed acoustic guitar chords? That's definitely a mood shift. Then you start singing about something that seems vaguely sexual...wait, is this about looking at a girl changing through her window? Man, that's just a little bit creepy. But it's funny, especially over the nice ballad-like guitar riff. Then it stops and you here the work fuck over and over. This is quite possibly one of the most unpredictable songs. Then a bunch of random squeaking comes in and starts talking about humping a monkey? THere hand's too big? Wow...this is really funny. Usually, I would hate this and tell you to quit being so immature. Then it goes into a riff that reminds me of the red hot chili peppers, only not quite as good. I'm really not sure what to say about this. Is it genius? Or is it just simply retarded. I really can't tell. All I know is that I like the potatohead part...
- applesandvodka from Misplaced Commas, Are Fun on 11Jun2005

I Need You
Excellent
This is great. Its very good rhythm. The story and the lyrics really say a lot. The guitar is very expressive. The bass is subtle and compliments the story and the feeling very well. The recording is adiquate. You could use a boost of about 3 or 4 db at the 30hrz. overall to brighten the whole song. very nice guys.
- justindr660 from Tuebingen, California, Germany on 14Jun2005

Original
Neat song! Like a classic 60's love song, but played in a clunky, clangy way. I like the singer's voice. This song might be neat in a movie soundtrack. It's funny, the vocal/instrumental harmony reminds me at times of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars (Bowie). Good song, keep it up.
- J_D_Abram from Quadra Island, British Columbia, Canada on 10Jun2005

This song is gonna take you to the top
What the friar is going on here? This is incredible - I'm surprised you guys haven't been snapped up by Song or Geffen yet. Nice lyric 'without me you'll drown in your pee' - incredible use of rhyme there. The guitar playing and singing is exquisite. By the sounds of it you ate a few too many magic mushrooms and then simply pressed play on your tape player. You guys certainly made me smile - although you may have anger management issues. Nice one.
- ElectraMatt from London, United Kingdom on 8Jun2005

HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH MY GOD - ELVIS MEETS THE WEDDING SINGER!
PURE GENIUS!
Best song I've heard all day.
Thank you!
- kwilson from United Kingdom on 7Jun2005

Squirrel Cat
Experimental at it's best!!!
Atmospheric Captain Beefhart. Awesome! The mix is fascinating and intoxicating. Etheral spirits jumping out of the speakers to mess with your head. What an amazing composistion. Truly original and captivating.
- americanrust from Stanchfield, Minnesota on 12Jun2005

Capt. Beefheart lives!
Experimental... Wild-sounding. Trippin, man...I liked what most people probably overlook. Keep up the awesome stuff... It takes balls and dedication, so best of luck
- SonicM from Tucker, Georgia on 11Jun2005

Say What?
This is super cool. I mean, sure I don't know what's going on, but I don't care. it's like a mix of life. it's not a song, it's a movement.
- imonfireburn from Calgary, Alberta, Canada on 8Jun2005

Noise rock Yes
Very nice this is right up my alley enjoyed it very much. liked the bell sound the way the spoken word was broken up 2:31 seconds well spent production was nice to. I am guessing your a patton fan or atleast i am hoping however if you are not i suggest checking him out also check out some of my own projects on here they will soon be uplaoded check them out as i will be looking into more of your stuff look forward to hearing more thank you
- Tones757 from Pinckney, Michigan on 8Jun2005

vocals
Loving those vocals. Is taht a uke going on there in the background? NOt much song structure gong on here, but i like it, an interesting listen. I'd love to see this live, man it owuld be hard to pull off. Some crazy sounds going on in there. This would be great in a movie scene if the lead character started having flashbacks.
- nilsprotractor from Canada on 8Jun2005

Sweeter than sweet love
Reversed, hmm, shrill voices, reversed again. I hear some nice mudded guitars, tapped, plucked, hit. Distorted and crooked all the way and he "just wanna be my friend". Well, you can be my friend for sure and i love to invite you to our next schwan-session. You'd be perfect!
- bluerat from Malmoe, Skane, Sweden on 6Jun2005

Return to the pod
Definitely experimental- no chance of you being in the wrong category. The guitar tone and spoken word style remind me of Ween's The pod. I would really like to hear this after a long night of self abuse with a pair of headphones- you have successfully trancended the mainstream plane- good job!
- freshpants from Carrollton, Georgia on 6Jun2005

Love this
definitely insane. Laughed my ass off. stimulated and want to go back and play this while on acid. Were you on it when you recorded this. What do I comment on... nice space noises, distorted morphed slowed down demon voice? Experimental fo sho
- UVeez from Piedmont, California on 5Jun2005

I like crazyness.
I'm kind of partial to the chaotic, loud, crazyness sound in general, so, I like this on a certain level. It's recorded way too loud, and none of the instruments come through, but, who cares. It's obviously intended to be abrasive and it works for me. So, there.
- Allen_White from Austin, Texas on 4Jun2005

Hark! Hark! The Newsboys Dead
Fun!
I'm liking this stuff. It's chaotic, has moments where I think it's going to become perfectly coherent, then it goes off into times where it's got sort of an insane melody going. That extremely low tone is reminding me of some of the music from the early Star Trek movies, sounds like this is the bass line! It's cool, has a very ominous thing going. This is like Primus mixed with Yes, very intriguing sound. The lyrics are very bizarre, but still interesting. The song has a pretty nifty groove to it, seems like it has a consistent flow amongst the chaos. The guitarist really draws out some notes, making for some really cool expression. The drums are solid and played nicely. Nice outro too... Good work.
- bhodges01 from Stillwater, Oklahoma on 25May2005

Josephine
i like th eviolin? in the intro
the piano was really sad sounding but fit the song well. this reminds me of a buddy of mine, the electronic synth was cool but i would have liked to have it pan back and forth to both channels. are you a john frusciante fan? if not you should be and you should check niandra le des and usually just a t shirt plus any others you can get your hand s on. cool experimental track, keep it up
- rawkasaurusrex from Spokane, Washington on 28May2005

Hehe...this is a weird menu of tastes
Josephine's ode eh? I feel weird about this...I like the neat effects that complement the vocals...i.e. the warp out effect that whistles right with vocal changes...Another WEEN wannabe I would have to say...what is it with WEEn these days are they that wanted?? Pretty original besides that though...Piano and phasers are coolish...
- damien_lucas from Valliant, Oklahoma on 27May2005

nice sound
i like the sound production so far. very haunting, and off kilter. nice sounds though. almost like a radiohead quality. i know bands hate when you say they sound like somebody, but hey at least i did'nt say garth brooks or something. good job guys
- moscas from Los Angeles, California on 26May2005

odd
This is quite odd to say the least... I like the contrast between the piano and the muted chaos that surrounds it. This is great, hope I can download it.
- MiltonPark from London, United Kingdom on 25May2005

tickled black
nice dark and moody arrangement, very fitting vocals as well. I liked this a lot its well balanced and keeps up interest through out making you want to listen. good effort!
- rraistrick from Germany on 25May2005

waterloo sunset
Simple , spooky , and evocative. Fairly haunting arrangement - love just the piano and sparse synth. The "twilight zone" theme was a nice touch (intentional or not) around the 2:00 mark or so when the song intensifies. The vocal style was appropriate although it seemed slightly contrived. Overall , a nice ride...
- harrysson from Hagerstown, Maryland on 24May2005

cool mix
this song sort of grew on me as it progressed. i dig the mix and vibe. feels like dark radio head. the vocals could be "fine tuned" slightly,but overall i like the mood
- saint_paul_slim from Minneapolis, Minnesota on 23May2005

creative
Initially, the instrumental beginning, piano and violin(?) reminds me of a NY band called the Books, neat sound effect during the second half of the first verse reminds me of an old Belle and Sebastian song. Love the manic sped up tempo midway through the song. Some may say the vocals are a little whiny, but to me they are heartfelt. If I heard this song with vocals and a typical guitar strum, I'd turn it off, but I really dig the instrumentation. The song never gets boring as the piano shifts and twists its way through the song. Good job.
- millerrocks from Unspecified on 23May2005

Haunting...
The piano at the beginning and even the vocals are haunting. Haunting yet very intriguing. Good lyrics here. And the keyboard effect is a bit trippy, but it really fits the song. Good to listen to, relaxing and dream-like. A lot of though went into this arrangement i think. well done!
- tanya_candler from Canada on 23May2005

vibe-full
I really enjoyed the whole vibe and feel that this track had going for it. the piano melody was really reflectfull, and even tense i would say sometimes. The production was top notch throughout the song, as well as the mix. The vocals were good with what sounded like perhaps a slight effect on them. I liked the electronic element to the song, which sounded like it was from another era- the electronic element really created some originality and gave the song a modern feel. The song had a lot of dynamics and atmosphere i felt, being quite tense sometimes, the ending though was a good 'complete' note. The whole song sounded very slow, especially with the vocal style, it certainly created a strong mood withing the song.
Nice work
- metal_martian from Bedford, Pennsylvania on 21May2005

Thank You, White Boy
Daniel Johnston?
Whats hits me is the Daniel J feeling, homemade and a little bit brilliant. Can't say I get the lyrics, but that probably the way it should be. The beats and mood a cool. The bassline works with the mood and with the beat of the drums.
- Declined from Oslo, Norway on 18May2005

Back From Nebraska
hmmm....
this song was made me feel like i was having a peanut butter enema. very uncomfortable the whole time. please dont make this music anymore.
- sabonisthresh from Mesa, Arizona on 7Jun2005

Latte please... with a tab of acid
Freaky man. I can't say that I'd have an attention span worthy of your album, but I'm sure you've got a diverse collection of songs to throw out there. The vocal gets its job done. The guitar gets its job done. Everything gets its job done. If I were to be in a culinary academy, I would be the guy trying to talk you out of using PCP as an ingredient in a meat pie, while thinking to myself "Man, I hope he does it. That'd be cool, I just don't want to take responsibility for it."
- cheddarfreak from San Francisco, California on 4Jun2005

if you go down to the woods today...
this is a wonderfully depressive sound, that sturs conatations of willy mason's song writing without faith. it is the kind of thing everyone would listen to if there were no prozac. the music altough arguably simple needs nothing extra as it is simply eerie. supurb concept of with the cresendo of twisted and disturbing sounds, including the eeire guitar and the backing 'vocals' perhaps there could be more veriation in the lyrics, although the repation does add to the neurotic sound. simply eerie.
- everyoneelse from London, England, United Kingdom on 3Jun2005

That wacky Nebraska
The dissonant chord progression is cool, definitely different. The vocals have a very raw quality. While they're following the dissonance path, they seem to be doing so in their own randomly chosen keys. Not sure if that's what you were going for, but it kinda works. Nice "caws", not sure what they're representative of, but I'm all for random quirky sounds in recordings. While I don't ever see this attaining any sort of great commercial success, I can definitely see a small market for it. Mainly for the freaks that're looking for something completely different to listen to. Good Luck!
- ARMSOFTHESUN from Phoenix/Tempe, Arizona on 18May2005

totally unexpected!!
this is why i love the indie rock genre. you are going along, listening to very traditional sounds, and then...BAM!!! something hits you like a train...this inticing song for instance!!
wonderful originality. i know the sound you are going for so i won't criticize a thing. i'm sure you might be getting some reviews that don't sit too well because this song takes so much risk. the looseness (is that a word? shit, whatever) of the whole track is incredible. it lets me slip in and out of all that's going on, getting a full veiw of each element. keep it up, PLEASE!!! music needs you!
- daleylauren from Dade City, Florida on 17May2005

IN your face
guys...
this is the weirdiest song I've heard in a while now...
it rocks.
please give me your address, I'll send you a guitar tuner...
no, just kidding. I like those weird out of tune guitars and feel.
all original chords.
nice effects on the vocals (is that what this is?) and the lyrics are way different.
you guys are onto something. when is your next show?
this should be the anthem of all the states in the world
- MothersAnger from San Francisco, California on 16May2005

Nico's Dead, Nico's Dead
Pink Fairies Tribute
Nice fucking feedback there at the beginning--humable! Odd as hell, but I love the bass and drums behind it, like a really trippy march, and it builds. Now it's like some down and dirty Pink Fairies shit; it's great. Samples or vocalist? Good effect at any rate but I think you could do so much more. Like the progressions by the lead guitarist, not too standard but could use a little more psychotic tension. Great back beat, good rhythm riff, but again, the vocals are a little weak, you need to experiment a little more with that. Great fucking drums and feedback, I could listen to that shit all night!
- Middies from Chattanooga, Tennessee on 18May2005

Gooseflesh!
Feedback ! yes! What a guitar! thats the way to treat that instrument! the drums are cool played. Sounds like its improvised.
I like the toughness in the voice.
This is very original, very fresh and openminded music.
- jomkka from Stockholm, Sweden on 18May2005

Fun
cool. want to hear the screaming guiatrs closer in front of the mix. like the echoey barely inteligible voice. Everything sounds very far away - like I am listening to it through a floor or a door. Wow, guitar lead is old school, some serious talent there. Sounds like you guys are having fun just wacking around.
- smallshot from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania on 17May2005

This has been a long time coming
I've got to appraise this song for what it is: a flat-out, raw, guitar-laiden jam tune that Mr. Hendrix himself might have been proud of. Unfortunately, the vocals weren't clear enough for me to get a picture of what was trying to be conveyed there. Nonetheless, thanks to the fun and viruosity that the guitar parts exuded, backed up by some nice drumming (was there a bass guitar anywhere here?) this is a tune that just keeps giving.
- mhe from Syracuse, New York on 16May2005

unique
effortless stoner rock. interesting story...although some lyrics are hard to hear because of production. the lead guitar work is explosive and melodic. very interesting effect work with around the 3: 45 mark. this is a good jam altogether. since this is under experimental i would prefer to recommend this rather than critique. its very cool when you're in that pink floyd mode. like it!
- plasticpeople from Portland, Oregon on 15May2005

Hot guitar in the center of my brain
Hey some feedback, where's Jimi Hendrix? Nice control of the feedback, maybe it could have been a tad more interesting. Maybe its a tad too well controlled.
I like the approach. It is quite unique. I really like the jazzy drumming. Hey, I'm digging the guitars too. There is nothing boring about this. The guitars are very overheated and in the center of my brain while the the vocals are very cool and floating in the upper left, which makes a unique contrast. I expect this performer would always manage to surprize me.
- MostlyBlues from Hamtramck, Michigan on 15May2005

Billy The Killer
I like the desprate monkey sounds
Very funny with with your vocals and whatever that was in the background...maybe a rusty doornob or somthing. Your music is making me feel very dark and drunk...or retarded. Its that kind of retarded kid that you worry about cuz your not quite sure if hes going to explode on you or not. Keep on polishing and developing your sound.
- slowminded from Park Row, Texas on 10May2005

Retarded Sadnessmess
The band reminds me of Animal Collective and The Books, creating a mood out of acoustics and disparate elements to create something that is at the very least something, and probably something special. The cry-ish opening minutes are the best bits, but it only gets more unpredictable from there. Unpredictability is the song's greatest strengh, along with a sense of humor, as well as, of course, originality and daring. Keep this stuff up and find the correct boundary between silly and camp and you've really got something.
- gcrandal from Ingleside, Illinois on 7May2005

Opening almost sounded like Native Chants......
Acoustic Guitar is cool...what the hell? Weird howls and screams... In unison with each other...
Ween is coming out here in fumes...
Reaks of the Green Jelly curse upon men...
This is definitely Experimental Rock in its highest form...
Hehe this is fun as hell...I have to listen to every bit of it...
Coo Coo Coo Coo
- damien_lucas from Valliant, Oklahoma on 4May2005

spazooo
Kinda improvisational expression. Very out of tune. But very funny. Some of the wails are quite soulful. The flutey sound is a nice touch. Its pretty disturbing. The way the vocals are talking over each other. You crazy nut cases.
- plattishness from Preston, England, United Kingdom on 4May2005

Catlike cries and squeaks
Awesome noise and caterwauling like I have seldom heard save from mental patients at the Austin State Hospital where I work. The little story about Jimmy in the middle of this "music" perfects the illusion of being on the porch, drunk, perhaps on mushrooms, while these (two?) talented artistes play off each other's rambling improvisations in the wee hours of the morning. Simple guitar repetition in the last third, combined with sick warbling had me in stiches. Some good work, men. Keep it up! So good I had to play it twice.
- Jimmy_Doluisio from Austin, Texas on 3May2005

Today
Rock band in zero gravity.
Abstract. Out there. I like it.
Wacky meandering piano, a weird bassy sound, and echoey vocals. Like a rock band trying to play floating in space with out gravity. Kind of sounds like "normal" intrument tracks that have been messed with (pitch, speed, effects) and put back together. Pretty cool.
- yesterscape from Columbus, Ohio on 1May2005

This is very avante alright
You sound like you like Captain Beefheart. What other kinds of music do you make? You are wierd, like our band, haunted pussy. I like wierdness in a person's music. I think that the art someone makes reflects the type of person they are. You seem creative, brave, curious, experimentative, and odd.
Thank you for not being normal.
- BilgeBaron from New York on 27Apr2005

Its definitely experimental....
This has an interesting vibe - kind of a spoken word mixed with an impromptu, unrehersed song. Great emotion and choking noises towards the end of the song. Seriously, this song makes me wonder about who your musical influences are, and how you went about writing it. Do you play live ?
- jack_lewis from Lansing, Michigan on 25Apr2005

Good Intro
I like the sound you guys are rolling with. The intro is really cool, it reminds me of something The Olivia Tremor Control would do. The vocals are weird, which is awesome, and the lyrics are interesting. The vibe feels like somebody's mind is falling apart and they are progressively trying to piece it back together. I like how the song becomes slightly more structured as it moves along. Good job guys, you need some better production though. It sound a bit too dirty and the vocals are too loud.
- Chimeshadow from Santa Barbara, California on 21Apr2005

Zoe
Wilco teams up with a very drunk Eric Clapton
i really like the sound effects and noise in the intro... this really reminds me of bands like wilco and radiohead...
its like those artists mixed with early eric clapton on crack...
this song is very original in its own kinda way....
the indie feel in this song, also, is very catchy...
GREAT SONG!!!
- ToddEvanDavis from Cabot, Arkansas on 21Apr2005

lets kill mainstreet
Great intro, is an invitation for an insane sound, the guitars are sweet-slide-delicious, great work to the guitar player (coming from a guitarist), the percussion have a nice cowboy be bop, the voice have attitude(the most important thing), and i want to give a really nice credit for the mix, is a really good work.
Is nice to hear this
- YorkO from Mexico City, Edo.Mx, Mexico on 18Apr2005

Industrial Honkey-Tonk
Though the production quality is very poor, or perhapse thats part of the mystic, this very bizarre song has some mojo. The vocals are awesome very distant and kind of whiney blues style. The overall sound and arrangment has a Tom Waits style to it. Guitar has a saw sound to it. Although you may have written or created this song in an anrchistic way it is pretty cool.
- SexandMachines from Santa Rosa, California on 17Apr2005

Lo-Fi...the real Deal. No kidding you!!!
Wow. What can say. Some people will hate it but me ,with my eclectic taste, LOVE IT. Kind of like the first time I heard the Velvet Underground. Anyway I like the minimalist production. Drums are great. No bass...why not!
- Alick from London, East London, United Kingdom on 17Apr2005

lo fi
this is one the more original things i've encountered, very low fi, reminds me a little of early flaming lips but has a bluesy thing going on. i really like the beginning, actually this is very basement tapes-y and the vocalist reminds me of rick danko a little.
cool stuff. inspired.
- jeremyradway from Unspecified on 16Apr2005

ACTUALLY DIFFERENT
REALLY ORIGINAL. EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE A LOT OF ATONAL CHANGES GOING ON, THERE ARE ALSO LITTLE GEMS OF MELODY THAT FLUTTER THROUGHOUT THE MIX. I DUG THE SLIDE GUITAR. I LIKED WHAT I COULD HEAR OF THE LYRICS. ALL IT REMINDED ME OF IS A REALLY EXPERIMENTAL BECK.
- Sola from Stratford, New Jersey on 15Apr2005

7 Mile
did he say 7 mile
being from detroit, the first lyric that stood out was the phrase "7 mile" if thats what he said. The recording of this song sounded really raw. This really sounded like it was recorded in a garage, or a tiny hole in the wall bar, for the tone of the song the recordeing quality went well with, but i wouldn't mind hearing a more clean-cut version. I really liked all the end of the song, especially the build of of percussion with the pause afterward. The end of the song reminded me of hendrix and a band of gypsys.
- persiphone_is from Woodhaven, Michigan on 21Apr2005

She Keeps Talking To Me
Oh Very Yeah
Right away the production value shows that a real effort has been put into this piece. This quasi pop song finds several levels in which to experiment. The ambience of the piece is it's stongest feature which very slyly gives way to a structure that made feel I was listening to a punk song heard underwater. By the time I'm making out lyrics I also making out a Joy Division influence. I personally think a wealth of garbage finds it's way into this catagory and I was very pleasently suprised to come across this gem. Actual experimental music in the experimental music catagory, who woulda thunk it? Please keep making music because you are making music interesting.
- sesimon from Nashville, Tennessee on 7Apr2005

Suecide Me
haunted
this song sounds like a ghost. or a memory. or drunks. i'm not sure. but i love it.
the hiss and the piano are what its all about.
is someone pissing during part of this song?
man i hope so.
- coyplott from Charlotte, North Carolina on 14Apr2005

Oh piano me baby
First of, dont ever, ever stop playing the piano its fantastic with its repeating melody. Also a bit weird paired up with the high Helium pitched vocals..nice lyrics though. Is that you takin a piss in the song? It made me smile with the water sound. The corius is very nice...now thers a good grating sound. over all its a good song.
- slowminded from Park Row, Texas on 13Apr2005

Slowminded happened to write us back about the song a couple of weeks later, this is what he had to say:
I still listen to the song "Suecide Me" on a daily basis, what a fucking great sound you have going on there, this song inspires me and the more I listen to it the more I feel like I've gaind something from it, be it inspiration, calmness, or the shear aggressiveness of it at times. Its a wonder that I just noticed how well the sped up part in the middle sounded against the backdrop of dark piano. Every time I hear this song I must give you props for the mood you set for the listener in this song.

Nice start
The start can define a song, this one is very musical, sad and the rain. Wow wait...the singer...the piano...the lyrics...therain...thesong...mmm...fell deep...asavior?...thepiano...hope the anguish is honest. Desperate noise, dark strokes of faith. Hope goes angry...walks with piano..and is still raining.
- LaExistance from Chicago, Illinois on 12Apr2005

First Day of Autumn
uninhibited
This song is powereful in delivery and rolling intensity. At first the vocals seems to overpower, while the instrumentation lags behind - but, the music and vocals soon conjoin harmoniously to create a surge of pure helter skelter rock and roll. The cadence that this song reaches is pervasive, sharpened even further by its jamming instrumental at the end. I really like the live feel to it, it was actually a relief - no pretention there. What made this song stand out was its canvas of sound that was actually able to create a balanced chaos.
- Tutunaru from Los Angeles, California on 4Apr2005

Great vocals
Great emotional weirdo vocals. I'd comment on everything else, but for me it all serves as an appropriate background to hear this totally compelling guy rant and rave over top of it. I love it love it love it. A great sense of humor and kind of substance-abuser aesthetic. The guitar serves the song very well. Keep doing what you're doing. It's pretty anthemic when the chorus comes in and the guy starts really screaming. GREAT.
- jonvisger from Ypsilanti, Michigan on 31Mar2005

funky funk
This song has a funky groove. The drummer gets the mood going upbeat.
Sounds very lo-fi. The highlight is where every thing gets loud, the singer starts screaming and that guitatr riff rocks. Good job there. Kind of reminds me of a song off of Beck's Mellow gold albume. from begining to end this track don't lose it's groove.
- yep_this_one from Reynoldsburg, Ohio on 30Mar2005

great stuff
Sound like some old classic-prog rock song. The guitar is really great. The production could use touch up, but in a way, the poor production add to this old records vibe. Like if you did this track some 30 years ago, and just recently found it. Love those freak out, noisy part...the voice is great too, and even though the drum is kind of hard to hear, it's great to.
Hey it's a pretty amazing track.
4/5
- desertedparking from Quebec, Canada on 29Mar2005

Howlin all the way
This is one noisy recording, but the singer makes it worth the listen. I thought it was one sampled Howlin' Wolf at first, but then i realized that this guy really sings on this recording (not howlin... the other guy that really sings here... oh, this got complicated). The guitars are excellent and i love it all the way. It's neurotic, spacy and freakin' insane all the way through. Never try to record this again in a real studio - you'll never get this feeling again. Trust me.
- bluerat from Malmoe, Skane, Sweden on 29Mar2005

Blues.
Solid beat, engaging guitar. I am not a stickler for quality, because lo fi sounds are just as good as hi fi. This makes me want to get up and dance the night away. The synth, or the...noise maker in the background definitely brings a great mood to this song overall.
- atomiskcity from High Ridge, Missouri on 28Mar2005

Soup Turtles
I actually, really, really like this song.
The ambience and sound manipulation is top notch in this. The vocals convey feeling, and that is my main judgement about vocals. Great piece of work, my friend. Keep it up. This does have the tone of early Modest Mouse though.
- atomiskcity from High Ridge, Missouri on 28Mar2005

crazy
AHhh this is some funky shit! Im actually scared right now but my god what is it!? OHahh this is fuckin crazy i like it! just crazy!
- ninthfloorview from Ingleside, Ontario, Canada on 28Mar2005

Beautiful!!
beautiful!!Oh I just said that!?
This reminds me of a song that I love by Mercury Rev but this is much more f$@ked up!
Too much time on your hands?Very drunk one evening?Or a musical genius?
- zantetzuken from Surrey, British Columbia, Canada on 28Mar2005

tape stretcher
I like the earie tape stretching sound you have here. The vocals a very interesting on the edge of disturbing. This sounds very psychedelic, pretty crazy trip your on, but well executed. Ween on even more drugs... I wonder what this track sounds like in the context of the record, or a show maybe.
- diskoPunk5C from Hollywood, California on 27Mar2005

Insane
I used to do acid. A lot. A whole lot. In my head, I heard this. This is the kind of thing only truly deranged people could make or enjoy. I kinda like it. It is horrible, but I like it. I laughed. It sounds a little like Ween's Pure Guava album, a little like Negativeland and a little like a a fly getting caught in a feedback machine. Ever hear Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music? There you go. You sound like that, only not as good.
- KrisNAmber from Palm Bay, Florida on 25Mar2005

Trippy
Really liked the reverse sound,,sounds like a twisted accordian.
great experimenting with vocal techniques,,,almost acoustic science.
- Dethkit from Pointy Biro, North Wales, United Kingdom on 25Mar2005

Billy The Killer

2005-05-18T02:33:00.000-04:00

Hey There
In our continuing series of songs being reviewed on GarageBand.com, we have made our way through the review cycle of "Billy The Killer" here is all the info about the song and the reviews that it received. Reviewers are also able to give extra credit to certain elements of a song, a list of the extra credit awards will be shown after all the reviews. See you next time with, "Nico's Dead, Nico's Dead".

Billy The Killer(5:40)

Score 2.0 out of 5.0
#186 of 198 in Current Experimental Rock
#1346 of 1423 in All-Time Experimental Rock

History
Billy The Killer leads off the Buddha All-Star album, Hello. This song was recorded on Thanksgiving Day 1999, it features Mick singing, Rob on flute and singing, Jeff on guitar and singing, and Scott talking. The lyrics as most of our songs are, were improvised.

Lyrics
I will leave it to someone much stouter of heart than me to transcribe the lyrics.

Reviews
review
the intro seems a bit long, this reminds me of desert sessions cds, It is creative but not something I would listen to often. You seem like you are the type of music people have to be in certain mood to listen to
- lifeamongghosts from Unspecified on 15May2005

really quiet
i am not sure if it was the mix or just my computer but it was really quiet. differnt but original. the vocals cracked me up . i hope that was the intent.
- rawkasaurusrex from Spokane, Washington on 11May2005

creepy
why the voices? what do they mean? kind of annoying and crappy. recording sucks bad. hurts my ears! bye!
- md79_99 from Oak Lawn, Illinois on 11May2005

They have pills for that, you know..
You've certainly got the "experimental" part down, but the "rock" part is sadly missing. It sounds like you got stoned, picked up a guitar and decided to howl like rabid sheep. If this is what you were going for, congrats, you nailed it. Since there's not really a song to review here, I'll move on.
- cheesyfru from Van Buren, Ohio on 10May2005

I like the desprate monkey sounds
Very funny with with your vocals and whatever that was in the background...maybe a rusty doornob or somthing. Your music is making me feel very dark and drunk...or retarded. Its that kind of retarded kid that you worry about cuz your not quite sure if hes going to explode on you or not. Keep on polishing and developing your sound.
- slowminded from Park Row, Texas on 10May2005

experimental
this thing is really a experimental song. How can I write a review to that song? if it's for the art purposes, then it really hits the spot, if it's for wider audience to listen then it's a piece of crap.
- Leetsar from Tallinn, Harjumaa, Estonia on 10May2005

Moronic.
Stupid song. Unoriginal guitar riff. Idiot vocals.
You get a one because of the supreme douchebaggary that this song presents.
- ssexplosion from Shawano, Wisconsin on 10May2005

is this a joke or just painful
I feel like im at a haunted house and they are playing so really painful mourning music of a dead zoombie.......Now its a bad impression of Opera man at his worst...Damn...give it up..he can count to 12 wow im impressed. I dont think this guy sing or whatever you could call it sound any better sober with this song or whatever you want to call thgis CRAP
- seanman136 from Tooele, Utah on 8May2005

You can't be serious !
I rated something earlier today as the worst tune I had ever heard on GB. I have to take it back. Sounds like cats getting ready to fight. Did you get loaded and run a tape or what.
- dabass from Temecula, California on 8May2005

IS THIS A JOKE?
DO YOU EXPECT ME TO THINK THIS EXP. ROCK. YOUR RECORDING SOUNDS LIKE ANALOG TAPE. YODEL FOR ME. THIS IS AN ABOMINATION TO GARAGEBAND.COM. PLEASE I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. YOUR A DRUNK, SESAME STREET KERMIT THE FROG SOUNDING VOCALIST. GROW UP. HORRIBLE, NOT A BIT FUNNY. I AM EMBARRASSED FOR YOU! AMATEUR GUITAR TOO.
- TREYILDERTON from Charleston, West Virginia on 8May2005

very strange. the wailing reminds...
very strange. the wailing reminds me of sigur ros' vocables. It sounds like there's some beeping in there that doens't really fit. Maybe that's the point, though. It's kind of distant sounding, and the counting was a little much. It was ok, though.
- ampersandcult from Lexington, Kentucky on 7May2005

experimental?
wow....i don't know where you are leading me...it doesn't seem like somewhere i want to go again. silly....waste o'time.try comedy genre next time.
- KevinCarroll from Austin, Texas on 7May2005

Experi-MENTAL
The mental part is correct anyway, not sure about the exprimental part. I did my best to get to 90 secs but thats it, I felt myself start to go slightly insane, would be great if this sort of stuff could get in the pop-charts and screw poeple up a bit. Way-Out!
- theeexciters from United Kingdom on 7May2005

Retarded Sadnessmess
The band reminds me of Animal Collective and The Books, creating a mood out of acoustics and disparate elements to create something that is at the very least something, and probably something special. The cry-ish opening minutes are the best bits, but it only gets more unpredictable from there. Unpredictability is the song's greatest strengh, along with a sense of humor, as well as, of course, originality and daring. Keep this stuff up and find the correct boundary between silly and camp and you've really got something.
- gcrandal from Ingleside, Illinois on 7May2005

An evening on the terminal ward
Okay song.Highly disonant guitars and wailing highly intoxicated brothers in misery do have their place in this genre.The acoustic guitars would sound better opentuned than just not tuned.Call the nurse and get your morphine.Production values need to be addressed as well as some semblance of song structure.
- Dcyberstar13 from Fountain Valley, California on 7May2005

Cheech an Chong Intro?
Ah -----ah----ah-----------ahhhhhhhhhh=ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, wtf?, damn you crying? lol, thiz iz garbage, Itz killin my drums , ear drums dat iz, try something else please, please, please, at least you can count I guess?
- PLAYBOYW from 707 Rosetown, California on 7May2005

Ween like
Very Ween like but could still be a little more functional/sobre?
Funny and humorous track. However towards the end someone needs to change its diaper. Not in the sense that it stinks but that it gets abnoxiuos and demanding.
Needs more rythm and originization even for this kind of music. Potential good though and nice acoustic guitar work just needs a little better arrangement.
- Earth2Luber from Roseburg, Oregon on 6May2005

Awesome!!!
This is simply great!DidnÂ´t get all the lyrics,but-who cares?
Did you ever consider a remix of this
one?
What about puking in the toilet accompanied by a 2-string guitar?That has to be top-ten!!
- psycholuemmel from Berlin, Germany on 6May2005

Oil that thing
Use lubrication and it won't hurt so bad. Pink Floyd has an old song with dogs howling. They do it better. This song is either a waste of time or uh a waste of time. This experiment was not meant to succede. It does however act as good a gateway to drugs and murder.
- Hogwash from Bend, Oregon on 5May2005

What?
Is this serious? This is a terrible presentation of something without structure or reason or any direction of art. My time has been wasted.
- hairshow from Unspecified on 4May2005

i hate to read bad reviews and hate to write ..
if that was experimental, i guess i really dont understand it - you may be very nice people, and you may be very intelligent, even in the matters of music, but there was not one thing about that recording that displayed any kind of effort or musical talent or message or was educational, uplifting, enjoyable, interesting, skillful... guys, i hate to read when people write me bad reviews, but, oh my god! i started thinkin it was a joke song submitted just to test the review system, like to see if someone would something nice about it anyway - i am genuinely sorry...
- chrishoover from Reno, Nevada on 4May2005

Opening almost sounded like Native Chants......
Acoustic Guitar is cool...what the hell? Weird howls and screams... In unison with each other...
Ween is coming out here in fumes...Reaks of the Green Jelly curse upon men...This is definitely Experimental Rock in its highest form...Hehe this is fun as hell...I have to listen to every bit of it...Coo Coo Coo Coo
- damien_lucas from Valliant, Oklahoma on 4May2005

spazooo
Kinda improvisational expression. Very out of tune. But very funny. Some of the wails are quite soulful. The flutey sound is a nice touch. Its pretty disturbing. The way the vocals are talking over each other. You crazy nut cases.
- plattishness from Preston, England, United Kingdom on 4May2005

Catlike cries and squeaks
Awesome noise and caterwauling like I have seldom heard save from mental patients at the Austin State Hospital where I work. The little story about Jimmy in the middle of this "music" perfects the illusion of being on the porch, drunk, perhaps on mushrooms, while these (two?) talented artistes play off each other's rambling improvisations in the wee hours of the morning. Simple guitar repetition in the last third, combined with sick warbling had me in stiches. Some good work, men. Keep it up! So good I had to play it twice.
- Jimmy_Doluisio from Austin, Texas on 3May2005

Sometimes you can be too different.
I have to lay some basis for my review before I actually review this song. I respect this for it's artistic merit as something very different, but I have a difficult time calling this a song. I believe that's what you were going for, and I think that what you're trying to do is done well. I thought that the talking would just be an introduction to set the mood for a creepy, dark song. I don't think I like the fact that it was continued for the whole song. Besides my dislike for this as an actual song, I think things were done well with what you were trying to convey. The talking itself is quite well done. The two voices play very well of each other. Seemlingly the calm and the crazed, they work well. I am confused as to why the third voice entered at the end, but the person who did it did it well. The guitar fits perfectly. I liked how it was somewhat removed from the speaking, like it was recorded on a different level, where the acoustics of the room weren't perfect. I can hear a slight echo, it sounds like it was recorded in an open space. In any account, something about it isn't all there, and that works. To sum it up, I recognize this for what it is, and what you were trying to do was done well. But my personal tastes are opposed to this because I don't consider it my kind of music.
- the_fwanksta from Burlington, Ontario, Canada on 3May2005

no fun mah babe
Oh - Billy... I don't know - I appreciate the mood setting madness throughout the song as Billy grows up (nice nightmare baby music) but this effort really came off as more annoying than disturbing. This song would really benefit from decent production , at least on the vocals , so I could understand a few more of your twisted ravings. Overall strong marks for silliness and originality.
- harrysson from Hagerstown, Maryland on 25Apr2005

yikes!
Oh boy this one is going to be a doozy isnt it. I think i may know who this is. It sounds like it was recorded at the pound. U guys are trying to be riduclas arent u. Its hard to comment on somthing like this. My honest opinion is to scrap it and start over, it has no potential. Maybe try it in comedy. However i think this may be tonto and u were kind to one of my songs once so i feel obliged to return the favor and at least this wasnt as boring as the last song i listed to so im going to leave out the guess work and give u the pair
- CraZyPickleZ from Edmonton, Alberta on 25Apr2005

Extra Credit Awards
Stupidest Song Ever-9
Originality-6
Male Vocals-5
Mood-3
Guitar-2
Female Vocals-1
Lyrics-1
Best Potential Movie Soundtrack-1
Most Rocking Track-1

Billy The Killer was awarded Stupidest Song in Experimental Rock, for the week of 5-9-05 and 5-16-05, it was also awarded 3rd stupidest song on the site, for the week of 5-9-05, and it reached #23 for all-time stupidest song in Experimental Rock.

2005-05-13T06:25:00.000-04:00

I mentioned The Hype Machine in a previous post. I tend to check the site every other day or so to see if anything interesting pops up. Well today I found 3 of the bands mentioned in our Who Do We Sound Like? post. The Virgin Prunes, Animal Collective and The Books. Check 'em out. It's fast, fun and easy. Links don't last long, so hurry or you'll miss it.

On a side note, I'd mentioned that I was, in fact, familiar with the music of the Virgin Prunes. Well, that was untrue. I was apparently thinking of the Electric Prunes of 'I Had Too Much to Dream Last Night' fame. Prunes tend to confuse me, as well as loosen my bowels, but boy are they tasty!

Phantasmagoric Kaleidoscope

2005-05-11T22:45:00.000-04:00

The Buddha All-Stars award winning album, Phantasmagoric Kaleidoscope, is the new album of the week, the first half is now available to listen to, or go here to download the songs. We once again spoke to Scott Lozon to get his thoughts on the album:

This album is about an old time medicine show that comes to town, but instead of selling medicine they're selling entertainment, that evening everyone in town gathers by a large fire to find out what all the hullaballo is about, the carny type sales men display a magic box with incredible powers, the box looks like a normal black box except for three things, on top of the box there is a protusion, on the side is a circular knob, and on the front in fancy gold letters PHANTASMAGORIC KALEIDOSCOPE is written, the carnies tell the audience that when you stick your face up to the viewer you will witness images that combine to make a story of absolute terror, and with each turn of the knob a new horror is displayed, our friend J (go to the blog article about Drowning into Darkness to learn more about J) was there that day, this album is his memory of that day and the images that he saw. There is a little more to the story, maybe we'll get to that for the second half.

Well how's that for another crazy story. So go and download the album, turn the lights down low, and listen to our tales of terror. Let us know what you think. The second half will be presented within a week or two.

Today

2005-05-09T21:25:00.000-04:00

Hello
In our continuing series of songs being reviewed on GarageBand.com, we have made our way through the review cycle of "Today" here is all the info about the song and the reviews that it received. Reviewers are also able to give extra credit to certain elements of a song, a list of the extra credit awards will be shown after all the reviews. See you next time with, "Billy The Killer".

Today(4:16)

Score 2.7 out of 5.0
#158 of 190 in Current Experimental Rock
#976 of 1406 in All-Time Experimental Rock

History
Today appears on the Buddha All-Star album, Wall of Sound. This song was recorded in late 1996, with Mick on Guitar, Rob on Keys, and Scott singing and playing bass. The lyrics as most of our songs are, were improvised.

Lyrics
Life in the void
Is everything to me
Wondering how the skies must be
Living under the sea
No mom I don't got take a pee
Hey you don't bother me
Scary things they must be
Why won't you let me free

Today, Today
We all love Today
Why won't you come and play
Skies are blue and so are you

Why do they laugh at me
Why are there holes in my underwear
Don't say mon frere, I do not care

Today whenanybody
Today they cannot make me play
Go out in the fields and play Today they say
but I don't care because I can't live no longer under this constant pressure
and everything coming down over me

Today
I will play
Today

Reviews
wow
sound of disjointed inst. A guitar string being pulled by a rabbid animal? The talk/sing/talk/ vocal thing feels like some sadistic dentist laughing while he tortures. maybe this could work as a spoken word thing. But now its all over the place.
- solitaryanimal from Brooklyn, New York on 6May2005

Holes in his Hand
By using standarly tuned instruments, this piece can be still experimental. The piano playing in the background is proof of that. Good improv by the pianist. The results could also be greatly enhance by a better recording. The voice was too close to the mike. The strummed part brings the song to the earth. Believe it or not, this music comes as being very nonest and emotional. If practiced regularly, if the players get to know their performance well (or if it is a recording by one person, rerecord until you get it right) it will come through as a strong theme. Adding drums may not be a far fletched idea,BD, SD and ride cymbal could be enough. For the un and down (glissando) arrangement of the guitar in the verse, add some efx so it will not become tedious. One more idea is to perform the first part with an out of tune guitar like it is now, and then for the second chorus use a tuned guitar.
- sawahwah from Maracaibo, Zulia, Venezuela on 6May2005

beefpoem
Ok, impovised stupidity, start up. Kick in please!! Ok I see what your going for. It kinda comes together once the vocals come in. I just dont like the bendy middley guitar, it quite uninventive.
Some would say this is rubbish. I would say its boring. If your gonna go nuts, work on the production to make it still hold people attention.
- plattishness from Preston, England, United Kingdom on 6May2005

No more experimental rock for me.
I'm writing this song off as a joke. It sounds like you used a $50 4-track and a samson microphone. Silly lyrics, no musical ingenuity. I just can't justify spending more time on this review.
- ThePipeCleaner from Louisville, Kentucky on 5May2005

Painful
I really didn't want to listen to the whole song. If you intended to be dystopically forceful, I didn't feel it. The only time anyone pulled this kind of thing off was during the "sound poetry" years, ie. e.e. cummings.
- Shaqua1973 from Grande Prairie, Alberta, Canada on 3May2005

holy crap
You know I was just thinking you don't hear nearly enough Beefhart-ian anarchy in experimental rock these days. Silly me. Great piano. This sounds like it was a lot of fun to record. A little long - but who cares. Dig it.
- harrysson from Hagerstown, Maryland on 3May2005

I found my wammy bar!
Very odd and stilted. Sounds like something from a Dr. Demento broadcast. It also made me think of David Lynch films. Kinda fun. I used to do this sort of thing when I was teenager with my friend Tom. Clearly someone with a lot of time on his hands.
- CharlesOtis from Hawthorne, Florida on 2May2005

Rock band in zero gravity.
Abstract. Out there. I like it.
Wacky meandering piano, a weird bassy sound, and echoey vocals. Like a rock band trying to play floating in space with out gravity. Kind of sounds like "normal" intrument tracks that have been messed with (pitch, speed, effects) and put back together. Pretty cool.
- yesterscape from Columbus, Ohio on 1May2005

rubberbandalero
The journey begins by sitting in a giant slingshot.
When the launch commends you are shot into a wormhole
as you are traveling through other dimensions this is the soundtrack.
Nice and unconventional, kinda reminded me of the frogs.
- Dr.Roman from Somers, Connecticut on 1May2005

Adam Sandler stinks!
Is a three year old playing backup for you? Whoa! Stop the voice! Experimental? You are no good Mister Drunk. Wow. Stop! It hurts.
- jonndevon from Elkhart, Indiana on 1May2005

maybe the finest piece of music ever
The lyrics along with the vocals sent a single tear down my cheek and to the floor. Its not often you listen to a piece of music with so much raw truth and emotion It felt like I was with them with the turmoil and with the sweet sweet noise. The piano with the detuned guitar how do you do it?
- atom777 from Detroit, Michigan on 30Apr2005

Thanks Adam

*yawn*
there's a difference between experimental rock, and just a bunch of random sounds creating by doing random things. the voice is pretty lame and uninspiring. if this is a joke, it's pretty dumb, if it's not, it's hilarious. there's really nothing to review about this other than it needs a LOT of work to be any kind of experiment at all. perhaps ideas would help, creativity, musical goals and, oh yea, talent.
- maxheadlessness from Summersville, West Virginia on 29Apr2005

Avant Garde
YEs! You guys suck! Sounds like some 20th century composition, minus the vocals. Thanks for the chuckle. Rock on!
- MundaxWorm from Batavia, Illinois on 29Apr2005

Review
the song is only playing twenty or seconds each time before stopping, even though there are clearly more than 4 minutes, im sorry for the technical mishap but ill try to review what i heard. The guitar sounds like it has an effect on it, maybe sped up slighly, and though it played without a regard to beat or melody, it is oddly coherent, and i dont know if this is planned or not or if the song comes together later. The scattered piano over the guitar is intersting in that two instruments are indivually playing chaotic, unrelated melodies, but collectively the sound is attention grabbing and well constructed.
- dugg from Dallas, Texas on 27Apr2005

This is very avante alright
You sound like you like Captain Beefheart. What other kinds of music do you make? You are wierd, like our band, haunted pussy. I like wierdness in a person's music. I think that the art someone makes reflects the type of person they are. You seem creative, brave, curious, experimentative, and odd. Thank you for not being normal.
- BilgeBaron from New York on 27Apr2005

weired
wowowie weird intro, strange song.. what's this mushroom stuff doing in my room.. weired weired weired
- kamppieter from Netherlands on 27Apr2005

no structure?
What's happening here, tired of life? There's absolutely no structure in this song, and delay effects don't compensate for a no-song. But it was worth trying I guess. Be your own worst critic. At least than you would try to improve and only post the best songs you have (allthough I must admit I'm guilty as well)
- dotwood from Genk, Limburg, Belgium on 27Apr2005

Not funny, just plain stupid
Well there was a complete waste of 4:17 seconds of my life. I am sorry but perhaps i just dont get it. Anyone can pick up a rhyming dictionary and read random words.
The music is random and mindless, i really think that this song was created in about 8 minutes. The bass line is about as annoying as mosquitos flying into my sunburned ears.
Please if you attempt to do anymore music, please listen to it and make the appropriate volume adjusments so if i have to review another one if your songs my speakers wont be harmed......not to mention my aching ears.
- growler69 from Chicago (Nw Burbs), Illinois on 27Apr2005

baboon music
This song gets marks for ridiculasness. U might do better in comedy. I dont really see how this is experimental. A baboon could play this
- leckieo from Unspecified on 26Apr2005

Its definitely experimental....
This has an interesting vibe - kind of a spoken word mixed with an impromptu, unrehersed song. Great emotion and choking noises towards the end of the song. Seriously, this song makes me wonder about who your musical influences are, and how you went about writing it. Do you play live ?
- jack_lewis from Lansing, Michigan on 25Apr2005

i'm getting lost
i'm confused by the whammied guitar and the piano notes, seems to distract from any sort of melody. vocals are loud, rather tasteless dialogue. needs better production and a guitar tuner.
- driveshaft from Fort Wayne, Indiana on 21Apr2005

Good
I made a poop this afternoon and it sounded much better. Very experimental. I like it I guess. I would never listen to it again but it is the most original song I've ever heard on here. It is also the very worst song I've ever heard on here by far.
- Kjeblo from Spokane, Washington on 21Apr2005

not impressed
This sounds like your using a whammy bar. Nice piano. Pretty weird kinda interesting..hopefully it leads somwhere...nope! The vocals come in and they are totally ridiculas. The lyrics are really childish. I dont know man im not impressed
- CraZyPickleZ from Edmonton, Alberta on 21Apr2005

Good Intro
I like the sound you guys are rolling with. The intro is really cool, it reminds me of something The Olivia Tremor Control would do. The vocals are weird, which is awesome, and the lyrics are interesting. The vibe feels like somebody's mind is falling apart and they are progressively trying to piece it back together. I like how the song becomes slightly more structured as it moves along. Good job guys, you need some better production though. It sound a bit too dirty and the vocals are too loud.
- Chimeshadow from Santa Barbara, California on 21Apr2005

PRETTY OUT-THERE
VERY AVANT-GARDE STUFF. THIS IS ACTUALLY EXPERIMENTAL. THE BENDING WAS A LITTLE REPETATIVE, BUT ALL IN ALL, AN ORIGINAL TRACK. LIKED THE KEYBOARDS.
- Sola from Stratford, New Jersey on 21Apr2005

real good
this is real out there I like it alot someone has a imagnation what a great thing
- honestgod from Mohonk Lake, New York on 21Apr2005

Extra Credit Awards
Originality-6
Stupidest Song Ever-6
Keyboards-6
Guitar-4
Mood-3
Male Vocals-2
Production-2
Lyrics-2
Best Feel Good Song-2
Best Dance Track-1
Melody-1
Bass-1
Programming-1
Beat-1

Today was awarded Stupidest Song in Experimental Rock, for the week of 5-2-05.

Have you ever wondered who Tonto and Buddha sound like?

2005-05-08T23:05:00.000-04:00

I suppose it was during the rains of 58' that i began to wonder who do Tonto Savalas and the Buddha All-Stars sound like, well thanks to garageband and my love of statistics, here is your answer, by song and then overall, as of 7-05-05.

Funky Tummy
Celine Dion
Lou Reed
Santana
Sonic Youth
Velvet Underground
Ween
Whitney Houston
The Who

Crackhead Stew-listed under Buddha
3-Red Hot Chili Peppers
? & the Mysterians
Atari Teenage Riot
Beck
Buckethead
Captain Beefheart
Flaming Lips
Frank Zappa
Mic Jagger
Mr. T
Mothers of Invention

I Need You
David Bowie
Elvis Presley
White Stripes

Squirrel Cat
2-Captain Beefheart
Dr. Who
Mike Patton
Mr. Bungle
Residents
Ween

Hark! Hark! The Newsboys Dead
2-Jim Morrison
Birthday Party
Can
Frank Sinatra
King Crimson
Neil Young
Nikki Sudden
Primus
Sonic Youth
Yes

Josephine
Belle and Sebastian
The Books
The Eels
John Frusciante
Morphine
Portishead
Radiohead
Tom Waits
Ween

Thank You, White Boy
Beck
Daniel Johnston

Back From Nebraska
Beatles
Beck
Bobcat Goldthwaite
Edgar Allen Poe
Liz Phair
Modest Mouse
Pink Floyd
Ween
Willy Mason

Nico’s Dead, Nico’s Dead
3-Jimi Hendrix
2-Sonic Youth
Pink Floyd
Pink Fairies
Charles Manson

Billy The Killer
Desert Sessions
Kermit The Frog
Sigur Ros
Animal Collective
The Books
2-Ween
Green Jelly

7 Mile
Spinal Tap
3-Jimi Hendrix
Kurt Cobain
Jim Morrison

Suecide Me
Roger Waters
Daniel Johnston
Wesley Willis
Flaming Lips
Mogwai
Iggy Pop
Ozzy Osbourne
Ween
Randy Newman
Shane McGowan

Today
2-Captain Beefheart
Dr. Demento
David Lynch
The Frogs
Olivia Tremor Control

Soup Turtles
Radiohead
Beck
Modest Mouse
Mercury Rev
3-Ween
Butthole Surfers
Negativeland
Lou Reed
Virgin Prunes
Residents

The First Day of Autumn
Jimi Hendrix
Who
Beck
Howlin' Wolf
John Spencer Blues Explosion
2-Jim Morrison

Zoe
Bob Dylan
The Eels
2-Tom Waits
2-Wilco
5-Beck
Eric Clapton
Radiohead
Ween
Beatles
Velvet Underground
Rick Danko
Flaming Lips
Smog
Aerosmith
Pink Floyd

She Keeps Talking To Me
Ween
Neurosis
B-52s
Joy Division
2-Pere Ubu
Sigur Ros

Tonto Savalas-Songs
7-Jimi Hendrix
3-Beck
3-Jim Morrison
3-Ween
2-Daniel Johnston
2-Pink Floyd
2-Sonic Youth
Beatles
Belle and Sebastian
Bobcat Goldthwait
The Books
Charles Manson
Edgar Allen Poe
The Eels
Flaming Lips
Howlin' Wolf
Iggy Pop
John Frusciante
John Spencer Blues Explosion
Kurt Cobain
Liz Phair
Modest Mouse
Mogwai
Morphine
Ozzy Osbourne
Pink Fairies
Portishead
Radiohead
Randy Newman
Roger Waters
Shane McGowan
Spinal Tap
Tom Waits
Wesley Willis
Willy Mason
The Who

Buddha All-Stars-Songs
9-Ween
7-Beck
5-Captain Beefheart
2-Flaming Lips
2-Jim Morrison
2-Lou Reed
2-Pere Ubu
2-Radiohead
3-Red Hot Chili Peppers
2-Residents
2-Sigur Ros
2-Sonic Youth
2-Velvet Underground
2-Tom Waits
2-Wilco
? & the Mysterians
Aerosmith
Animal Collective
Atari Teenage Riot
B-52s
Beatles
Birthday Party
Bob Dylan
The Books
Buckethead
Butthole Surfers
Can
Celine Dion
David Bowie
David Lynch
Dr. Demento
Dr. Who
The Desert Sessions
The Eels
Elvis Presley
Eric Clapton
Flaming Lips
Frank Sinatra
Frank Zappa
The Frogs
Green Jelly
Joy Division
Kermit the Frog
King Crimson
Mercury Rev
Mic Jagger
Mike Patton
Mr. Bungle
Mr. T
Modest Mouse
Mothers of Invention
Negativeland
Neil Young
Neurosis
Nikki Sudden
Olivia Tremor Control
Pink Floyd
Primus
Rick Danko
Santana
Smog
Virgin Prunes
White Stripes
Whitney Houston
The Who
Yes

The Tonto/Buddha Experience as a whole
12-Ween
10-Beck
7-Jimi Hendrix
5-Jim Morrison
5-Captain Beefheart
4-Sonic Youth
3-Flaming Lips
3-Pink Floyd
3-Radiohead
3-Red Hot Chili Peppers
3-Tom Waits
2-Beatles
2-The Books
2-Daniel Johnston
2-The Eels
2-Lou Reed
2-Modest Mouse
2-Pere Ubu
2-Residents
2-Sigur Ros
2-Velvet Underground
2-The Who
2-Wilco
? & the Mysterians
Aerosmith
Animal Collective
Atari Teenage Riot
B-52s
Belle and Sebastian
Birthday Party
Bob Dylan
Bobcat Goldthwait
Buckethead
Butthole Surfers
Can
Celine Dion
Charles Manson
David Bowie
David Lynch
The Desert Sessions
Dr. Demento
Dr. Who
Edgar Allen Poe
Elvis Presley
Eric Clapton
Frank Sinatra
Frank Zappa
The Frogs
Green Jelly
Howlin' Wolf
Iggy Pop
John Frusciante
John Spencer Blues Explosion
Joy Division
Kermit the Frog
King Crimson
Kurt Cobain
Liz Phair
Mercury Rev
Mic Jagger
Mike Patton
Mr. Bungle
Mr. T
Mogwai
Morphine
Mothers of Invention
Negativeland
Neil Young
Neurosis
Nikki Sudden
Olivia Tremor Control
Ozzy Osbourne
Pink Fairies
Portishead
Primus
Randy Newman
Rick Danko
Roger Waters
Santana
Shane McGowan
Smog
Spinal Tap
Virgin Prunes
Wesley Willis
White Stripes
Whitney Houston
Willy Mason
Yes

So there you have it, if someone ever asks you who we sound like, take your pick.

On a side note, the band that we sound most like, Ween, I have never heard, and of the 11 bands getting two or more votes, I do not own and would not recognize 7 of them.

I decided to make a 4 man band from the above choices, it included: Wesley Willis, Randy Newman, Jimi Hendrix, and Thurston Moore. Make your own for fun and amusement.

Drowning Into Darkness Part 2

2005-05-08T12:53:00.000-04:00

Well after the overwhelming response to the first half of the Buddha All-Stars Drowning Into Darkness album on DMusic, we present the second half to you here, or you can go to the site and download the songs manually, there is one song that is not able to go up on DMusic because of copyright purposes, it is track 31, which is available for download by clicking on it's title here, Pierson's Orchestra. Hope you enjoy the album, please post a comment for the next album you would like us to put up, first post wins.

Clearing House II

2005-05-07T19:14:00.000-04:00

Join me as I delight and regale you with another collection of links that are clogging up my bookmarks and are pretty freakin' useless to boot!

Participatory Culture Foundation- might be cool in the future... if I actually had a computer that could take advantage of it.
Photos by some guy of some stuff. Pretty neat. That's pretty as in petty with an r and neat as in anal.
Logos! Similair to legos as they are to Egos. Now let go, it's mine!
Sound Editing Program. I thought about downloading it and the didn't. Now you can do the very same thing!
Rock snobbery. These guys must think they're funny. A miniscule amount of amusement was all I got.
Fiction Bitch. Give her your words, your long, hard words...
Key 23. This is where magic and technology meet. They didn't like each other that much, though, and decided to 'just be friends.'
Greatest Comics Covers. Ever. According to this guy. But not one Groo cover, so how right can he be?
Rashomon. Both artsy and fartsy. All in one place!
Nancy Street. And I marked this because... well, I like lists of crazy people.
Online Philosophy. Ah, philosophy... So. Freakin'. Boring. Yet, I persevere.
Tweak Guides. Imagine my disappointment when I found that this had nothing to do with nipples.
Project C-90. Nothing but lots of pictures of tapes. The absolutely coolest and most useless thing ever.
Children's Books. Online. Free and in quantity. I didn't see Everybody Poops, though.

There you go. Take a journey through my day.

Twisted Humor

2005-05-06T17:16:00.000-04:00

... is my very favorite kind. Remember that old newspaper strip, LOVE IS?

Zoe

2005-04-30T08:03:00.000-04:00

Hello
In our continuing series of songs being reviewed on GarageBand.com, we have made our way through the review cycle of "Zoe" here is all the info about the song and the reviews that it received. Reviewers are also able to give extra credit to certain elements of a song, a list of the extra credit awards will be shown after all the reviews. See you next time with, "Today".

Zoe(2:59)

Score 3.3 out of 5.0
#85 of 191 in Current Experimental Rock
#420 of 1,382 in All-Time Experimental Rock

History
Zoe appears on the Buddha All-Star album, Hello. This song was originally recorded in 1998, with Jeff on Guitar, Rob on Drums, and Scott on Keys. In 2003 Adam added vocals, with backing from Mic and Scott, lyrics were written by Mic. It's about a stripper. This song made it past the 1st round of reviews but did not do good enough to make it to the 2nd round, the reviews that are past the 1st round are against songs in the rock category, which explains some of the change in opinion of the song in the first 10 reviews listed, reviews after that are from the experimental category.

Lyrics
She had a lisp when she talked
She shook her shingdig when she walked
Hairy things beneath her arms
I felt her hands then heard alarms

Zoe, Zoe, don't trip on no dollars
Zoe, Zoe, don't slip on no dollars
Slowly, Slowly, Slowly, Zoe

Seen her police cap on the bar
Inside of it there was a jar
I asked her, "Babe what's in the jar?"
She said, "Well kid, I'm a star"

Zoe, Zoe, don't trip on no dollars
Zoe, Zoe, don't slip on no dollars
Slowly, Slowly, Slowly, Zoe

She had a lisp when she talked
Her shingdig when she walked
Hairy things beneath her arms
I felt her hands then heard the charms

Zoe, Zoe, don't trip on no dollars
Zoe, Zoe, don't slip on no dollars
Slowly, Slowly, Slowly, Zoe

Reviews
Everybody must get stoned
The "homage" paid to Dylan is done pretty badly, and how can this be experimental, it was done by Dylan!!!!!! or at least that what it sounded like to me. The drum line i think is almost the same. There is a point where i really think everyone stopped listening to eah other, and lost the vibe alltogeher. I just was waiting for a howling dog to enter into it. Acually i think it would have made the song "better". If this song is meant to be funny (which it's not funny) i think the howling dog would be perfect! maybe two, at least THEY would be listening. The guitar during the verse is all over the place. and it accually sounds like the vox and axe are competing. The song might be funny if it was somewhat original, but the performance,sound and interaction of the musicians prohibits any potential "good" luaghter. It also sounds like some of the lyrics say "smoke weed" if this is the case you need to smoke a whole lot more to make this song enjoyable.
So get yourself a couple of hounds and smoke yorself about a pound and please please please improve your sound!
- growler69 from Chicago (Nw Burbs), Illinois on 26Apr2005

hell to my ears
This could be really really horrible but somehow, the way the single mic (lo-fi techniques I'm presuming) picks up the individual instruments it sounds more like a cross between the eels and tom waits. Which is nice. Really floppy bass drum sound which suits the terribley over distorted and randomly out of tune guitar. It all fits together superbly. Really exciting. Most bands who would try a song this horrible would go over the top. But you guys show musical restraint and create an almost ambient piece. Which is awesome. Wanna hear more
- plattishness from Preston, England, United Kingdom on 26Apr2005

Slide Rule...
I like the interplay between the slide guitar and the vocals. The sparse piano part was cool...it gets the job done. The only problem I see is the piece is aimless and wandering. MILES DAVIS ran into this same problem and later corrected it...you should study some of his later compositions for inspiration (post 'Bitches Brew'). I like this track...it's got a vast amount of potential!
- Sonic_Man from Buras, Louisiana on 25Apr2005

Review
The guitar/violin/ whatever the hell that noise is that got way lost in the production, actually sounds really cool. It reminds me of some of wilcos experimentation with feedback and blank noise in their recent albums. But dear god man, only oh so much random noise is managable, this just gets annoying by the second minute.
- dugg from Dallas, Texas on 25Apr2005

what the
i have no clue whats going on is this a song? or just noise and someone talking very weird sound you got there
- justincharlesneese from Bridgeview, Illinois on 25Apr2005

Acid Torture Chamber.
O.K. this is definitely melodicly dissodant. i like the lyrics. Hippy electro shock therapy? I like the evil smiegel choruses. The guitar is creative. The Piano is reminicent of redneck dwarves breaking beer bottles. Word.
- Cedro from Tollhouse, California on 24Apr2005

tighten up
im not sure if a "loose" sound was your intention...if so...nice job...if not...well then...i liked the vocalist's style...best part of the song....close second was the bluesy, almost beck style guitar....drums were off..but again that may be the intention....piano was simple....almost too simple to be off beat....good luck!!!
- bipolarvibe from Jersey City, New Jersey on 24Apr2005

music for glue huffers.
THIS SONG IS TRYING TO BE HARD ON THE EARS.GOOD JOB.everything sounds like it is being played by glue huffers,and the more i listen to it,the more i feel like i have hit the sticky bag too.i'm out ...this sucks.
- BattleshipEthel from Hamilton, Ontario, Canada on 23Apr2005

Noisy
I guess I really just don't get it. I't hard to make out what the lyrics are except at the end where I think you are saying "sorry". Well, in the words of P. Townshend, 'You are Forgiven'.
- Niacisum from De Kalb, Illinois on 22Apr2005

trying
Lo fi big time! hard to find some good in here, who's killing the cat!
- Mckael from Oberstdorf, Bavaria, Germany on 22Apr2005

Wilco teams up with a very drunk Eric Clapton
i really like the sound effects and noise in the intro... this really reminds me of bands like wilco and radiohead...its like those artists mixed with early eric clapton on crack...this song is very original in its own kinda way....the indie feel in this song, also, is very catchy...GREAT SONG!!!
- ToddEvanDavis from Cabot, Arkansas on 21Apr2005

good
folky experiment rock reminds me of some old beck stuff. I dig it sounds like a better recording might bring out the sounds a bit more otherwise good job
- honestgod from Mohonk Lake, New York on 21Apr2005

lo fi suburban blues?
At first this reminded me of early Ween. Then, it reminded me of early Ween and early Beck. The lo fi recording quality totally works in the song's favor and adds to the vibe of careless abandon. The absence of distorted guitar chords is a pleasant change. This non traditional take on the blues isn't entirely original, but this group has put a zany spin on it at least.
- boatwalker from Unspecified on 19Apr2005

lets kill mainstreet
Great intro, is an invitation for an insane sound, the guitars are sweet-slide-delicious, great work to the guitar player (coming from a guitarist), the percussion have a nice cowboy be bop, the voice have attitude(the most important thing), and i want to give a really nice credit for the mix, is a really good work.
Is nice to hear this
The Pilots
- YorkO from Mexico City, Edo.Mx, Mexico on 18Apr2005

Interesting
Cool sound guys. The vocals are ok but could be better. The song does get kind of boring though and could be more dynamic. I like the guitar. Decent song guys, you just need some better production.
- Chimeshadow from Santa Barbara, California on 18Apr2005

Slide-Happy
Are you waltzing on purpose, or is that cause of the booze? This has kind of a Beatles-esque sound to it, with even more drugs and alcohol involved. Yeah, it's like Beck gets together with the Beatles to jam. Very psychedelic feel and just plain insane sounding. I like it though.
- bhodges01 from Stillwater, Oklahoma on 18Apr2005

my grandmother is back!
i wonder when this recording is made. it reminds me old blues LPs.
General feeling of the song is very good. But i think 3 minutes is very long for this recording quality; and for your ears. different 'though.
- Emre from Istanbul, Fatih, Turkey on 18Apr2005

Rough DA
The rouggh low production is great, i love rough dirty earthy grounded to the dirt stuff, i like the slide going on, it's what it is and i know your intentions, or so i think, I won't say much, the sound is rough and you know it, keep up expermenting
- LaExistance from Chicago, Illinois on 17Apr2005

Biscuit Monster
The beginning remonds me of a biscuit monster wich should be the main character in the video....thrashing and knocking shit over in a 7-11. Scaring the hell out of everthing in it's path.........until the Brillo Beast steps up and proceeds to KICK SOME ASS - THEN BOTH OF THEM START TO GROW UNTIL THEY ARE STEPPING ON CARS DURING RUSH HOUR AND EATING THEM - The news reporters can't say shit cuz it's the REAL DEAL
- Hamrick from Denver, Colorado on 17Apr2005

Industrial Honkey-Tonk
Though the production quality is very poor, or perhapse thats part of the mystic, this very bizarre song has some mojo. The vocals are awesome very distant and kind of whiney blues style. The overall sound and arrangment has a Tom Waits style to it. Guitar has a saw sound to it. Although you may have written or created this song in an anrchistic way it is pretty cool.
- SexandMachines from Santa Rosa, California on 17Apr2005

not a bad song
your song was overall pretty good, but a few things that could have made it better are; a better recording it wasnt bad, but it could have been better. Second the lead singers voice was kind of high and I thought that it cracked. And third the drums and the tamberine werent really it time with each other.
- emerge07 from Unspecified on 17Apr2005

Lo-Fi...the real Deal. No kidding you!!!
Wow. What can say. Some people will hate it but me ,with my eclectic taste, LOVE IT. Kind of like the first time I heard the Velvet Underground. Anyway I like the minimalist production. Drums are great. No bass...why not!
------ACE------
- Alick from London, East London, United Kingdom on 17Apr2005

lo fi
this is one the more original things i've encountered, very low fi, reminds me a little of early flaming lips but has a bluesy thing going on. i really like the beginning, actually this is very basement tapes-y and the vocalist reminds me of rick danko a little.
cool stuff. inspired.
- jeremyradway from Unspecified on 16Apr2005

nice emotion
Nice emotion. Too bad u dont have better production for this one because i can tell that it has potential. I like the swaying beat
- lecko from Unspecified on 15Apr2005

noisey southern goodness
This song is recorded, played and sang awfully... on purpose! Good song with a neat excecution and the mix isn't half bad. The slide is a lil high up, but I dig this song, wish it was a little faster. The vocals are sang in a almost inaudible careless style through a bad mic or a fx pedal. The fuzz of the whole song helps us know that we are in weird territory and there is an unlikely chance that we will be leaving in other other way.. And so the song trudges forth slowly and just in case you hadn't noticed the singer is repeating the word slowly, and the noise seems to continue as the song dies. I like this type of stuff, much like Julius Caesar era Smog with a nice slide guitar barely making sense over the distracting drums. All of wich seems intentional, so I will side with the artists here and assume they know what they are doing and assume I like what they are doing as well. Assumtion can be a key to experimental rock.
- mrarashi from Reno, Nevada on 15Apr2005

I hate to give bad reviews, but...
Um....Don't know what to say but that was pretty bad. I don't know at level musicians you are but you have a ways to go, but there is nothing wrong with sounding bad we all did at one time and you to will pass this phase.
Don't give up even the best sounded bad at one time.
- rbrooks55 from Santee, California on 15Apr2005

aerosmith on acid
this sounds like aerosmith and pink floyd on some seriously good acid. the slide guitar is great. the sound could be a little better but for the most part it works great. just a little more clarity would have been nice. sounds like a room recording. this song could be great in a drunken bout of mass depression. whiskey and pain killers.
- LowFi from New Haven, Connecticut on 15Apr2005

well..
Sounds pretty out of tune to say the least and out of time. I have trouble appreciating trhat for an entire song. The vocals are ok from what i can hear. The production is real bad.
- CraZyPickleZ from Edmonton, Alberta on 15Apr2005

ACTUALLY DIFFERENT
REALLY ORIGINAL. EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE A LOT OF ATONAL CHANGES GOING ON, THERE ARE ALSO LITTLE GEMS OF MELODY THAT FLUTTER THROUGHOUT THE MIX. I DUG THE SLIDE GUITAR. I LIKED WHAT I COULD HEAR OF THE LYRICS. ALL IT REMINDED ME OF IS A REALLY EXPERIMENTAL BECK.
- Sola from Stratford, New Jersey on 15Apr2005

Extra Credit Awards
Originality-8
Mood-5
Guitar-5
Drums-3
Male Vocals-3
Beat-3
Production-2
Stupidest Song Ever-2
Best Feel Good Song-1
Most Rocking Song-1
Most Bitter Breakup Song-1
Melody-1

7 Mile

2005-04-30T07:29:00.000-04:00

Hi-diddly-ho
In our continuing series of songs being reviewed on GarageBand.com, we have made our way through the review cycle of "7 Mile" here is all the info about the song and the reviews that it received. Reviewers are also able to give extra credit to certain elements of a song, a list of the extra credit awards will be shown after all the reviews. See you momentarily with, "Zoe".

7 Mile(4:58)

Score 1.5 out of 5.0
#138 of 142 in Current Groove Rock
#1427 of 1435 in All-Time Groove Rock

History
This song appeared on the Tonto Savalas album, Manifesto. Jeff sings and plays guitar, Rob plays bass, and Mick is the drummer and does the intro. The song was most likely recorded sometime in 1998. Jeff did the production work on it. It's also worth mentioning that this is the first song that we did not put up in Experimental Rock and it suffered because of that.

Lyrics
Mick-Rock, I said Rock, I said Rock and Roll

Jeff-Those girls on 7 Mile
I think they were call girls
I don't think that they were too expensive
Because they weren't dressed too nice

Those girls were hookers

Reviews
a few things
this live recording sounds really cheap. it's a tired formula. I feel like your song is a joke that I don't get. The singing needs much work. ditoo for the bass drums and guitar.
- Pileofned from Hicksville, New York on 27Apr2005

????
Very muddy recording. Not sure I understand the point of this song. None of the parts of the band are fitting together at all. It sounds like everyone is playing a different song. Keep trying guys!
- getung from Calgary, Alberta, Canada on 27Apr2005

review
tuning is always a good idea.... great vocals definatley can tell though this is a live recording... great work!!
- LiquidHarvest from Charleston, West Virginia on 26Apr2005

I don't like the I say rock
the song would have been better without the introduction. The vocal key is off pitch and bouncy. I don't really care for it.
- lindsaymaestas47 from Colorado Springs, Colorado on 26Apr2005

Good intro YEAH ROCK
Is this a live recording? Sounds like a tape recorder in the middle of a room. The singer sings off key. I cant go on.
- jonni_starfish from Sarnia, Ontario, Canada on 26Apr2005

zykes!---drunken midget aliens have taken over your garage
ok, lose the spinal tap beginning unless you're in high school. too gargebandish for me. drum part is boring and the cymals dont sound good. bass sound is too full of effects. i will say that the band plays together well. vocals are terrible.
- LIGHTNINGHAND from Sacramento, California on 25Apr2005

abc
alot of attention is needed on this track..levels are off..practice the song more before recording again..track has no hook or solid melody line..vox need work..too long-make it short and sweet..overall mix needs work..good luck
- overhill_nj from Blackwood, New Jersey on 24Apr2005

Not sure
the song doesnt seem to fit with itself, as if there are two different keys going on at the same time. the guitars are too heavy, and it doesn't really groove too much. the guitars are too heavy, and so is the bass, and the singing doesn't fit. my advice would be to regroup, and try to find a different heavy sound that fits with each other, because sometimes songs that don't fit could sound good, or bad, and you guys wound up drawing the short end of the straw with that one. sorry, but i think the song needs to be completely redone, because absolutely nothing fits in it.
- tamadrummer1422 from Wallingford, Pennsylvania on 23Apr2005

practice makes perfect
I like the intro idea, but the ensuing musical intro is not strong enough to support it. Jamming on changes is cool for rehearsal and sometimes live performances, but for a recording, cut it to a minimum. The lead vocalist needs to watch his intonation and enunciation. It's cool sometimes to just belt, but that should be few and far between. The audience needs to trust your ability to sing in tune and with precision when you choose. The belting should be selected, not the only option. Mixwise, when there is a guitar solo, bring it up front. It was pretty buried in everything else. The guitar is much colder in the mix than anything else. Vocals are too hot, as are the drums. The structure of the song is not clearly defined. It feels like a jam session. Nothing wrong with this, but if you want to develop your songwriting, you're gonna need to step away from that for a while.
- intervisionary from Milwaukie, Oregon on 21Apr2005

did he say 7 mile
being from detroit, the first lyric that stood out was the phrase "7 mile" if thats what he said. The recording of this song sounded really raw. This really sounded like it was recorded in a garage, or a tiny hole in the wall bar, for the tone of the song the recordeing quality went well with, but i wouldn't mind hearing a more clean-cut version. I really liked all the end of the song, especially the build of of percussion with the pause afterward. The end of the song reminded me of hendrix and a band of gypsys.
- persiphone_is from Woodhaven, Michigan on 21Apr2005

this is some homestyle
fortunatly, this type of music works well and sounds well coming off of a dirty cassette tape straight out of a boombox, which is what i'm assuming this was recorded with. very 70's hendrix sounding little cobainyness.
- driveshaft from Fort Wayne, Indiana on 20Apr2005

???
a very garage type recording. I can't really tell what your going for here. Tighten up the screws here and I think it could be alot better. A little theory or structure would help as well.
- jlehto from Sheboygan, Wisconsin on 19Apr2005

Live Drunk guitar
Sorry guys this song is horrible.Off key vocals and terrible sounding guitar...either out of tune or just plain ugly.I have nothing good to say about this song...ex-cept the drumms were played with competance.
- Nitromeistro from Puyallup, Washington on 19Apr2005

Are you serious?
Come on man. I'm not putting any effort into a review if you don't put any into the song.
- ndelc from Albuquerque, New Mexico on 19Apr2005

nice intro
i was laughing at the dude yelling rock and roll. quite funny. As far as the rock and roll goes, it seems that it is lacking a bit of energy here in the beginning. Guitar could be turned up a bit more. vocals could use some effect of some sort, to make it sound more full. out of key at some points, maybe check that out and try to improve on it. nothing really excites me about this track. It's not bad, it's not the best. keep on jamming and making some cool songs. yeah
- bgiacomi from West Lafayette, Indiana on 18Apr2005

Jammin!!
A young band jamming in the basement, I dig it. The vocals are cool, wild and a little scarey. The drummer is pretty solid. The guitar is cool. Everybody sounds like they have the potential to kick ass one day. Keep practicing and getting tighter!
- skeeboknight from Macon, Georgia on 18Apr2005

great bassline
It has a real good bass line that keeps the song moving. Music is good and well rounded. Sounds like a real good jam session.
- DownsideCole from Unspecified on 15Apr2005

no rock + no roll = boring
Well, there's definitely no rock happening here- that's for sure. There's absolutely no songwriting skills portrayed here whatsoever, just pure thoughtless and sloppy wankery. From the absolutely atrocious vocals (terrbile pitch, mundane phrasing and outright dumb lyrics) to the shoddy guitar solo (meaningless shred-fest) there's nothing here for the listener. Congratulations on your self indulgent drivel- come back when you've got somthing to offer. You guys would get torn to shreds in a high scholl talent show.
- tractorj0hn from Presque Isle, Maine on 15Apr2005

GARAGEband
A true garageband! Recorded in dad's garage? Bet this was fun to record BUT....lead guitarist hit his share of 'clams' - vocalist also had his share of sour notes. Mix was set on "11's" all the way through. Too much. I wouldn't play this song out in public in this present form but its perfect for your dad's garage. Nope, couldn't get into your groove.
- TXsweetchild from San Antonio, Texas on 12Apr2005

Different Sound
I like the vocalist in the song. He sounds like Jimmy Hendrix mixed with Jim Morrison. I think that the levels on the track are a bit off. I think that the lead guitar needed to be turned up. The song is different from all the music I've heard. Heavy stuff.
- AlfredVillarino from El Monte, California on 10Apr2005

Extra Credit Awards
Stupidest Song Ever-3
Mood-2
Drums-1

I said rock! Rock!

2005-04-28T23:31:00.000-04:00

I found a goodie today. The Hype Machine. Click on whatever your music player is and it downloads a list of songs posted on some selected blogs. The result? Free Music. I scrolled down their list before doing any kind of clicking and I was going to pass on this site, but a couple of names caught my attention; Rory Erickson, Curtis Mayfield, Dillinger Escape Plan and the Muppets. The name that convinced me to click, however, was the Legendary Stardust Cowboy. This is the guy that Bowie took the Stardust part of Ziggy Stardust from- at least accoriding to Alan Cross. Mr.Cross has a catalog of interesting articles mainly focused on 'alternative rock.'

Followup: By some odd coincidence, while reading the amg bio of the Legendary Stardust Cowboy above, I came across the name Hasil Adkins. Well, after posting this I went to another of my regular internet stops and find out that Mr. Adkins died yesterday. Very sad. Found a few mp3s, if you're curious.

Autopilot

2005-04-26T08:44:00.000-04:00

Wow, I have no idea what this is really, but I know freaky when I see it. This girl is either very afraid or very, very stoned. Just look for your self.

Be Careful Bitching at Comcast

2005-04-23T01:22:00.000-04:00

ST. CLAIR SHORES, Mich. -- A man was taken into custody by police after he allegedly made threats to employees at a Comcast customer service station in St. Clair Shores. Daniel Taugher, 41, rode his bike to the service center and went inside to complain about the price of his bill. Police said he started shouting threats while in the lobby. Taugher said he was going to blow up the building and told employees he would kill everyone inside, according to police. Detectives believe he was under the influence of alcohol. Taugher left the service center, but later returned to the area. Police said they took him into custody when they found him at a nearby field, interrupting some youth athletic games.

Comcast released the following statement on Friday in response to the threats: "At Comcast, the safety of our customers and employees is of utmost importance. We are cooperating fully with St. Clair Shores Police as they investigate this matter."

Taugher is being held on a $200,000 bond and could face up to 20 years in prison if convicted.

Suecide Me

2005-04-22T21:10:00.000-04:00

Hello Everybody
In our continuing series of songs being reviewed on GarageBand.com, we have made our way through the review cycle of "Suecide Me" here is all the info about the song and the reviews that it received. Reviewers are also able to give extra credit to certain elements of a song, a list of the extra credit awards will be shown after all the reviews. See you next time with, "7 Mile".

Suecide Me(4:51)

Score 2.5 out of 5.0
#165 of 194 in Current Experimental Rock
#1115 of 1,374 in All-Time Experimental Rock

History
This was on the Tonto Savalas album, Honey Mustard. As far as I know, this is a song about a love/hate relationship between Mick and an ex of his named Sue. This song was recorded most likely in the fall of 1995 with all vocals and instrumentation being done by Mic. Scott produced it.

Lyrics
In general I'm much to lazy to put up lyrics, maybe some nice soul will edit them into this post. I actually did try writing them but there were too many things that I didn't know.

Reviews
i loooooove piano intros to rock songs!!
First of all im not even a piano player and i love this intro...unfortunatly the vocals are kinda like a bad roger waters, although this does sound like it could be off the wall.
- Bluffmusic from South Salem, New York on 20Apr2005

High hopes torn down
In the beginning, a song has an introduction. Then, with other intstruments or chords, the song progresses. In this case, the song represses with addition of the vocals. Maybe the straining of the voice is supposed to show the listener how desparate the vocalist really is. However, the lulling of the first piano riff is what caught my attention and that would have to be the strong point of the recording.
- thetimelinepost from Unspecified on 20Apr2005

Sloppy with Swagger
The piano is excellent. The singing is a bit annoying. The way it's delivered reminds me of Daniel Johnston or Wesley Willis.Don't care for it much.If that's the plan then it' works.
- jrumbass from Raleigh, North Carolina on 20Apr2005

Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God
You suck so hard I thought I was listening to gay porn. Aggghhhhhh
what are you trying to do man.
Please for the love of god just stop. and for the guy who is going to review my review. listen to this fucking song and tell me I am wrong. this is just Mean to subject a real musician to this.
this is something I would have done at the age of 4. Know what
I am not even going to be nice anymore. Fuck you you talentless fucking shitbag. you wasted my time. I blow fart bubbles in my bath With more talent. you worthless asshole Fuck Off and die
- jayceerocker from College Point, Queens, New York on 17Apr2005

Alright
The Piano sounded really good. It had a really nice melody. It's just the singing i didn't like. It didn't seem like the singer could reach high notes very well. Kind of sounded like cats meowing.
- nickmccollum from Laotto, Indiana on 15Apr2005

this is oddly very good in the end except for..
This song starts off with a great piano run, i like the possibiltiy of it being really pretty now...oh shit!bad singer.a bit of a softie too.singing about killing himself i think.very dramatic,great in capturing a very dark and desparte mood. take a singing lesson, if you don't think you need it right now.Knd of a Flaming lips quality though, maybe this is what he is after.i really like those piano chords.i think someone takes a piss at 2:45 min... i think that is just weird.
- BattleshipEthel from Hamilton, Ontario, Canada on 15Apr2005

kill me now
oh my god.learn to sing, it pains me to finish the song, the piano is good but that voice just sucks any deep thought or emotion from the song. gawd! it's actually cracking me up, i'd finish the song but its making my logic deteriorate as we speak. i am putting myself in danger of going tone deaf if i listen to anymore. please don't ever sing again. wait, even the backup singer can't sing. jeez, can you just not hear yourself? ack like nails across a chalkboard
- maxheadlessness from Summersville, West Virginia on 14Apr2005

haunted
this song sounds like a ghost. or a memory. or drunks. i'm not sure. but i love it.
the hiss and the piano are what its all about.
is someone pissing during part of this song?
man i hope so.
- coyplott from Charlotte, North Carolina on 14Apr2005

Oh piano me baby
First of, dont ever, ever stop playing the piano its fantastic with its repeating melody. Also a bit weird paired up with the high Helium pitched vocals..nice lyrics though. Is that you takin a piss in the song? It made me smile with the water sound. The corius is very nice...now thers a good grating sound. over all its a good song.
- slowminded from Park Row, Texas on 13Apr2005

Slowminded happened to write us back about the song a couple of weeks later, this is what he had to say:
I still listen to the song "Suecide Me" on a daily basis, what a fucking great sound you have going on there, this song inspires me and the more I listen to it the more I feel like I've gaind something from it, be it inspiration, calmness, or the shear aggressiveness of it at times. Its a wonder that I just noticed how well the sped up part in the middle sounded against the backdrop of dark piano. Every time I hear this song I must give you props for the mood you set for the listener in this song.

Haunted by a freak?
The intro got me excited, as it sounds like a nice type of Mogwai, but the singing is not for me. Its probably the production/ recording situation, but it sounds distant: and a bit liek a mix between Iggy Pop and Ozzy Osbourne. The backup vocals scare me a bit as well. I did like the water effects. I know its supposed to be experimental, but this might be a bit too much for me.
- Apotropaic from Unspecified on 13Apr2005

Strange but intriguing me....
I really like the piano that I'm hearing. It's a lovely melody. I'm not sure what to make of the vocals. They're recorded a little harsh. Well, I consider myself honest so hear it goes...the vocals are very flat in most parts, as well, the harmony is way off. The piano really is a redeeming part of this recording. The vocals are recorded too loud. A compressor could help soften those harsh points in the mix. It sounds like someone's taking a leak. Seriously. That's what I hear. Is that water or something? This is so hard to listen to at points. Is it a joke? I'm seriuosly asking. If not, sorry, but it's really hard to listen to. I've reviewed 140 pairs of songs on Garageband and I have never said that before. We're near the end of your track now and I'll leave it by still saying that the basic piano melody is really quite pretty. Good luck to you.
- psaurini from Northglenn, Colorado on 13Apr2005

Very Wobbly
Pros:
The piano sample was nice, it fit the mood of the song nicely and had a nice "sway" to it. The lyrics had good emotion and fit the song well(From what I could understand of them.)

Cons:
The singer needs to know how to sing. His voice was very wobbly, and always either sharp or flat. The song was lacking in instrumentation. The piano sample would have went nicely with a guitar or even some hand drums (to keep the mellowness). I'm not sure what it was supposed to mean, but in the middle of the song it sounded like someone was taking a leak....not sure. This song could possibly have a lot of emotional power if you would clean it up, hit the right notes singing, and added something to accompany the piano.
Over-All 2 out of 10
- Sever_AL_ from Anniston, Alabama on 12Apr2005

emotion was belivable
horrible sound, horrible singer,
bad everything except for dynamic breakdown @ 2:25.
the most awful song i've ever heard!!!!
if you like WEEN thats cool but only they can pull off the badness of the boognish!!!!
the song is so bad...
the only good thing i have to say is that the emotion was belivable.
- dollar_bill from Colorado Springs, Colorado on 12Apr2005

Nice start
The start can define a song, this one is very musical, sad and the rain. Wow wait...the singer...the piano...the lyrics...therain...thesong...mmm...fell deep...asavior?...thepiano...hope the anguish is honest. Desperate noise, dark strokes of faith. Hope goes angry...walks with piano..and is still raining.
- LaExistance from Chicago, Illinois on 12Apr2005

pretty wasted?
Hissy distant sounding miked upright piano. Singing comes in -- the guy is sincere but doesn't have a good voice. Maybe kinda like Randy Newman. The singing is off key. Out of tune backups at about 1:50 don't help. Things shift to another chord structure at 2 minutes. Sounds like they shifted the tape speed or something. Running water or taking a leak or someting at 2:50 is interesting. I think these people were very drunk or high when they recorded. Maybe they are aiming for a Shane McGowan sort of thing.
- rcrath from Honolulu, Hawaii on 10Apr2005

Fine Piano Work on introduction...
Man, i don't know what to think really... I can't undertand the words so i can't respond to the lyrics. Nothing besides voice and piano? Well, the piano is splendid and the best thing you have working for you. It's delicate, nicely recorded and shows exceptional talent in the ebony and ivory department. Now abotu those vocals or lack thereof. It sounds liek you're making a joke really. Never on key at all that i could hear and hard to make out words or the language you're speaking. Weird to say the least.
Overall production is B-.
- damien_lucas from Valliant, Oklahoma on 10Apr2005

afloat in melancholy
drifting afloat on a grand piano. in an ocean of melancholy. depressing lyrics and vocals.made me think about snuff in it out.the burst of anger kinda sparatic like the change though. background vocals give alittle more depth to the song. overall its okay. i would have i nother person sing lyrics and have whoever singing now doing back up pieces for certain parts . other than the vocals love the piano
- bloodybutcher from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma on 6Apr2005

An experiment gone awry...
I hate to say this, but it sounds like a couple drunk people got behind a piano and started to sing way out of key without a key in the world. The song just didn't seem serious at all. It's almost as if you're making fun of yourselves. It's a shame, because it sounds like whoever is at the piano can actually play.
- OO@528253~629Management from Jacksonville, Florida on 6Apr2005

alrighty then
I like the piano part. Well written and atmospheric. The vocals on the other hand...?
I admire the passion, if thats what it was.., but unfortunately i dont think its a secret that anyone reviewing this would say the vocals are bad. I cant review the lyrics because they were completely masked in inaudible noise.
- schwagrotto from West Valley City, Utah on 6Apr2005

keep it instrumental
at least until you practice your vocals a lot. you're unable to stay on a note or reach the note you're going for. i'm not criticizing your STYLE, just your ability, which is purely up to practice. beautiful piano, though. hard to make things out when it gets loud, quality is too low.
haha, nice water sound. well, nice as in, it's funny you used a real water sound, cause most people would use a sample, but i guess you have to with this low fi home recording.
- Azgotzia from Unspecified on 5Apr2005

Extra Credit Awards
Each reviewer (out of the 20 reviews) is allowed to give as many awards as they see fit, the number after each award is the amount of times that aspect got an extra credit vote.

Keyboards-11
Mood-5
Melody-2
Originality-2
Production-2
Stupidest Song I've Ever Heard-2
Lyrics-1
Male Vocals-1
Smoochiest Love Song-1

Reviews mentioning the water sound-3
Reviews mentioning someone taking a piss-6

On GarageBand they have a section titled "Reviewers' Picks" these are sorted by genre. Songs within each genre receiving the most Extra Credit Awards for a specific element become the song of the week for that element. Well I forgot to mention that "Suecide Me" was awarded the reviewers pick award for the week of April 11th, 18th, and 25th, in the category of "Best Keyboards/Organ/Piano" and was the "Stupidest Song Ever" for the week of April 11th.

Communication Breakdown?

2005-04-21T20:59:00.000-04:00

Have you ever wanted to communicate with the dead? I know I have. Now you can communicate with the dead! You only need some time, patience, and a little soldering experience and before you know it you will find yourself talking with the departed using your very own SPIRICOM MARK IV system.

Speed

2005-04-20T17:12:00.000-04:00

Just found an excellent tool for testing you internet connection's upload/download speed. You may choose your own way in which to worship me.

Here's some dope on the new pope.

2005-04-20T04:36:00.000-04:00

Oi. You catholics out there have a new spiritual leader. Benedictine XVI. He a right wing kind of guy. Which seems pretty par for the course, lately. Oh, and apparently he was a member of the Hitler Youth. Fun.

I think I need to get me some religion, but I'm not into the whole monotheistic thing. I've always been down with the Greek gods, though. Anyone still worship them? I think I'll grab some Johnson's baby oil and anoint myself high priest of Aphrodite.

She Keeps Talking To Me

2005-04-17T17:00:00.001-04:00

Hi y'all
In our continuing series of songs being reviewed on GarageBand.com, we have made our way through the review cycle of "She Keeps Talking To Me" here is all the info about the song and the reviews that it received. Reviewers are also able to give extra credit to certain elements of a song, a list of the extra credit awards will be shown after all the reviews. In addition, "She Keeps Talking To Me" was awarded song of the day on April 16th. See you next time with, "Suecide Me".

She Keeps Talking To Me (2:59)

Score 3.4 out of 5.0
#76 of 196 in Current Experimental Rock
#389 of 1,366 in All-Time Experimental Rock

History
This was on the Buddha All-Stars album, Hello. This song was recorded in two sessions. The 1st session took place in 1998 with Rob on Vocals and Mic on Guitar. In 2002, Adam added Background Vocals, Guitar, and assorted Percussion, Scott added Keys.

Lyrics
In general I'm much to lazy to put up lyrics, maybe some nice soul will edit them into this post.

Reviews
Very Monotonous
This song could have been 30 seconds and conveyed the same message. The bombardment of different sounds, feedback, guitar sustain, and just general noise doesn't cover up the quality of recording. Sadly, it only sounds like noise and doesn't convey any message. It's hard to pick the different parts apart because it just sounds like a mess. The vocals were the only audible part of the song, and I only needed to hear that line once and I got the point. I'd re-record this one instrument at a time so you have a little more control over the amount of ambient noise in comparison to the noise that you are looking for. Could be interesting if it was audible...and cut it down to under a minute.
- faz_7E from Cromwell, Connecticut on 11Apr2005

where are you?
cool speed. i enjoy the background singing. the whole mix is a little washed out...but maybe that's on purpose. a better recording would help out a lot.
- moonowl from Johnson City, Tennessee on 9Apr2005

lo-fi sound works
Reminds me of early Ween. Keep the lo-fi sound it works with your loose/improvisational sound. I bet the all your songs are completely different from each other. I think they should be because after an hour of that I would scream.
- Ethiopiate8 from Crystal Lake (Not The Camp), Illinois on 9Apr2005

Very eerie
This song was very eerie but also set a really cool mood. I like the samples you used and how you started the song. It was a little bit repetitive, but that kind of emphasized and exagurated the mood. I loved the way you ended the song too. Its cool mood music.
- kooks from Unspecified on 9Apr2005

poor
Ok well there's nothing special about this track. Everything sound muffled. The vocals are barely audible, and it would be useless trying to understand them. It's experimenral alright, but I don't know where you want to go with this. What's the point ?
- desertedparking from Quebec, Canada on 8Apr2005

Interesting
If you were going for something experimental, kind of a more upbeat Neurosis sound, then it works. But it sure doesn't ahve any mainstream/pop characteristics to it at all. A little heavy on the echoes, kind of gets muddy. Could be balanced better as well, the guitar should be more prominent and the howling should be more ambient -- it just gets in the way as it is... Vocals are pretty good, lyrics are kind of uninspired though. The sound is kind of tinny as well, maybe include something that has some bass to it? Very lose instrumentally, might want to tighen that up a bit, edit out the squeaks and whatnot. Beyond that, very interesting piece. If the B-52s did a lot of LSD it might sound like this, which is a good thing if you ask me.
- kolanos from Reno, Nevada on 8Apr2005

aaahhhh naerly
I guess it depends on where your heads at as far as what your able to handle. It didn't do much for me from asoundscape point of view. I believe that with a soundscape style song it still needs to catch you from the beginning. There is something a little dissonant in ti and it turns me away. But please continue with your style it obviously indiviual.
- Eschalon from Unspecified on 7Apr2005

Oh Very Yeah
Right away the production value shows that a real effort has been put into this piece. This quasi pop song finds several levels in which to experiment. The ambience of the piece is it's stongest feature which very slyly gives way to a structure that made feel I was listening to a punk song heard underwater. By the time I'm making out lyrics I also making out a Joy Division influence. I personally think a wealth of garbage finds it's way into this catagory and I was very pleasently suprised to come across this gem. Actual experimental music in the experimental music catagory, who woulda thunk it? Please keep making music because you are making music interesting.
- sesimon from Nashville, Tennessee on 7Apr2005

makes me wanna scream
i love the ambient intoduction to the song. i think the absense of drums creates an emptiness to the song piece.The vocals are muddy and repetitous remind me of a pere ubu sound. which i think is great. there are some missing elements to making this a great song. I know how i feel when someone makes me scream though.
- bloodybutcher from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma on 6Apr2005

smooth
This is a nicely done ambient track with a very muddy feel. The mixing of all instruments/vocals/effects on an even scale keep the listener almost confused at what to pay attention to - a bold and appreciated choice. There aren't too many key elements one can grab onto other than the vocals, which are almost inaudbile in a Sigur Ros-like way. Very smooth from start to finish.
- bitter_tongues from Austin, Texas on 6Apr2005

scream then
I hear Pere Ubu influence... I'm waiting for the song to drop in, but it's not really coming out of the intro. Has it been mixed low across the board to create a dreamy, detached feel? Or is it just an inadvertantly low-level transfer? And it ended. This could best be described as a collage, good ideas but the noisy mix makes it unnecessarily difficult for the listener to connect with what's going on.
- aquatic_ape from Del Mar, California on 31Mar2005

underwater
had an underwater feel to it in the intro. i like all the blending of sounds but was waiting for a hook to come sooner. the guitar work sounds great if it was more up front with the ambient vocal a bit clearer youd have something here-the substance is there its just the production thats not
- SkyblupinkLtd from Sayville, New York on 31Mar2005

super
yes it sounded like some trippy techno beat, i couldnt tell what you were saying and all i could really understand was the guitar part, it was oddly compelling
- JFW from Apple Valley, California on 30Mar2005

Too wet
Someone pick that phone up! Ok, i see, it's a ring modulator. This piece is really struggling to break through all that reverb and that's a shame - you could have used a lot less on this recording. The song is based on a simple chord progression and someone is reciting a mantra way back there. Only guitars, voice and noise - that could be a song if you didn't leave everything so wet with verb. Dry it up and you could have a good song here.
- bluerat from Malmoe, Skane, Sweden on 30Mar2005

interesting
I dont know if this was intended but it reminded me of a christmas song. Just in the way the melody during the verses mix with the ambient noise. Sounds like jingle bells or something. Other than that, pretty original and intriguing.
- schwagrotto from West Valley City, Utah on 30Mar2005

Extra Credit Awards
Each reviewer (out of the 15 reviews) is allowed to give as many awards as they see fit, the number after each award is the amount of times that aspect got an extra credit vote.

Male Vocals-3
Production-3
Mood-3
Originality-3
Coolest Chill-Out Track-1
Lyrics-1

Drowning Into Darkness

2005-04-15T00:39:00.000-04:00

In our continuing effort to teach the world to sing, we here at the Tonto Savalas and Buddha All-Stars blog page are bringing you the award winning album by the Buddha All-Stars, Drowning Into Darkness (that's a real loose version of the word award, my mom said it was the bestest). This is a concept album and considering some of you may not know what the concept of the album is we asked band member Scott Lozon to explain:

You often ask me (at least i've imagined that you've asked me) about the meaning behind some of the Buddha albums, well i just came across one in my mental filing cabinet. Sorry if you don't care or already know, maybe this is as much for me, here we go, in a nutshell (okay maybe a walnutshell), all the buddha albums are about a central character, J, we won't get into the significance behind J's name right now (that's for a later day), well Drowning into Darkness is the story that gets into J's cosmic nature, or at least it leads to the very beginning of that, cosmic may not be the right word, celestial, otherwordly, 4th dimension, oh wait i know, his ability to bend space and time, i guess i got to go forward for this to make any sense. The story/album starts with Jay killing himself, he walks into the water, he's had all he can stand, and he bids this world goodbye, the story then takes place in those fleeting unconcious moments between life and death, he remembers being born and then his childhood passes in a flash, he's already a young man, getting into trouble, tasting the wickedness that this world has to offer, it's all footloose and fancy free, but there are signs pointing to the things that will be his downfall, drunken brawls, objectifying women, drug abuse, then he is a man, he becomes famous and burns out (that's the Wall of Sound album), finally out of the places that held him, he turns to the bottle to ease his weary mind, when he hooks up with a floozy for awhile, they get into a fight and he kills her, tries to hide the body, gets caught, gets sent to the electric chair, they flip the switch...and in those fleeting unconcious moments between life and death, he remembers, he remembers it all, this ain't the first time that he's died and it won't be the last, there's more out there after death, life is just part of the game. This is all to make you a wiser and smarter drinker.

Okay, make of that what you will. Because of space constraints we will be presenting the album one side at a time, with the second side coming in about two weeks. If you would like to stream it, click here. If you would like to go to our host site page and download it click here. As a final note, we would love to hear your feedback on the album or songs that you've listened to, so please leave your comments. Have fun.